the up side of down

illustrations from Hondo & Fabian by Peter McCarty

The good thing about bad things, the up side of down is that you see and feel the difference. I think there is a good side to my tossing around in the sea of sadness & hurt in my oft hastily built raft because once I've made it across that tumultuous Sea of Badness - somehow the life I left behind, possibly just a few hours or days ago, now seems better, brighter, bigger, softer and I appreciate it with a gratitude so enormous at times I feels as if I'll burst with thanks.

Now agreeably if you talked to me while I was tumbling down the steep side of some rogue wave that had broadsided me and my flimsy craft I might beg to differ. In fact I know I would. Certainly if you spoke to MLou, who knows all too well the person attempting to sail around in that particular choppy ocean you would find her poring over her marine charts and maps, compass in hand, trying desperately to point me to shore. And I thank her always for her constant and unwavering navigational support. The cowboy often misinterprets ... he adds extra lines of dialogue and meaning between my own ... we lose direction and the storm gets worse.

But I am becoming a better sailor. I haven't got the same fear of rough water I once had and now that I'm lolling around once again in my sheltered lagoon I feel more prepared for the next patch of extreme sailing ... I take heart in knowing that I will learn & grow, again& again, from it.

An interesting article on Depression's Upside by Jonah Lehrer (an article which caused a stir).
Of course I'm speaking always from my own perspective, my own experience. If I suffer from depression it's of a low grade variety (anxiety is more my curse) ... I realize that so many slog around in seas of agony never seeing a horizon and always feeling that their life is sinking - deeper. I'm thankful that that hasn't been my experience, I can almost always still see the shore. I don't always have the energy or the desire to paddle, but I'm getting better at finding both.

Bet the drug companies are really pissed by this study.

Pouring rain here this early morning, warmer temperatures and Tramp bubbles.