be longing

Friday, November 22, 2013

itty bitty Betty / berries / crows in fog / that gorgeous apricot-ish Walmart mini rose now planted snug & cozy in the ground / uh… Mr. task master in early this morning / burning bush berries / my girl she loves to rub & roll in frosty grass / miniature worlds curb side / the golden hour aster seed heads

from a favourite blogger Denise Andrade-Kroon @, she took the words right our of my mouth & my heart. Well actually she took the thoughts and spoke them much more eloquently than I could've imagined doing - merci sweet one !
A sense of un-belonging.  
I'm just not sure I belong.  Anywhere.  With any type of community:  Social. Religious. Spiritual. Heartical.  Soul-ful.  My soul is hungry to learn and experience, to understand and seek what speaks to me deeply, what feels like home to the rhythm of my heart but throughout my life I have found that not one way or place or group has ever really felt like a place where I fit in.
I wondered about it tonight.  If its okay to not belong.  If its possible to be at ease with yourself if you never feel you quite fit in anywhere.  Then I looked at the word "belong" and I saw two words "be" and "longing".  
Be-long.  Be-longing.
To be longing.
I realize this is a play on words, but hmmmm.
I always considered to belong was to settle and claim, to be accepted and part of, to be one with and to identify with but perhaps my be-longing is my seeking and my journey, not necessarily my destination.  My be-longing is my search for truth and light and LOVE.  Its a longing so very unique to me and needn't be part of anything.
So perhaps I do belong.  Denise Andrade-Kroon

The thing about my own sense of un-belonging, and I've had it as long as I can remember, I don't really care anymore so much that I don't belong - I care more about the idea that I think I should care that I don't belong. Anne Lamott (new fav person) talks a lot about that feeling of not fitting, of feeling since she was a child of 7 or 8, that surely Martians had dropped her off here on earth, with no users manual and then forgot to come back and pick her up - that same sense of intense un-belonging. I'm not ever sure where I belong though thankfully I am, and always will be - be longing ;-)

Thank you Anne L. & thank you Denise A-K.


  1. We know you belong in our the rose hips, you should make a wreath:
    Tail wags ~moose

  2. and you belong in mine Moose (& Denise)
    no boat a doubter ;-) xoxo Susan
    woofs & tail wags from les Gang

    merci pour les linkage

  3. I think a lot of us feel that we don't belong in most places, families, settings. With truth serum, I think a lot of people would admit they feel that way. That's why peer pressure is so powerful. That's why we have the expression "keeping up with the Jones".


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