Winnie & me

icy & green

windowsill oregano / crow with blue sky / tea time with Sam & Winnie (and I'm sure Oliver's there on the bed as well) / an icy coastline this early morning / rosemary & the guy (the amazing best cat ever ;-)

a wintry morning

Miss Dixon & out and about on our first really wintry morning of the season

If you look closely at photo No. 5 you'll see Bruce having his breakfast (near the door) and his little house at the far left

grief & comfort

my happy place, my comfort cat - Oliver

There are some griefs so loud
They could bring down the sky,
And there are griefs so still
No one knows how deep they lie,
Endured, never expended.
There are old griefs so proud
They never speak a word
They never can be mended
And these nourish the will
And keep it iron-hard.

Of Grief - May Sarton

Earlier this year near the beginning of the fall my anxiety/worry/sadness affliction got a hold on me. A hold so tight and so frightening feeling I sought out help. My hypervigilant take on the world was once again feeling dark and bleak. Try as I might everywhere I looked I either saw badness or sadness, or if I couldn't quite see it I could imagine it in vivid meticulous detail. A constant steady stream of increasingly painful "what ifs" would swirl around my mind at high speed. What if while driving the car I hit an animal ... a cat or a dog. What if Winnie died ? What if Sam got loose and ran away and we couldn't find him ? What if my neighbours aren't looking after their beautiful cat ? What if Doug got sick and died ? What if while walking the 5 minute walk to the post office I saw something bad, sad, cruel ? I felt desperate and crazy. I felt like I didn't want to leave my home, my protective bubble. I felt afraid. I felt afraid of everything.

Thankfully (& serendipitously) I found the most amazing therapist and nearby. I saw her 4 times. She helped me understand some of the "why" this happens to me (and that No, of course I'm wasn't crazy), she also taught me that at times like this I needed to learn to become my own comfort - I needed to create a world in my own mind that was good & beautiful & kind & safe - that was & always would be - comfort.

Times like today when I look out at the sadness happening in the world I live in, we live in ... when I look at the sadness here in my own village, or the sadness in the lives of some dear friends or when I try to imagine the pain of the shattered parents in Newtown and parents everywhere  ... I feel those same black feelings. How can this be a good world & how will they ever bear this grief, this sadness  ?

I feel so very lucky, I feel grateful.
I feel love & I feel comfort.

o.w.

- 

rose hips - beauty, light & colour

o.w.
yes, I have no spread sheet, 
I have no spread sheet today

Further to my wee whinge of yesterday I thought I'd explain a little about my number one (with a bullet) o.w. (overwhelm situation). As many of you know I have a well stocked etsy shop and I sell my prints, calendars, etc also at two fantastic Nova Scotia retailers Inkwell Modern in Halifax and Dots & Loops in Lunenburg. I do not print my own giclees or calendars. I upload artwork to a server 4 or 5 times a year hoping to purchase/order just the right quantity of any thing and of any particular design and often in many different sizes. I'm considering, when deciding how many of anything to order, both stocking my shops well and also trying whenever possible to get the best quantity discount I can get (smart business gal that I am). I'm always guessing a bit what people might like to purchase & I have no system to keep track of inventory so whenever it's time to get another giclee/calendar order ready - it's much counting by hand and lots of guessing.

I pride myself on packaging my wares beautifully, well 29 Black Street/Susan Black branded & so that they are well protected and will arrive safely & in mint condition. This means I have a shocking number of product/packaging & shipping components that I must also keep an inventory of, and continually re-order. Throw in a Christmas craft fair and I become numbed by cellophane sleeves and backer cards - there is a HUGE lesson here (more on that soon).

Just a few of the product components I attempt to keep track of

- business/product cards (branding, branding, branding)
- 2 sizes of bubble envelopes for shipping
- backer/stiff cards in 3 sizes (5x7, 8x10, 11x14)
- cellophane sleeves in even more sizes
- 5x7 mats for my Lil' Art Cards
- matting tape for assembly of Lil' Art Cards
- white envelopes for Lil' Art Cards
- mailing labels
- gift with purchase bookmark and/or postcard

Excuse me while I go lie down - I hate keeping track of all this stuff, it nearly kills me and takes me three times as long as it should because I am so b-a-d at this type of activity/task - yet I love how my packages look when they are all assembled the way I want them to be assembled. So, shut up and quit whining I guess ?!?

Yes, I have no spread sheet - truth be told I don't even really know what a spread sheet is

no thank you

from the weekend - this first one from Sat. afternoon the buoy gathering boat out in the stillness of our little harbour

what if we just acted like everything was easy?
Mary Anne Radmacher

Goodness. Good Ness. These last many months it would appear that I've go too much of a good thing goin' on ? too many things diverting my attention(s) and too many to-dos to do them all properly, to do them justice, and/or to enjoy doing them. Along with a surprising number of to-do's I find myself wondering And why am I doing this to-do ? Somethings gotta give & soon. I can feel myself slipping into darkness, I know that it's not real darkness - it's the black of overwhelm causing these feelings of panic & upset, causing the tears from nowhere and the sad feelings that creep in. I need to streamline my efforts, I need to learn to say a final goodbye to those feelings of living a life continually in scarcity, those feelings that for so many years have caused me to believe I must say YES to every thing that comes my way - I need to say a big hello to Abundance ! I need to remind myself to breath, I need to be kind to me and patient with myself & I need to learn to say NO to some things.

No thank you ...

the tabby cat in photo No.5 is our feral boy Bruce born in the wild to a feral mother. He feeds at the 29 Black Street front porch diner morning & night and Doug has just made him a heated shelter for the winter ;-)

busy Bee

a garden - another old NEW favourite - a garden 10x8 giclee print available in my etsy shop - Susan Black

The Pugwash Christmas Farmer's Market & Craft Fair was a HUGE success - sold a ton of stuff and had lots of fun & mostly because I had a busy sweet Bee to keep me company, to chat with, to pack up with, to snack on Christmas goodies with + she sold almost all of her wares too. Thanks Sweet Bee !

retrospective introspection

be love 8x10 giclee print of a mixed media collage piece available for sale in my etsy shop - Susan Black 

oh my goodness ! I am still here, intending to blog each and every morning and then I get swept away by each day's giant Let's Get It Done list - truth be told I'm tired, I'm doing many things, much of my day(s), that don't (in any way shape or form) turn my crank. What do I want to be doing ? How do I want to spend my time? It's all food for thought, food for planning + learning from the experience and ya gotta know with 24.5 days left in 2012 I am in big full-on planning mode. Hullo, I love a new day, a new week, a new month ...  as Kathie so sweetly said in the comments a few weeks ago (& still has me laughing when I think of it) Shut The Front Door ! ...it's a brand new shiny year in 24.5 more days.

Oh the goals, oh the dreams & schemes I've got simmerin' and you can be sure that I will spill all those details one day very soon when I get a chance to come up for air. I've got lots of new plans, e-courses & stuff already pencilled into my new hot pink Cavallini day planner (sung by a chorus of angels) yes I did say hot pink, planner & Cavallini in the same sentence.

Between madly pitchin & promotin', filling my two fabulous retailers Inkwell Modern in Halifax and Dots & Loops in Lunenburg with calendars & prints & stuff, advertising on My Owl Barn (Bonjour !) & Elise Blaha's blog, selling my etsy shop stuff, keeping up with inventory and packaging supplies, more pitchin & promotin', post office runs and packaging up my wares (and I do mean MY WARES) for this Saturday's Pugwash Christmas By The Sea Farmer's Market & Craft Fair - be there or be Square !! omgoodness is right. Every giclee print I've ever offered in three sizes, a zillion matted giclee Lil' Art Cards, 2013 owl calendars & my big beautiful Botanica calendars all in one place + I plan on having some fantastic specials. I think my little friend Sweet Bee is manning the table with me (with some of her own wares - hooray).

So ... it's been really interesting to be looking at, one by one, examing closely & packaging (in cellophane with backer board & business cards) giclee prints of practically everything I've ever done. Last night was the big print packaging extravanganza. Methodically & meticulously packaging up hundreds of giclee prints of my art. Normally doing a task such as this one I would divert my intention by listening to an audio CD or watch/listen to some guilty pleasure TV on my computer like America's Next Top Model or favourite soap The Bold & the Beautiful but for some reason last night I decided to work away in silence - several hours of reminiscing over my work, my love, my passion - an introspective retrospective if you will of me & my creative empire, thoughts about where I've been this past year and where I'm headed this brand new shiny year. Tons more good things are waiting just on the horizon !

Scrutinizing all my artwork while packaging it up became the perfect time for a little constructive ponder + critique and the two pieces shown here today feel like favourites to me - they speak to me of the future, my future  ... the art & work that's brewing away inside of me just itchin' to come spilling out - one day very soon I'm hoping.

One last thing. If you're a seeker and a planner in that over zealous, crazed way just like me you have to check out the fantastic workbook and 2013 planner downloads that Susannah Conway is giving away + how to Rock It And it is fantastic & gorgeous graphic design & typography to boot - so important.

Shut The Front Door ;-) & see ya soon !

A tiny life No.7 -  8x10 giclee print of a mixed media collage piece available for sale in my etsy shop - Susan Black

oliver

Handsome, handsome Monsieur Oliver posing in a big patch of sunlight Saturday afternoon - sorry ladies he's spoken for 

I love cats because I enjoy my home;
and little by little, they become its visible soul.
Jean Cocteau

I've shared my home with many cats but Boy Oh Boy ! or should I say Cat, Oh Dear Sweet Cat !
I sure did hit the jackpot with this amazing guy. I'm completely Crazy about him !

hello december

maple leaves & pine needles / kitchen reno avec the dude / mossy rock / lil' art cards / shadows on the beach / sweetBee / oliver & Missy D / lunch & pitch envelope / hydrangea / more kitchen reno / frost / more fall leaves

oh my ... our kitchen makeover/reno is spectacular !