yes, no, maybe

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

things I would move #1 - votive candle holders Polaroid

The good news is I found my camera's battery charger. Thank goodness and lesson learned is when finished putting newly charged batteries back in camera put charger in that special battery charger place and be mindful of doing so. Last time I did just toss it somewhere (the story of my life) and then could not remember the tossed place. With careful and repetitive retracing of my steps I eventual thought to look in a paper maché bowl atop the bookcase where I keep the packing tape, (which is not at all where the packing tape should be). I remembered that the bowl had been brought down and placed on the antique school desk (that I bought at a yard sale) that I still don't know what to do with because the desk top is slanted and therefore kind of useless (I'm a girl who loves a flat surface that you can pile stuff on). The paper maché bowl had been sitting precariously on the slanted desk top around the last time I replaced the newly charged batteries. Yesterday I brought the bowl down and in it, along with the packing tape, my battery charger. Voila. Sigh.

I am trying to decide whether or not to adopt another dog. Part of me thinks it would be good for me to have something more to fuss over and be busy with new love (although I do already have 4 cats and 1 dog who all need lots of ongoing TLC) and part of me thinks it might just send me over the edge of feeling overwhelmed. Adopting a dog is a huge long term responsibility, this particular dog is still a baby really at 7 months old. It's all I've been thinking about for days now and honestly I've been circling the entire gamut of possible thoughts and feelings (maybe, Yes, no, definitely No, sure, why not, no way) about it several times a day (and night). The shelter called me about this dog, which I'm always flattered by, they know that any dog that ends up at 29 Black Street would have a pretty good life. He is part retriever, apparently very sweet, and a young male - all on my wish list, if I had a wish list. I can't even decide if I have a wish list.

Anya mentioned in the comment section yesterday that I should just follow my heart. That's what I would normally do, that's what I've always done, but I can't find my heart. My heart I think has crawled away inside some dark cave or tunnel and still doesn't want to come out. So I can't rely on my heart for this decision and if I follow my head. My head says No ! and pretty emphatically. My head these days is all very doom & gloom and overly careful, cautious and even pessimistic. Which is another story.

I have yet to see a photo of this young black retriever boy. Maybe later today. I'm hoping that seeing his face, especially his eyes might coax my heart out of it's hiding place. Otherwise I think it will be a No.

votives shot with my regular camera


  1. Sensible Taoist saying:
    "If in doubt, do nothing."

  2. I agree with H. That being said though, I think you should see the dog first. There is something soulful about a dogs eyes. They melt me everytime.

  3. Hi Mary D, I am going to the shelter tomorrow to meet Mr. young black retriever mix. I know that I can't really decide until I look into those eyes.

  4. I knew that battery charger would show up someplace.... someplace that you "put" it in your travels. Then, you began to move things...and who knows where it got buried.... been there done that for sure!
    Now....I have a beautiful BIG desk on which my computer sits. My camera, case and also the battery charger...all in the top drawer...always!! My camera is sometimes on the kitchen table...but if not....all of them are definitely in the top drawer of my desk. MY new rule for me.

  5. I'm glad you're going to meet this young boy, that will tell you a lot and maybe your heart will come out of hiding. Sometimes when I'm feeling low, I go back and look at the pic you posted of Beatrice, such a sweet face.

  6. Ah Beatrice. I posted her picture twice... such a sweet old doggy soul. The face that could melt the lowest biggest baddest lows. I've decided that being quite a conscious and conscientious person can really be a drag sometimes. Total absence of carefree decision making. Sigh.

    Right now at this very moment in time, 2pm sharp Atlantic, I am feeling 98% sure that the boy is coming home with me ... but ah I also know how many times her (that other gal that lives in my head) mind will change between now & then, then being tomorrow afternoon.

    Maybe you all should get a little betting pool going. Wink & Smile.

  7. OK...I'll put 2 Dove Bars on the dog. ha ha Really, ha ha. Don't think that was encouragement. Actually, h. has a point. I didn't know that Taoist saying. I like it.

    Susan, I'll bet you get a look at your heart again after you see that doctor and perhaps try some anti depressants. They certainly turned my life around a long....long time ago. Still use them. They allow me to be me, you know? I'm sorry you have to wait sooo long for the appointment.

    Big hug.


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