daunting & me

oh my, so very lovely & so very magical - paintings by Mati Rose website + shop

Daunting & me are havin' a showdown at the OK corral. Exact date pending. My goal is to banish Daunting & his kin from these lands. Daunting iphoto (with 35,000 images - ya huh ! & I wonder why I don't do a photo calendar or a photo book). Daunting desk top files (4 years of stuff - big s-l-o-w mo eye roll & again). Daunting desk drawers - full of scraps & bits & drawing pens that don't work anymore. Daunting studio/work space just ain't cuttin' it no more - I need fresh. I need sparse. I need space. I need lightness, dark warm grey walls, curtains, order, new habits, new rituals, magic ....

I am so over you Daunting
Look out, get yourself ready ... 'cause here I come

what I love most

Thanks Dave - I needed that (+ pink + dots hooray !)

That my friends 'tis les dilemma in a nut shell.

I've gone from oh my whatever will I do with my time ? (now that Number 1 freelance product design customer retired June 2010 & all my work fizzled said she who had all her eggs in one basket ? ya huh ! I did to oh my whatever should I do next so that I can keep on top of all these great opportunities plus keep working toward all those big, huge dreams & goals I have ? bit by bit, small step by small step all the while enjoying myself, remembering to breath ... but it is true I can't do everything. Darn. Something's ... gotta give.

I don't know what yet 'cause truthfully I'm still uncovering & discovering what it is I want to do. What is the thing(s) that really sets my heart a fire (that I could make a good living at) whispered by the chorus of angels. My heart is a blaze most of the time lately & it's not that I'm spending any time doing anything that I absolutely do not like doing (how lucky is that ?) but I feel there are areas of my creative abilities that have been barely tapped into because of a lack of focused, unfettered time & energy. Just having this conversation now & here makes the fire in my belly roar. I consider the beginning of my new business - this true Creative Empire began June 2010 at best friend MLou's house - she suggested that I give it my all for a year & see if I could make a living by the end of that year. If not I'd need to rethink how I would pay the bills. We're nearing June 2012 & I'm happy to say I am (barely) making that living each month and the trend is up & forward & we're (MLou, Doug & I) all in agreement that following my dreams is the way to go.

I've given myself to June 2012 (the 2 year mark) to figure out much more specifically what those dreams entail - this Hello Soul, Hello Business course with Kelly Rae Roberts & Beth Nicholls continues to be invaluable in helping me ask myself the big questions & figure all this stuff out.

I can do anything !
I can't do everything.
I need to do what I love most.
What is it I love most ?

+ super lovely work from Yellow Button Studio



Yellow Button Studio - Let Her Sleep 8 x 10 print + I Love You to the Moon 8 x 10 print

big, big

archives - early morning's way out on the point - so beautiful yet I never go there anymore

Thinking about walking those beaches, imagining walking in the place where so much of my heart lives still makes me feel weak. It's feels like if I walked there now, even with Winnie, I would somehow be erasing those piles of memories & love that live there, that could live on forever - it's weird I'll admit. Sometimes you just can't go back you must keep moving forward
making new memories in new places while cherishing all the old. I am forever grateful that those days, those walks, that life is documented so completely on this blog - my accidental net of memory & love. of life.

Sometime over the past weekend I know I told myself

You can do anything ! Anything you want to.
So dream big, aim big ... big as can be.

I still believe it's true, though I'm not in that same confident state of mind this morning. Hence the rambling. I do know it is true. I know I tell myself that I can't do lots of things, that I'm not good at lots of things. But it's not true. There are things I don't like or want to do that's different.

I have some very big goals this year. big, big
I promise to share them soon

more mostly muted

more scenes from Miss Winnie Dixon & my recent adventures - she's always with me (heart)

listening : audio books The Night Circus Erin Morgenstern Don't Bite the Hook Pema Chodran
cooking : chili (with ground chicken & lots o' beans) & corny corn bread - Johnny Cake
drinking : artificially flavoured coffee what's up with that ? I'm kinda hooked
eating : fresh strawberries (from a very long way away) + the best gingersnaps
pondering : the re-branding of me (finally) & new 29 Black Street web site launch - April 2
drawing: christmas ornaments (a freelance job) & cat stuff (my own thing)
baking : gearing up to try making my own chewy french style baguettes (recipes anyone ?)
reading : The Grief of Others & A Day in the Life of a Smiling Woman (short stories)
watching : Rachel Zoe Project (on my computer youtube) I die - I'm obsessed with her + LA
catching up : emails & postal packages & snail mail (you know who you are - you waiting ones)
walking : at 1 pm around this little village again with Winnie, Sam, Maggie Sue & Deb

so ... what's on your list ?
happy weekend

step-by-step

1.) final banner illustration 2.) tight version thumbnails 3.) final revised thumbnail

I've been wanting to document my collage illustration process for ages & recently as I was creating the website banner illustration for Erika at Little Bird Night Owl I remembered to take photos along the way. I plan out the steps quite meticulously & methodically in my head first (figuring out all the layers & choosing the various techniques and mediums) and because of all this forethought an illustration like this once finished is almost exactly like the picture both Erika & I created in our heads. hooray !

Materials I've used: heavy water colour paper, acrylic paints, Golden matt medium (much like modge podge), exacto knife, sharp blades & scissors, assorted vintage papers, water proof smudge proof pens, gouache paint, fine brush, black acrylic ink, glue pens for all the little itty bitty pieces that need to be glued (I love me a glue pen !), a cutting mat & table top light table.

I LOVE doing custom freelance work of any kind so please contact me if you'd like me to make something for you. I have reasonable rates, flexible payment plans, & even pro-bono for non-profits & good causes (animal rescue organizations especially welcome). If you have questions about prices, time lines &/or the process please ask me in the comments or email me.

Erika bought one of my Lil' Owl calendars I sell my things at Freedom Clothing Collective in Toronto. She loved my owls & contacted me though my portfolio site (clearly indicated on every page of that calendar - marketing, marketing) & asked me if I'd like to design her banner thinking my style would be a good fit for her vision - a very fun project - thanks Erika !!

that "a" word again

more scenes from an east coast February

Kelly Rae Roberts* on anxiety - I relate - my big issue is worrying that I'm forgetting
something I feel I'm moving at a pace that's way faster than the manufacturer's suggested speed
way faster !

* as far as a creative empire mentor I can't think of a better person - I love how she's documented the highlights & the lows of her creative journey - very encouraging, tres inspiring

have you ?

we heart gemma correll - lots more of her and her Gang here & here & here

A dog, I have always said; is prose
a cat is a poem

Jean Burden

It's official - unadulterated cat lady lives here. So ... have you hugged your cat today ? hmmm ?
& yes (sigh) cat's are allowed on the dining room table (sigh) here at 29 Black Street (sigh)
More scenes from their dreary lives here & here & here and here

oh and a cat after thought - hair - hair of the feline persuasion. I get such a kick from etsy sellers who have boldly stated in their policy section - comes from a smoke & pet free home. I get the smoke free, nothing erks me more than trying to sign out an ashtray smelly book from the library & ending up leaving it behind because I couldn't bear to read it - all cigarett-ey. But pet free ?!? if you have any issues with petness please do not order from the Black Street etsy shop 'cause I can guarantee at least 3 cat hairs with every order (my choice) & look out if I happen to be wielding les packing tape gun when the daily parkour trials are happenin'.
Hairy ? Oui ! Oui !!

pour Oliver - his favourite song