with bated breath

kitten TV

This was one of my better ideas - constant entertainment for my two inside cats Gussie & Oliver They lie here on this pillow topped table pushed up against a window and chatter and stare with big saucer cat eyes and make sudden leaps at the window. It's a scream to watch and they're entertained for hours on end. Even my old gal Lulu occasionally hangs out here. I've built a platform outside the window, where I can scatter seeds or fruit, so the birds are sometimes only inches away, and totally oblivious, to kittens Gus & Oliver (they are a year and a half old but will remain kittens in this house until someone younger comes along - that's how it goes). Those kittens are squealing around, up and down the stairs, doing their high speed kitten thing, as I sit here typing - they're so funny. If you're thinking of getting a kitten get two instead - I guarantee that you won't regret it.

The Noodle (Jake) and I are off to the vet this morning early so this post will be brief as I'll update later this morning, when we get home. A big fear I have, is that they'll suggest exploratory surgery, say on his throat. I'm not sure if it's my paranoid imagination or if it's real but his throat seems swollen, his glands perhaps ? and he does, and has had for sometime- since the summer, a much hoarser bark. He's been so fit, energetic and hungry I didn't pay much attention to the new bark and just would tease him and say that's your new old dog bark when he'd be demanding that the plate of leftover cat food magically levitate off the cats feeding table and float over and down to the floor in front of him. Which he's done already this morning (check). The first on my check list of how is he feeling today, the second of which is, when we first get out of the car when we arrive at our walking destination, does he have a few bites of snow and then flop himself down with a thud, roll over, feet in the air and rub and roll happily in the snow - making a big old doggy snow angel. Sigh.

Where was I ? Oh yeah, no suggestions of exploratory surgery please ? I've heard too many very sad stories of them finding really bad things when they peer inside and then asking you to make the decision of - do you wake them up from surgery or do you say goodbye then & there. I could not handle that. Actually I can't handle any of it or at least that's how it feels. It feels like when that time comes I will surely die of a breaking heart.

But why am I going there, to that place - because I'm frightened

things are fine, things will be fine, he's fine.

Oh, he is so fine. Smile.

1:30 update. Well we're back and I guess it's great news combined with more worry & concern. He had a fantastic appointment with our regular (his whole life) vet, who we love. All was good, good vitals, good prognosis, she was not concerned about his throat swelling as it was general and not specific swelling, he's gained 4lbs since December's poop fest - which is really good. Ongoing gradual weight loss at his age could be the sign of something big & bad. In December he weighed 73, his lowest weight since he was a very young dog ... but his weight is up. I shopped, skipping down aisles wanting to sing, or to grab people by the shoulders and say, my dog's OK, my dog's OK.

We received dancing kisses, and many of them, from Miss Dixon who I'm sure spent the entire time we were gone, on my bed fretting & worrying (she takes after her mother). I unloaded the groceries and then piled those sweeties in the car and off we went for our walk. By the end of our hour long stroll, up and down the country road, I did notice that Jake was slowing down, and he was beginning to show the signs of another one of those abdominal attacks, and by the time we got home you could tell he was in a lot of discomfort and just wanted to get in the house and lie down ... which he's doing now.

Our vet said to treat him like you'd treat a colicky baby when these episodes occur, rub his belly and comfort him and give him lots of TLC. She said that these attacks could be caused by a number of things - from simple digestive problems through to the beginning signs of intestinal cancer although she felt that he was very healthy (and you can be sure I asked every point blank question that I could muster) and assured me that she did not think we were at the beginning of the end .... so, Mama's gonna try and go with that.