promise

6pm

The light coming in my studio windows is incredible, the riot of colours from the bouquet of tulips and my ever present, cheery window sill gerberas is explosive against the neutral palette that I've chosen for the room. Deep taupe brown walls, creamy white trim, and deep chocolate black floors.

This is the first week (the 17th week) since the death of my soul mate dog Jake that I have had days and days, it seems, without any aching sadness. I've walked on the beach many times with Miss Dixon by my side and no tears come with us. Of course typing these words will make me cry. When we get to the beach I always talk to him. He was the beach. I say hey Noodle, how ya doin', we miss you. He was the love of my life ... that dog. That big, goofy, handsome and always kind and gentle, big red dog. I sometimes forget that he's gone, for fleeting moments I'll think to myself I wonder what Noodle's up to and I must go find him and tell him how much I love him ... and then I'll remember that he's not here anymore, he's up in the clouds and in my heart. He's filled my heart. It's a relief to feel like I'm finally getting over losing him, that the memories of the end are finally fading. I'm getting over having to make the inescapable decision to end his life, to decide that it was time. To love that much is incredible and ... almost frightening.

I've been really busy with lots of assigned design work which thankfully keeps the busy mind that lives in my head preoccupied. I have many new personal creative projects brewing up there as well. Plus my new blog venture to sell this house, to sell 29 Black Street ... and of course all my many home and garden reno projects (which live in my head and mostly get planned to the most minute detail and ruminated on endlessly and ever so occasionally do actually become realized), and fitting in my favourite things - like cooking and reading and sitting in a chair in the backyard staring endlessly at the birds at the feeders while drinking a big glass of ice tea with lemon, or sloshing around exploring tide pools avec my girl Winn, lying on my back at the end of the grassy lane, beside the big pasture that borders the back shore, staring up at the blue sky and whispering thank you ... my life seems full at the moment. Full of promise.


7pm