an even keel
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
nautical art is everywhere / early morning in my back yard / close up map of olde town Lunenburg / the houses have so much character / a little snow in the front street side garden / hilly, hilly - my walks are such great exercise / standing in front of "my" house / golden light beauty
Let the wave of memory, the storm of desire,
the fire of emotion pass through you
without affecting your equanimity.
Sri Sathya Sai Baba
I had a bit of a down day yesterday, the sad wagons began circling. One little sad bit floats down & lands on me and quickly I find myself scanning my life for more bits of sad - I can make this hurt, I can make this a big, sad deal. I've been waiting' on you sadness, I've been expecting you'd show up. It's been a month or two of passings - of final goodbyes to much loved dogs & cats. First to my own senior pets BleetNess & Winnie Dixon both nearly 16 years old, then everyone's favourite blogging cat Estorbo (who brought so much joy to so many) also nearly 15 or 16 and finally yesterday I received news that Juicy my dogson was also saying that big goodbye to his people.
More sad news from home, illness & aging is taking it's toll and I feel guilty I've been feeling so OK lately, so happy, so carefree. But I've been practicing being in my own moments, staying on an even keel ... embracing equanimity and it feels good. Really good.
I love the idea of not having opinions about people & events. Opinions are really judgements & attachments and I find I change my mind like the wind anyway. Opinions get me riled up and right and ultimately embarrassed to be so adamant one day and on the fence or regretful the next. I'm letting myself off the hook with this new practice ... trying to be neutral about everything. To be patient about everything & to have faith that life unfolds as it's meant to. Sadness & loss & leaving are a part of life.
You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone.
Posted by Susan