lilliput zinnias - sigh they make my heart sing / Oliver chillaxin' / barnacle love / haven-ating in the lush backyard avec les chiens / long Skype chat with much loved nephew Michael / coral pink begonias / cat circle - Gussie in his pillow topped high rise pad atop the clothes drying rack / more puddle love / queen's anne's lace with fishing boat / walking meditation / I made cabbage rolls with swiss chard from the garden / oh my, those apricot roses again
Don’t Take Anything Personally Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
No. 2 of The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz
Mean people. You know the types I'm talking about, chances are you run into at least one of them almost daily. People who can be rude, critical, sarcastic, grumpy, disrespectful, inconsiderate, hurtful, argumentative ... & sometimes just plain ol' mean. They are my bane. They are my thorn. They hurt me deeply. I let them hurt me deeply. I always take it personally, I don't know how not to ... I can't seem to make myself not take it personally and it drives me crazy.
An incident or an encounter with a mean person can and most often does stick to me like thick, hot, goopy tar. Hours later I will still be replaying the words (or lack of them, those icy cold shoulder events) over and over and over in my head. Ruminating, wondering what could I possibly have done to deserve such treatment ? my initial hurt feelings when whipped up by my mind's frenzy quickly turn to anger & indignation becoming thornier & thornier thoughts.
In my smart brain I do believe it's true that I shouldn't take anything personally & also that I should never ever make assumptions but I cannot for the life of me seem to convince my heart brain of these two realities. My feelings become cut to the quick ... quickly. Oh my (sad face), how do you deal with mean people?
Don’t Make Assumptions Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
No. 3 of The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz
I asked my current spiritual growth guru Gabby Bernstein on Facebook if she could direct me to one of her vlogs (video blogs) or a chapter in one of her books that I could read. Dealing with negative people is a topic everyone struggles with. & bless her she posted this link for me within 30 mins - so great !
ReplyDeletethank you GB
http://gabbyb.tv/vlogging/how-to-handle-negative-comments
No matter how mean or rotten people are, the people who know you (...if only virtually) love you. There are a few mean people in my life that I have no choice to interact with. I try to tell myself -- wow, she must have some deep hurt or sorrow that she has to spread that negativity on others. It's hard not to be hurt, but that's my current approach if it helps :)
ReplyDeleteThank you 1000 Goldens ! & kisses & tail wags to Newton from San & Winnie D. I do try to tell myself a similar story but I am amazed at how my heart doesn't really listen or if it finally does hear & believe that it's not about me - but about them - it's used up so much of my energy. It's definitely one of my biggest challenges - toughening up. Love to you all xo S + Gang
ReplyDeleteLove your photography, per usual, ESP the cat (2nd one down) and that blue of the water is so not right--so gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteSusan, thank you for your lovely comment to A and I on her FB! You know, we're both been your long time admirers and so it means oodles coming form you. I have to chuckle, when I got over to her place and see your
tiny Life" framed print proudly front and centre on her desk. So wild and fun too. It's so awesome to have someone who has the exact same tastes as me. how refreshing and lovely.
Onto the next chapter.... Wishing you all the best too, of course, as usual.
A mean person commenting on someone else, I've learned to view as Goldens wrote: they must hurt a lot or are unsatisfied with themselves. A mean person commenting about me or someone close to me... I'm still learning how to deal with that. You expressed the problem accurately: it sticks like tar, and I replay it.
ReplyDeleteFrom you, Susan, I've learned to find beauty in small things. That is what all the photos you share mean to me. Mean people probably do not yet experience that feeling of beauty so easily, and I feel sorry for them.
honestly Mmm ... my eyes get filled with the best kind of tears thinking about all these years we've all known each other from afar & now the wonderful future of A & Mmm together - a ton of love to both of you xoxo Susan & les gang
ReplyDeleteThere are many mean, rude and inconsiderate people in this world, I often wonder what is their motivation to be unkind. I think it stems from their own inadequacy and their negativity. We all have problems but that is no reason to take out our bad moods on others.
ReplyDeleteYou should not take things to heart dear Susan, to over think the words that are meant to hurt, you must brush them off.
Anyone who visits here to read your wonderful words and see the depth of beauty in your images you share with us surely loves and respects you, I know I do.
Love to you, Dianne
xoxoxo ♡
Mean people... Well that's an interesting topic.. And funny enough or is it the universe that conspired to make me come across your blog? It seems the world are populated with nasty, opportunistic, self centered and pragmatical kind of human being.. suits darwin theory:-) These types of persons have succeeded in eliminating the more optimistic, kind hearted and only motivated to see a better world in whatever way each has chosen to do so. Its like that, some are born to bring sunshine on earth and others to bring doom. Some inspite of all the setbacks, the problems, the worst catastrophe that happened in his or her life have been and still are determined only to see enlightment, others are so full of bitterness about their miserable life that they fill better in crushing others. Its their way of seeing light. Personally when i meet this kind of person, may it be the colleague, the friend, the family, the salesgirl, the business partner, the swindler, a complete stranger that just walk pass you and spat across your feet in the street, i picture TOXIC on his or her forehead. He or she might hurt me as bad, im hurt, i'm outraged and wonder if my daughter will come across same rotten individuals that are energy suckers. But most important i refuse to let "these kind of people" crush down the light that i'm fighting to have for me and my daughter.. We haven't ask to be on this earth,have we? so i think we haven't ask to meet with these kind of people as well. So i tell them bluntly what i think of their behavior.. Calmly, (Well when its with persons near to me, im not so calm, coz its unacceptable when people close to you act mean just to "feel better)without any fear coz for my part this kind of individual must not even exist or step into the ways of person fighting for more important things in life... Its more of a mission that We must let these persons know! Mean people Really are dark hearted and mean people! They are not those kind of persons that would change if you just let them slap the other cheek!oh no!If there could be a way like an eject button, that would have most suited me.. So that's how i deal with "these people".. And i really want to share your blog and give the headlines to it:-) Cheers
ReplyDeleteI think it's just the bane of the society we live in today no matter where we live. Fortunately, I don't run into many these days, but the last time I did was on my birthday year before last at a checkout counter at the local Ulta store. She was an older woman which made her out burst even more shocking. That woman was the most perfect persona of a bitch I have ever seen in my entire life! I still sometimes think about how much that woman upset me and your post made me think about it again! LOL! I truly believe that bad people will pay for their meaness before they die, at their death, or in their next life. It's all about Karma!
ReplyDeleteOn a brighter note. I thought about you and Miss Betty when I read this poem today!
On a Night of Snow
by Elizabeth Coatsworth
Cat, if you go outdoors, you must walk in the snow.
You will come back with little white shoes on your feet,
little white shoes of snow that have heels of sleet.
Stay by the fire, my Cat. Lie still, and do not go.
See how the flames are leaping and hissing low,
I will bring you a saucer of milk like a marguerite,
so white and so smooth, so spherical and so sweet -
stay with me, Cat. Outdoors the wild winds blow.
Outdoors the wild winds blow, Mistress, and dark is the night,
strange voices cry in the trees, intoning strange lore,
and more than cats move, lit by our eyes green light,
on silent feet where the meadow grasses hang hoar -
Mistress, there are portents abroad of magic and might,
and things that are yet to be done. Open the door!
Long winded again!
Thankfully, I live mostly alone and don't get to interact with those sorts often. But, having said that, I do believe I just might be getting meaner in my old age. I hope not, but I wonder...
ReplyDeleteCouldn't help but stop by as I've never met anyone from Nova Scotia and really think it must be an interesting place.
Yeah, its totally crazy, isn't it! I would have never guessed. Wonders never cease. I still have a lot of heartache over my div and why my own was and is so mean herself, but Ive finally learned it's time to let go, esp when it;s already over and has been for years. Love is hard to die but am thankful for someone like Alex who I have grown to love and admire and one in who I am so a likein so many ways. Aw, thanks again.
ReplyDelete