the view along the walkway at the edge of our little harbour
This is where Miss Dixon and I walk sometimes, when we don't hop into the car to head for the beach or the pastures.
So... I wrote this little blurb last night in yesterday's comment section.
It's nearly 7pm my time and still only one dog at 29 Black Street. The retriever mix black boy did not tug at my heart.
Although I came SO close to bringing home a 5 year old Chesapeake Bay retriever/chocolate lab mix named Mac. Very handsome, gentle, calm and 110 lbs. I'm ashamed to say that I signed the papers and had him in the car and when we started to back away I just felt sick ... that "what am I doing" sick anxious feeling. I had to take him back inside and rip up the adoption papers and stand there feeling kind of humiliated and say to the woman I can't do it ...I can't take him home.I'm exhausted, and slightly ashamed of myself. I've called or emailed the women at the shelter and apologized for my erratic behaviour.I feel like I have been, have put myself, through the ringer with this dog question.
This morning there was a kind and very understanding email waiting in my in box from Jo Ann who's responsible for the adoptions at the shelter (who also lost a long time companion dog in January). Everyone's being very patient with me and I feel relieved that my reputation seems still intact. Thank goodness as that's something that's very important to me. I have been involved with this shelter for many years and both Jake & Winnie Dixon came from there. In hind sight, I'm reminded that sometimes lessons learned can be very difficult, especially while you're thick in the learning part. Yesterday's faux pas (that's what I'll call it) was the culmination of weeks and weeks of wondering & questioning ... I think now I can settle a bit, put the dog question on the back burner for awhile, and just enjoy the life I already have.
Thankfully Mac had someone else interested in him and they had filled out an adoption application. He is a beautiful dog, kind and gentle golden eyes and I know he'll find a wonderful home. I am grateful to have met him.
Susan I'm proud of you for having the nerve to take Mac back in when your heart said it wasn't the right thing. At that point a lot of people would have felt they had gone past the point of no return and been unable to do what they felt they should. Good girl. Now you can realax on that front. Have a good day...you and your little crew.
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you, too. If it didn't feel right than of course it wasn't. You are stronger than you think. You will know when it feels right.
ReplyDeleteThis is entirely off the subject; but Susan, are you going to tell us more about your random things swap? I am so curious to know what the 28 things were!
ReplyDeletethank you Anya & Mary D. of course I've continued to ponder the whole experience of yesterday, as sit at my desk and draw cute thumbnails. I do love to over analyze things. I was thinking this morning as I was driving with Winnie to "our spot" for our morning walk that there were only 5 dogs at the shelter yesterday and Mac was the only one who really reminded me of Jake. He looked a bit like Jake. He was big and handsome, he had kind, gentle eyes and he had that same easy going "isn't life is great" personality.
ReplyDeleteIt's still about Jake.
Hi Anya,
ReplyDeleteYes I will post about my swap with pherenikessunshine.blogspot.com maybe this weekend. It was 14 things and we have a list. We mailed 14 things on the 14th day of the month.
That is a beautiful photo of a beautiful view.
ReplyDeleteI usually seem to be the last to hear the news. (Even though technically I should be ahead of everyone!) You made the right decision about Mac, but you know that.
Jamie and I were just talking the other day about how he had visualised a work college who he had only spoken to by phone and emailed, and then when he did meet him, he was really surprised he didn't match his imagined picture! Same with radio personalities.
I did dye my hair dark once!
beautiful ocean view.... wow... so calm.
ReplyDeleteYes..perhaps it is a bit too soon yet to get a new dog... ...
sorry I have been practically absent... Greg is home for a week and he has the ceiling ripped apart in the tv room..re-doing some wiring and cables..and I feel obliged to try to be "helpful" ... reminds me of Red Green.."if the women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy"..only this case it is if the guys don't find me gorgeous..they better at least find me helpful.. or something like that..'course I am still half useless after wrecking my back lifting the tub before Christmas...man..I feel feeble.