lichenologist

beautiful pack ice / a very old poplar / the view from the end of Water St. / fir branch with freshly fallen snow / Winnie, Juice, Bee & me early morning explorin' / lichenologist 1 / Juicy / beautiful & terrifying / lichenologist 2 / dusk and the ice has left on the receding tide / Winnie Dixon / I love her ♡ with all my heart, sweet Bee

It's official - beginning today I have become a Lichenologist, got my papers in the mail ... just sayin'

Currently reading Brené Brown's book Daring Greatly if you haven't watched Oprah & Brené yet go here

The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. 
It's our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows. Brene Brown - The Gifts of Imperfection

missy D went a callin'

Missy D + the Juice Man hanging out, havin' biscuits and tea, in a big patch of sunlight

dogson

big, gorgeous, goofy, gentle sweet Juicy - Miss D and I sure have a big ol' crush on him

I think I may have mentioned back in the summer how Miss D and I were out walking one sunshiny afternoon on our way to our favourite grassy hill overlooking the ocean. Along this daily walk we always pass the big old yellow house on the corner. This particular afternoon the new family (grandma, mama & young daughter) who had recently moved to our little village were all outside working in the yard and with them their gorgeous, giant, galumphing black & white dog. Missy D & I looked at each other and said "Let's go introduce ourselves to that dog".

His name is Juicy and we love him
and the family ? well, they've become like our family.

I made dog cookies this weekend. So easy and very popular.

candid

Miss D & I both have a big ol' crush on this sweet guy - Juicy - Newfie/Australian cattle dog cross
Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter won't mind.

Dr Seuss

I never start out to be so candid here. I always mean for this to be a visual blog - photos mostly, design, creative stuff but inevitably out comes heart on sleeve gal and the next thing ya know I'm posting photos of myself or sharing inner thoughts and feelings, details of my life and loves, and goodness even photos of me kissing the cowboy. Yikes. I can't seem to help myself and the reason is, I think, it's because that is who I really am.

In live social situations, certainly ones that involve more than one or two people, I might be perceived to be withdrawn, aloof maybe, shy ?? Because goodness knows that's what I'm aiming for. Always in preparation for such an event, a social situation involving more than 2 or 3 people (which thankfully are intentionally rare events in my life) my pep talk to myself always includes don't talk too much just be quiet and listen. Don't be exuberant, don't sparkle, go easy on your enthusiasm, be demure - blend in. Don't stand out. Please.

But ... it's almost impossible for me. Being myself in a live social situation (not a blog which appears initially to be private & solitary) at the time usually feels OK but always upon returning home to the safety and security of this old brick house I feel remorse. A thick layer of self - consciousness & anxiety sticks to me, lingers and makes me feel cross at myself. Why did I laugh and smile and talk so much. I told you, I scold myself, you didn't listen to me and now you suffer.

It began a very long time ago. 8th grade to be exact. I remember the very day, just boom, it seemed I went from bubbly and completely at ease to feeling shy and withdrawn. Suddenly the worst thing that could happen to me would be to draw any attention to myself. It (anxiousness & self consciousness) arrived that day and it's never really left me.

I wonder ... why is it so difficult for us to just be who we really are ?

ps. thanks for all the votes, thoughts & opinions yesterday on the photos of my self