4:30 am

Andy & Inez's home away from home in Harry's back 40

My close friend Harry has a large sprawling property and in the back field (back 40 acres), up on the hill, his parents have placed this little trailer, it's their summer place. They have a little vegetable garden, are growing grapes on a trellis, and have lots of flowers growing everywhere. I went over there this weekend to look after Harry's two dogs Eddy & Annie and the dogs and I spent some time roaming around the big property taking pictures and running in the grass.

It's 4:30 am with coffee ... I couldn't sleep. How can it be the middle of October already. Spent the weekend puttering at this & that and generally feeling overwhelmed. There just are SO many things to do, so many projects, so many chores, not to mention all the work that pays the bills. I'm afraid what often happens is I become so overwhelmed with the choices that I just spin my wheels in place, don't know where to begin, I can't seem to prioritize because everything and nothing feels like a priority. So I usually end up doing some mundane thing that ultimately doesn't matter much and thus really doesn't give me much satisfaction that's the kind of weekend it was and then I wake up at 3:00 am with insomnia thinking "well that was a waste of two whole days" and "what do you have to show for it?". What happened to living in the moment, and what about Vee's suggestion that I make a list only of things that I do accomplish, not the giant ever growing wish list of stuff that needs or should be done. I'm afraid I'm not at all spontaneous either, I take great comfort in being planned out to the hilt instead of adjusting the plan to suit my mood, feelings or even the weather. Sigh.

Well ... I'm up at 4:30, plying my fretting psyche with coffee, I'll have a nice hot bubble bath and wash away those dark annoying middle of the night thoughts and I'll start fresh ... once again. That's the best thing about another new day ... it's new.

ps 9:30 am - while walking on the beach this morning with les chiens and pondering my blah funkalicious state of mind it occurred to me that I should check my biorhythms. And ... sure enough, voila ! both my emotional and physical self are sitting almost off the chart at -100% (yep that's a minus 100%), phew, and thankfully my intellectual self a healthy +96% (can you tell?). There's really something to this ... see for yourself.