interpretations + thrills

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

pierre deux wall paper sample found while tidying up les office

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said,
but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant

Robert McCloskey

I've been sitting here at the teak topped desk for 5 mins. Sitting with my second cup of coffee, sitting in the glow of my lovely & monsterous 24 ' imac screen and I realize that I have nothing.

Nothing to say.

Have no fear there's always lots o'chatter going on in that noggin of mine but not a peep of it feels like coming out of my head to land here. It's funny when I began this blog the only people who read it were strangers (meaning I'd never met them) people from far away places. I know, or have been told, that there are people who know me, people who live in this tiny village, people who I might bump into at the grocery store who occasionally read my words and thoughts. I'd much rather have strangers reading ... This new knowledge concerns me and there's no doubt it has changed my voice here, the voice that forever felt liberated, it spilled, gushed out freely with necessity and urgency, now it feels cautious much too much of the time.

Nothing too sad and/or desolate feeling, nothing too anxious or socially reluctant
Nothing to upbeat or exciting ... nothing at all, really ... nothing at all to say ... today

It seems as my spoken word becomes smaller my love of photography and my visual world just becomes bigger. My photos, to me, do speak a thousand words, or more, to me ... and so many of them do make my heart race in such a thrilling way.


  1. it won't last! Tomorrow or the next day, you'll be bursting with things to say. Nice wallpaper in the meantime! x

  2. Hey Lady !! you sound awful darn sure of yourself. x

  3. Ignorance was bliss.

  4. oh Anon ...
    I do believe ignorance
    is "always" bliss

  5. You could make your blog to invited readers only if its bothering you.

  6. I know exactly how you feel. It always surprises me when someone I know says they read something on my blog. It always makes me stop and think for a second. It's definitely easier to write something if you think only strangers are reading. My husband kids me that he has to read my blog to know what's going on in our lives.

  7. thank you Sara for understanding "exactly" what I mean (it seems) maybe it's because we live in such small rural places & tiny villages. Where everyone believes they know everyone. When I began blogging, over 3 years ago, no one read my blog but I had accidentally discovered a perfect way for me to continue keeping a daily journal (a life long habit) and one that could include images. I was instantly obsessed with blogging. Over the years it has been extremely therapeutic for me to write my early morning thoughts as I struggled along through some painful years and it always felt to me like a fairly private forum (as deluded as that may sound). I mean really who's going to keep reading about a woman and her year long grief over her dog, or her battle with loneliness ??

    It's not even so much that I mind "anyone" reading the thoughts and feelings that I share here. Things that I'm sure must seem very personal at times. Reading them is one thing, but forming an opinion based on what's written here would be unfortunate because here is where I think out loud, where I try my thoughts & feelings on for size, where I let them go ... and often I release them.

    What I say here is not who I am

    "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."

    Robert McCloskey

    We do it to each other all the time. We make assumptions, we judge, we form opinions on such a little bit of information. The more I see it happening around me the more I try and make sure that I'm not also doing it. The secret, for me, is not a private blog with invites only it's learning to not care so much what a few may think.

  8. i know how you feel. i definitely have those days. *hugs*

    xo Alison

  9. Your photos make my heart race too. Words, photos, artwork, poetry, music - however you express it, you rock.

  10. you formed a very incorrect opinion regarding my "little bit of info" comment and made a big deal of knowing what I meant and sounding off about it.... ...and I didn't mean it the way you interpreted it AT all.... as a matter of fact, I was trying to diffuse a comment above mine so you wouldn't feel crushed by a critique ...... so.. yup, you definitely are doing it too ..... indeed.... ... it always goes both ways....


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