Thursday, May 15, 2008

la beast rouge

My pal Red came home yesterday from the lawn mower repair shop. All tuned up, sharpened, freshly oiled and ready to go. Oh Happy Day ! (thick with sarcasm) My neighbours (all retired I might add) their raison d'etre appearing to be lawn and garden care, have been out daily meticulizing their own grass, the grass that borders my yard ... and I've been feeling the seasonal pressure, the keepin' up with the Jones pressure of living in a village surrounded by lawn fanatics. Lately the sound of a mower starting up nearby has been much like fingernails on a blackboard to me, another reminder that every sunshiny moment my grass, my lawn, was getting longer and longer and me with a mower in the shop and no yard man to be found. *#$%!!*&!!

I kid, I try to make light of the situation ... what other choice do I have. While pushing la beast rouge around my front yard last night, it roaring and spewing and occasionally clunking over some stick or foreign object causing me to jump with a start while dearly hanging onto the handle and power mechanism, heaven forbid it quit on me and I have to restart it, yanking on the start cord my least favourite part (that is least favourite after the actual pushing of the lawn mower around for an hour or more). You know when you've primed it properly by pushing in that funny little rubber button while diligently counting to 8 or 10 as Arnold instructed (lawn mower repair man) and then you yank on the cord - and nothing - and you yank again and nothing - then you yank some more and you feel like a fool out there just yanking for nothin' ... anyway, it occurred to me while I was pushing the loud red thing around my yard ... that maybe I should just let go ...

of the handle ... let the motor die ... lie down in the grass and look up at the blue, blue sky, feel the gentle breeze coming from the harbour ... and just lie there. Stay there. Maybe someone would eventually come and get me, and take me away ... away from all of this responsibility, duty, and chores, away to a sweet historic bed sit somewhere, somewhere with a movie theatre, a library and Chinese food. Just me and my gang of animals, the nest of down & flannel, my big teak topped desk and my new 24" imac ... and I'll spend my days drawing and designing, creating lovely things, cooking and reading and ...

... and I will live happily ever after. Sigh !

A hilarious post A Girl's Guide to Mowing by Brin over at Messing Thrilling Life



  1. Will go check out that blog for the time when i do have a lawn of my own to mow. At the moment my lawn is the size of a kingsize bed and it gets cut in 1.5 minutes by a man with a weedeater (not even a lawn mover).

    What harm is there in grass a little bit shaggy? It looks better that way.

    Sometimes I wonder, when the going gets tough, if I close my eyes, will i open them to find myself in Greece? Far, far away with no responsibilities and nothing but sunshine and freedom. So far it hasn't happened, but you never know.

  2. Susan, you are so funny! I can totally relate...so glad other people are here to cut the grass. It takes WT three hours on a riding mower.

    Love your Snow on the Mountain...I have a lot of it growing around the manor.

    Your posts are always a joy to read.

  3. love your post today! I wouldn't mind a little green. I've got a totally au natural yard. But, I don't miss the work.

  4. Hard to relate to this one.... cuz...I love mowing my grass. (maybe I better duck and run at this point).....I love the smell of new-mown, love the look of tidy and I don't give a damn what I look like out there giving it my best shot. Some days I even kick the mower if it refuses to behave. It usually starts on the next pull.... I wear my short work boots or even my short winter boots..my man gloves...a baseball cap, (my hair is sticking out in all directions and sunglasses hide the fact that I can't be bothered with make up). If I am out there a few hours (spring is several arduous days to get it under control)... I am too dirty and dusty to come in to eat... so I take out a box of crackers and eat yogurt out of the container while wandering around deciding what next.

    Ours used to take over an hour and half...but I dug some out and enlarged my flower garden area... now I have a bit less to mow...but more to dig. I love digging in the garden too... I wonder if any of the retired neighbours would like to mow or pick around in your garden areas? Tell them they are welcome to play in yours as well as their own if they would like to make it more appealing from a neighbour's vantage point...as you are busy still working for a living and have no "puttering" time.

    Or, treat it as exercise... give up dieting and fretting over the extra 20 lbs... make it a weekly outing with Big Red one day and perhaps Mr. Spade another....it only takes a few hours a week once you get it under control. Enjoy all the little birdies, (especially the Finches), the breeze off the blue ocean...whip around there and make it tidy if not manicured. Works for me ...I've already lost 5 lbs. of my obligatory winter pudge that I put on each season of hibernation.

  5. Oh Vee, I do hear you talking ... and you know I have tried to see it all in a different light. Perhaps if my lawn area was such that I could use one of those eco friendly push mower's, no fumes & no loudness, but alas 'tis not the case. Or if I had the rug size bit of lawn that Pherenike mentions above and that Posy gets Cozy has shown on her site ...then how I would fuss and preen and love my perfect wee patch of lawn ... but this lawn and yard is huge far too much pour moi ... however I am so happy (and mildly envious) to hear that it's a job that you enjoy.

    I will continue on my hunt for that elusive yard man ... so that I can listen to the finches and feel the ocean breezes coming in my open office window while seated comfortably at my big beautiful teak topped desk. I'm afraid I'd rather (always) be drawing and working away at my little business ever attempting to increase my financial bottom line.

    I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I just can't (nor want to) do it all. Sigh & smile.

  6. This is so funny and I can relate so much. Funnily enough, I even blogged about this same sort of thing with the lawn about this same time.


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