yesterday

scenes from yesterday

Air tinged with Autumn, the bluest sky, an endless flotilla of enormous puffy clouds, the sounds of power boats, the smell of barbecues and fresh cut grass, the sweet bursting taste of a ripe cherry tomato, crisp white sheets and pillowcases flap and float on the line, grilled scallops and shrimp top a gigantic salad for dinner, silly Bleet follows me around the yard meowing wherever I might go, Miss D and I hang out on our grassy hill, I tell her how much I love her over and over again, she never tires of hearing it, the queens annes' lace sways and bends in the breeze coming from the water and the harbour sparkles like diamonds.

I really do live in heaven.

failure

we went to the beach yesterday and sat on a sandbar and bobbed around in warm salt water

If things go wrong,
don't go with them

Roger Babson

I've been struggling. but I guess you know that. Have you seen the movie Up in the Air?

The cowboy keeps reminding me of that movie and that of course it makes sense that I'm feeling sad and depressed because so much of who I believe I am, so much of why I like myself is tied to what I do for a living. And my success at that career. It's like that for most people. Over the 20 plus years that I've been a designer it's the one area of my life where I almost always feel confident. It feeds me in a way I don't know how to feed myself. Now just because I haven't had a paying job in a couple of months doesn't mean that those credentials, those talents and abilities or all those years of experience have disappeared. I know that in my logical brain (which by the way is microscopic) yet there's a place in my heart, in my soul, my emotional self that's been whispering to me - failure.

I'm in a dry spell. In the precarious at best life of the freelance anything it's like that. La feast or famine. Dry spells come and they go. Good times come, sometimes they stay awhile and then they go again. The design director of the company that I've been working with for nearly 9 years, my main gig, retired in April. I was her go to freelance designer gal, she and I had developed a strong and symbiotic relationship. It's up to me now to find and build new relationships with new people. I'm casting my net far and wide. It's all I think about.

It was nice to go the beach for a bit yesterday afternoon. We came home and made sushi -
tuna rolls with fresh yellowfin from the fish truck that parks every Friday in the convenience store parking lot and California rolls, we had cranberry-grape popsicles for dessert and later we watched the first Sex and the City movie (me for the 3rd time, he for the 1st).

worry ducks when purpose flies overhead

C. Astrid Weber

swinging

more floral duos - 6 of 20 pairs submitted to Canadian Art Prints

I continue to submit, apply, introduce and present ... me and my wares to as many potential patrons as I can think of. Anything & everywhere ... many of which are not actual paying gigs, not in the monetary sense but opportunities for challenge and exposure. This early morning, at this very moment I'm feeling satisfied and content with my efforts and I continue to feel optimistic that eventually somethin's gotta stick - as Marie from 66 square feet* reminded me in a recent comment

Just keep on swinging. I figure the more things we take a swing at the higher the chances that we'll connect with the something we're actually aiming for.

I listened to this John Hiatt song while driving yesterday afternoon, driving with the windows all rolled down, a perfect late summer day. It's track #9 from one of the mixed cd's I made for the cowboy way back when ... 16 days in

Oh and ps. in case you've been wondering ... the crazy brown hound Bess has gone to live the life of Riley and twice daily dog park romps in the nations capital. She lives now with Doug's former wife in a previously arranged and mutually agreeable custody deal. Miss D (and her mother) have been vigorously campaigning, for at least one new canine addition to the Black Street family.

* and woomen of the fabulous & tres charming D. Estorboro

yummy x 2

quinoa with vegetables

I'd been wanting to try quinoa for ages ... well it finally happened and I gotta tell ya it is delicious and it's one of those darn super foods. Up there high on the list with salmon, broccoli and blueberries. Super easy to cook and very versatile, it can be made into sweetish things like breakfast cereal or quinoa pudding (second cousin to rice pudding) or as a substitute for rice or pasta in any savoury dish. We ate it the first time as a side dish with barbecued salmon.

Quinoa & vegetables

1 cup quinoa
1 cup water
1 cup no salt added chicken broth

Put water, broth & quinoa into a pot, and bring to a boil. Turn the heat to low and let simmer 12 minutes with the lid on. Remove lid, fluff a bit like you would cooking bulgur or rice. Add whatever extras you like or use plain. My additions -

1 grated carrot
1 cup fresh peas
1 cup corn
3 green onion/scallions finely chopped
handful of chopped chives
12 or so grape tomatoes halved

and oh my goodness cover girls made a magic marker for your lips. uh huh ! sighing

weary

Sadness is almost never anything but a form of fatigue

Andre Gide

After a hot bath, a second cup of coffee and a long walk in the rain and grey with my Missy D first up on la list today - tidy up that messy desk, please.

lately

sweet peas from the terracotta gardens incredibly lovely colours and a heavenly sweet scent

eating raspberries, raw peas from the shell and homemade cranberry grape popsicles
listening to crows, seagulls and finches, and our new neighbours a chipmunk and red squirrel
smelling the tiny bouquet of sweet peas here at CE* central - the teak topped desk
doing sketches, drawing, and more organizing and tidying of les office stuff
hearing the wind rustling the leaves just outside my windows and the boats leaving the harbour
lingering in the lands of bubbles and scent
cooking (steaming just barely) green & yellow beans, carrots & peas from the farmers market
dreaming of adopting another dog and perhaps a September wee holiday on this magical island
drinking iced coffee late in the day so I'll read longer at bedtime before drifting off to lala land
reading Ghost Ship and The Sea Captain's Wife - inspired by this perfect road trip
loving Miss Winnie Dixon more than words can say (and of course that handsome cowboy)
laughing at the antics of Gus & Oliver both of them on serious cute rodent surveillance
hating people who drive too fast, I'd like to throw boulders at their cars - kooky ? I guess
seeing, looking and taking in as much as is possible each and every day

CE - creative empire

two day's a month

some scenes from this morning's early morning walk with best pal Missy Winnie D

Hey there August ! Where did you come from.

I would like to instigate a bimonthly do absolutely nothing day. Nothing with any consequence or obligation. A vacation from responsibilities and/or repercussions. A day to pretend I'm living at the cottage and there's nothing, at all, that ever needs doing. A day to goof off, a day to lay in the sun with a book and a big mason jar filled with ice and tea and slabs of lemon. A day to doze in a chaise under the willow tree's hanging branches, hidden from the world and fall asleep listening to the finches. With Miss D curled up beside me, snoring, the fingers of one hand hang down and twirl her scraggly fur as she sleeps. We sleep touching each other. Or we'll lay in the grass and stare up into the blue, blue sky and watch large perfect clouds glide by like enormous air ships. I'll put my bathing suit on, sunglasses and a big sun hat and I'll bob around in the warm water of the Northumberland Strait. Then we'll stop by the ice cream parlour on my way home and I'll share my cone with Oliver and finally lay on my bed with the breeze blowing in the windows and I'll leave all my cares behind ... for two days a month. Sigh

sweet d

my constant companion, sweet as can be Missy D

she is shaggalicious
and I love her more than words can say

* with a guest appearance from handsome Duck Toller and good friend of Miss D's - Toby