the four agreements

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Samuel on the crescent beach / rose hips / the meadow on the way to the crescent beach / queen anne's lace still blooming / I love green / Atlantic Rock crab / alyssum 

Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

We take things personally when we agree with what others have said. If we didn't agree, the things that others say would not affect us emotionally. If we didn't care about what others think about us, their words or behaviour could not affect us. Even if someone yells at you, gossips about you, harms you or yours, it still is not about you! Their actions and words are based on what they believe in their personal dream. 

Our personal “Book of Law” and belief system makes us feel safe. When people have beliefs that are different from our own, we get scared, defend ourselves, and impose our point of view on others. If someone gets angry with us it is because our belief system is challenging their belief system and they get scared. They need to defend their point of view. Why become angry, create conflict, and expend energy arguing when you are aware of this? Don Miguel Ruiz - The Four Agreements

I had to get my well worn, dog eared copy of this fantastic book The Four Agreements to remind myself once again not to take the actions, words & behaviours of the mean people of this world personally ... not saying it's easy

bullies & silver linings

Friday, October 17, 2014

the ocean / bees & lavender / coleus / handsome, handsome Sam / a crow welcoming us onto the boardwalk / petunias / seaweed & barnacles / a long walk on the beach with my big guy / Oliver & cosmos bright lights

Remember that an act of hatred belittles the one who acts it out - but not the one it is done against unless that person allows it to. Each person who reaches out in love grows a bit himself even when the love appears to be refused. Dixie Dawn Miller Goode

I've been dealing with bullies, adult bullies - even worse than that adult bullies who are neighbours (relatively new to this little village). People who have a reputation and one that preceded their move, of being mean and nasty. Even though I know their bullying behaviour is directed at many, many people I'm still shocked and honestly a bit ashamed at how much their meanness bothers me, hurts me & takes over my thoughts - turning into a kind of non-stop obsessive rumination ?!? I'm currently reading Tara Brach's book* True Refuge: Finding Peace & Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart, WOW ! it's helping so much to teach me how to "let that shit go" and especially how to not make it personal - when it feels nothing but.

The silver lining in situations like this one is the reminder to treat everyone with kindness & compassion especially the bullies of the world ... that said I am counting the days until I move to Lunenburg and say my final goodbye !! to Mr & Mrs Mean.
If they don't like you for being yourself, be yourself even more. Taylor Swift

* I love this book SO much I've ordered a copy for myself, it's a book you want to have beside your bed for these angsty moments and a book you want to write notes in & highlite whole paragraphs.

evolving faith

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

oh my - the light, it's always about the light - photography is / nasturtiums in my still blooming, mostly flowers wee veggie garden / Creative Director Oliver - he thinks bet with his eye's closed and preferably basking in sunshine / more gorgeous front porch begonias + one of my favourite colours / Missy D & me on our early morning stroll / my studio windowgarden xoxo / back yard berries / our Virgil, orange Mama &a possible escape plan / I love this old poplar tree at the end of Water St. 

If your life is cloudy and you're far off course, you may have to go on faith for awhile, but eventually you'll learn that every time you trust your internal navigation system, you end up closer to your right life. Martha Beck 

My life doesn't feel cloudy at all these days, but it certainly did feel cloudy, stormy & difficult most of 2013 and well into this year and I did trust me, I knew in my heart that if I counted on my intuition, let my "gut" make decisions for me and embraced the idea of having faith (my one little word for this year) everything would fall into place - things would work out. After all if I was going to trust me & my intuition I better have faith that they wouldn't let me down and even if at first it seems like maybe they had let me down I'd remember to sit still, quietly and wait patiently until grace and the silver lining(s) appeared - emerging like dense from the dense fog of angst & worry - 'cause they always do appear. I've also tried (and am still trying) to kick the desire, need & want to control to the curb ... a habitual behaviour that I know longer believe in, though sometimes I forget and slip up and control comes waltzing in like she owns the place.

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself. Alan Alda

I'm reminding myself to try to not be so thinned skin, reminding myself that people who do doubt, question or judge my choices and decisions aren't in my camp - and that's OK. They're people who don't really know me but somehow are under the misguided impression that they know me very well. When you're a heart on sleeve kind of girl, which I am big time some people in my life take my constant openness & sharing far too literally, as if it's all fact & truth (they don't know the secret code), when actually it's process & evolution - I'm planning aloud, I'm brainstorming, I'm moving fast most of the time. By speaking my thoughts and ideas aloud and to people I'm working things out ... when a decision is finally made I know with all my heart that it's the best one for this time and place ... the best decision or choice for this moment in time.

The way that other people judge me is none of my business. Martha Beck