tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7154679782170119347.post3542513700494060805..comments2023-11-16T06:56:25.495-04:00Comments on Blog - Susan Black Art: almond eyesSusanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00260575133577123845noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7154679782170119347.post-30846648315446469582008-01-17T15:17:00.000-04:002008-01-17T15:17:00.000-04:00Oh, Susan, I'm so sorry you're going through this....Oh, Susan, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Losing a loved one is hard, and anger is definitely part of the process. I can say, "I understand" or "I feel your pain," but it's only partially true, because while I've been in a similar situation and can empathize, it's not exactly the same and I'm not you. Just know that I wish the best for both of you, and have faith that you'll know when the time comes.J.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7154679782170119347.post-86765596341013628022008-01-17T12:53:00.000-04:002008-01-17T12:53:00.000-04:00Thank you Vee for the big, big hug that I do feel ...Thank you Vee for the big, big hug that I do feel coming from all the way out west. I really don't mind being by myself through this, I'm used to it and mostly completely content. And I have my Winnie Dixon (thank God), who's completely freaked by my upset-ness, and she's also a huge comfort. looking at me worriedly and giving me lots of little kisses.<BR/><BR/>I just wish at times, especially in this weakened state, that there was someone to help "decide" with me. I question my instincts, even though I know in my heart I don't need to question them ... they've served me well for a very long time. <BR/><BR/>And a small part of me just can't bare to say goodbye to him, can't even imagine that this could all be true and really happening.Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00260575133577123845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7154679782170119347.post-22377276563788838722008-01-17T12:32:00.000-04:002008-01-17T12:32:00.000-04:00Goddammit!! I hate death and dying... for that ma...Goddammit!! I hate death and dying... for that matter I even hate getting older myself.. cuz everything gets full of wrinkles , falls apart or hurts and even if we are human...doctors still can't do much for most of our ailments either!<BR/>I never got past anger, depression and guilt when I had to put my old cats to sleep all those years ago... I know that is stupid, but that is how I am. I was also just good and pissed off that other family members never lifted a finger to help me out. The passing of so many years has dulled the sharpness of it all..but it still lingers...still rears its ugly head unbidden every so often.<BR/><BR/>Then, many years later... 10 years ago as a matter of fact... the same fate befell me in the death of my Mom. It was me that got to do the dirty. I spent the better part of a year at her apartment... while my husband and house were in a totally different province, never mind a different city. She wanted to be in her own home and so I had to go there in order to make it right for her. At the end I was pumping morphine in measure doses into a medi-port in her leg... wishing I could do something more...wishing I had a friend or sibling that would be there with me...... and in the the last few days, my sister did come, finally. <BR/><BR/>Could you call your sister? Might she come for a few days? Failing that ..a friend? Unless you would prefer to be alone... .but then, Could your favourite vet come to your house to put Jake to sleep peacefully and in his favourite spot? I know there are some around here that do come to your home to do that. I know you also have your friend that will help with transporting Jake if need be.... <BR/><BR/>Even if I don't know you personally Susan, I do feel that I know you about as well as anybody can know a friend. I wish I lived on your street.... a hug is so far away when it is in a distant city...but I send mine to you anyway. This is just a shitty time for you to be having...and having it all by yourself, although, sometimes we do prefer to be alone in certain situations I know. My eyes are definitely not almond.... they are just damn good and red and puffy from crying ...... <BR/>I send my love to you and Jake..BumbleVeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13272892605379537233noreply@blogger.com