time

happy dogs - Jake & Winnie Dixon rolling in the grass

A usual pit stop at the end of the grassy lane that leads to the back shore beach. I lie down in the grass with them, stare up at the clouds and feel like I'm 9 again. It's one of our favourite stops on our afternoon trek.

Lately I seem to be super aware of time, especially of time passing - time passing too quickly, hours and days seem to be rushing by me. I try scheduling myself by the half hour in an attempt at gaining control of, and slowing down the pace, but to no avail. I think of past days when it seemed I spent hours lolling about doing nothing (which is not at all a bad thing) and now it just feels like life is so full that I can't take it all in - easily or without a schedule. There are so many things to do and not ever enough hours in each day - or so it seems. And I'm not just talking about my infamous to-do list productivity stuff (chores & the lot), I'm also talking about reading the Saturday Globe & Mail, or leisurely going through the big stack of new magazines piling up by my bed. I think I'm mostly talking about the extra curricular (so to speak) activities.

I do know that television is a huge time waster and I have become very judicious and selective about the programs that I tape, and I do tape them. The rare occasion I find myself watching something during it's regular scheduled time slot I'm forever pressing the fast forward button on the remote during commercials. I'm so used to zipping though the commercials and thus cutting my viewing time (not to mention my annoyance time) in half. I actually (in my kinda OCD way) study the television guide at the beginning of each week, checking the Discovery Channel and PBS to see if there are shows that I should not miss, shows that I should tape, shows like Race to Mars, Antiques Road Show, Pacific Abyss & the odd Oprah episode or a movie on HBO which I always think I'll watch on the weekend, on a movie night (?). I've thought long and hard about giving up my TV again, I've actually done it two summers in a row a few years back, disconnecting the cable which renders my TV station-less. I'm not ready to do it again ... not just yet anyway.

Maybe life is really all about refinement. Over the years your tastes change, your needs become different, old habits fall by the way side and new ones begin. I think I'm in a big ol' transition period and this is a time in my life that I'm very aware of the choices that I'm making along that road to refininement ... I'm constantly tweaking and adjusting, the subtle small things, in my already near perfect life.


clouds #2