the dead of winter

the week of February 10th

from a week in the dead of winter

goodness

hot cocoa avec homemade marshmallows - yummy

When my handsome (and oh so friggin' smart) cowboy emerges from the basement (with Oliver in tow) it's become a ritual, here at Black Street, for us to indulge in fat mugs of hot cocoa at the kitchen island. I use 1% milk, a few tbsp. of cocoa powder, a few more of sweetened Nestle's Quik and a handful of semi sweet chocolate chips. Whisk exuberantly until frothy and steaming and top with a big marshmallow or two (or three).

The Poppies - Sighing - Wow !! please visit and check out tons & tons of fabulous creative talent. Block off a big ol' chunk of time and let's all go surfin'.

This current bedside book - Dog Years by Mark Doty beautifully written and speaks (or pierces) directly into my heart, about dog love. I plan to send Mark a fan email today I'm loving this book so, so much. Reminds me of my own biggest dog love - my big red lug Jake. Miss ya Noodle.

You all know how much I LOVE to cook. Well loving to cook and cooking for someone you love and then having them LOVE the lovingly prepared love that you just cooked ... Well !! What could be better than that ?? Chicken and dumplings from the New Basics cookbook - he who is adored, hasn't had this yummy dish since long ago when he was still a boy and his grandmother made it for him. I LOVE listening to him purring (along with his handycat pal Oliver), across from me at the dining room table, as he enjoys each evenings latest love concoction.

oh yeah ... and HBO's The Gathering Storm (a movie available at our library) - Fantastic !!! loved it ! ... everything about it and especially wonderful to watch this type of movie with my history professor. Who knew Churchill was such a cool, creative and tres lovable guy ??


chicken n' dumplings

oliver

and who's the most handsome cat we know ? you betcha - Oliver

The absolute best cat in the whole wide world !! - no exaggeration.

Not only is he very handsome, extremely soft and always smells a little like fresh laundry. He is also very smart, extremely athletic (a grand parkouring* champion), a fine groomer/cleaner/comforter extraordinaire, of and for his stunning tabby, somewhat feral brother - Mr. Mr. (or Gus). Oliver is tres inquisitive, and an excellent apprentice/helper and world renowned photography and design associate - DA . Recent additions to his resume are the completion of the Black Street Basement Restorative Renovations (which included the cutting apart and removal of the ancient 1000 lb cast iron boiler, insulation of the beautiful 100 year plus stone foundation and the dismantling of the now defunct and obsolete propane hot water heater). In his spare time he enjoys sitting perfectly in good light, hanging out with the dogs (and his new best friend the cowboy) and watching movies every evening. He also has enthusiastically taken on the role of spokescat for the feral (scaredy cat) boys who live mostly in their second floor pied a terre. His favourites foods are vanilla ice cream (premium please) and Whiskas Temptations (any flavour) for which he will happily and unabashedly perform a few circus tricks.

For all you single gal cats who are a wonderin' Ne pas, I'm afraid - his heart is forever stolen. His beautiful betrothed - is a gorgeous, regal tabby avec les Black Nose (who shares his tres inquisitive, sporting & adventerous nature) - the very lovely Miss Millie from Newcastle Upon Tyne.

I'm off now with the sisters to take photos of this morning's winter wonderland - stay tuned.

* warning - head banging most excellent parkour-ing music



a tres dusty amp, some bills, Cat Stevens and an Oh ! So ! handsome tabby cat

piper belle

Miss Piper Belle - 2 year old terrier mix and she's got the waggiest tail ever

PB ! ... PB ! ... PB !
Piper Belle ! ... Piper Belle ! ... Piper Belle !
Sunny Bunny ! ... Sunny Bunny ! ... Sunny Bunny ! ...

Miniature coyote, best girlfriend and little scraggly blond sister of Miss Winnie Dixon & Bess

big love

red, hearts, glitter and tons of big love a Valentine's parcel for moi from that girl

x's & o's ... and tons of them.

She, that MLou, that girl who is the best of friends, la confidante extraordinaire, most excellent coach/therapist/boss gal sent me a box of Valentine's Day goodness. I LOVE red, love, love, love it - perhaps that's why I'm crazy about V Day, that and all those hugs, kisses & hearts. I'm crazy also about sparkly, glittery, tissue-y stuff and she knows it. As I sat at the dinner table last night, about to tuck into a big bowl of chicken n' dumplings* I looked up at my cowboy and noticed a few specks of opalescent glitter sparkling from his handsome tall moustache and I gave him my best ol' big love wink.

Re crocodile tears, sensitivity and being overly emotional - all vintage suitcases I've been carting around for like ever. They feel more like cozy fleece sweaters or maybe favourite undergarments, old and worn and tired but oh so comfy. Best friends in disguise and hard to let go of, so difficult to throw away. But maybe it's time, it's certainly worth a try. Eckhart calls this your painbody, a gentler description of these demons that lurk in all of us is your shadow self. MLou and I chatted about this very thing just yesterday morning. How at times you cast no shadow at all and then at other times your shadow appears monumentally large and looming. Over shadowing everything.

* Delish ! and big ol' satisfied swoons from the cowboy - recipe avec photos to follow


we designer gals, we LOVE postage stamps - like petite posters - how 'bout that darn grizzly ?

fleeting

Oliver & Gus

When we're happy we wish our feelings could remain childlike forever.
When we feel sad, hurt or angry we wonder if those feelings will ever grow up

Unknown

Crocodile tears, too sensitive and too emotional. My feelings, they do exhaust me at times.
I'd like to push them out the door, say to them See ya ! Have a nice trip and don't hurry back please. Learning to understand the difference between a thought and a feeling is the challenge
I must undertake. Breathing and living in the moment because in the moment is where life happens and where thoughts and feelings seem always fleeting. Treading in deep water this early Saturday morning and we're just about to walk around this little village in the crisp winter air.

sunny

the chicelet - the black velvet, always dusty, Nessie Ness sitting in a big patch of winter sunlight

Bleetness - 11 this month. He arrived at Black Street as a wee kitten one dark & stormy night.

A big patch of sunlight in the upstairs tres sunny hallway, the sunniest spot in this old brick house and thus popular for basking and/or lolling about. The cowboy and I are off to town this morning, off to the nearby larger centre to do a few errands and a shop at my favourite big grocery store the super store. Hooray ! I've made a new music CD for our travels, a cowboy Numero. 3 CD - this favourite Sade song is track No. 7 (of 19), and this fabulous, get up off your chair and dance around the room honky tonkin' Randy Travis song is track No. 14.

full

the beautiful brown hound - Miss Bess

Snowshoes, kisses and a setting sun. My heart is filled to the brim.

more hearts

last night's dinner of roasted sweet potato wedges and a big tossed salad with BBQ chicken

The cowboy and I have been following a heart smart eating plan for the past 2 weeks. We've said bye bye (for now) to chocolate mousse and Coquilles Saint Jacques, see ya later to his Tennessee born grandmother's yummy fried chicken with mashed potatoes and pan gravy and so long to Johnsonville bratwurst avec honey mustard on fresh baguettes. All is not lost however 'cause I sure do love to cook, I sure do love a challenge and my desire is that this new and wonderful forever lasts a very, very long time.

I tossed sweet potato wedges with olive oil, dried rosemary and sea salt and roasted them in a 425 oven for 30 mins or so. To our favourite tossed salad (dressed with olive oil and red wine vinegar) I added sliced green olives, corn and a shredded barbecued chicken breast from the BBQ pit at our village grocery store. Absolutely delicious !! and so pretty I just had to take a photo (or two). For dessert - fresh pineapple chunks (the sweetest thing ever) and 1 oz (each) of the very best dark chocolate we can find. Last night's movie presentation - disc 1 of Gandhi (borrowed from the library) sigh.

The dismantling of the wasteful & redundant propane hot water system was a total success -
of course !! Gotta keep my handsome, handiest of all men happy, happy and tres healthy.


and ... he draws diagrams - be freakin' still my thudding, pounding heart

t.i.l x 3

a tres solid and beautiful foundation

trust in love, trust in love, trust in love ... take a very deep breath and repeat as necessary

It seems I've been avoiding love, human love, most of my adult life. Canine love and feline love surrounded me always, covering me like a warm fleece blanket. All other kinds of love I am well practiced at keeping just at arms length away ... from me. If you don't allow love in, you can be fairly sure that you won't feel hurt or disappointment. It became a habit like biting my cuticles - this pushing love away .

Stop ! Arrêt ! That' close enough if you please - an arm's length only and then stop.

First I let MLou in. My friend for over 20 years yet still she stood an arms length away until Jake died and I was so sad I didn't have the strength to push anymore in fact I found myself beginning to pull. I needed her love and I wanted her love. And now this big rich cowboy love... love that came at me out of nowhere. If truth be told once I saw him I did invite his love. I held my breath, I closed my eyes and I allowed myself to be bold and brave. I sent him a card in the mail. And he knocked me over with his love, he drugged me and when I awoke I was in it. Thick and deep. Oh Oh. Now what ? Oh yeah I remember

trust in love, trust in love, trust in love ...

He, the Prince oATG*, is beginning the dismantling of the redundant, expensive and potentially
unsafe propane hot water heating system today. The project that is the culmination of The Basement Restoration and Rejuvenation - a project and a plan which he has, for weeks now, been scheming and pondering and drawing little diagrams for. Yesterday he purchase the plumbing fixtures necessary and they now lay displayed on our kitchen island ... waiting. Oliver is beside himself with excitement to be assisting with this monumental task. That darn cowboy not only do I love him like all get out ... but darned if he isn't the smartest man I've ever known.

And as you know - really, really smart is the new handsome.

* oATG - of All Things Good



the biggest basement fan of all and most excellent spokescat for the feral boys - Bleet & Gus

fear, trust & love

Oliver - the most handsome, gentle, kind, super smart and tres athletic cat we've ever known

fear and trust walk hand in hand

When I saw you
I was afraid to meet you ...
When I met you
I was afraid to kiss you ...
When I kissed you
I was afraid to love you ...
Now that I love you
I'm afraid I'll lose you ....

Anonymous

I've been given everything I've ever wanted so of course I'm cautiously waiting for it to all be taken away from me ... and if I worry enough about it being taken away somehow I will build an imaginary dome of protection around it. It's what I've always done. But I know in my heart I can't do it this time.

Fear ... the boss man of all my troubles. The boss of Sadness & Hurt. Crazy fear, irrational fear (but how does one really determine what's irrational and what's rational), protective fear, sad fear, panicked fear, anticipatory fear. That entire Fear family loves to camp out and party hard and loud in my head with way too many channels to watch and to listen to. The volume always much too loud. Vigilance seems a good friend. Those darn Fears they zip and zoom around so fast often I don't even see them. They sneak up on me. I begin to believe I am them.

But Hey!! HeY! it's a brand new month. Bon Jour February. I can change. I must change.

Don't be afraid
speak your truth*
Have courage
trust in love, trust in love, trust in love, trust in love, trust in love

* think I'll take a rain check on the speakin' my truth 'cause I'm never really quite confident what my darn truth really is