alium
Aaaaahhhh ! Saturday, la weekend ...
and yesterday I had wonderful news from the tax man (well in my case the tax woman - Connie my accountant) . Happy huge sigh of relief. The taxes I still owe are a fraction of the enormous figure that my scary mind had conjured up (always an advocate of the worst case scenario mode of thinking). I say one big giant Phew ! As I went to bed last night, knowing full well that I would wake up at some point. Boing ! Eyes wide open, mind a drifting into the stormy sees of fret & worry, I promised myself that with my good tax news I would allow myself one night (at the very minimum) to drift back into the happy calm lagoon of nice and happy thoughts - I would float on my back on the clear turquoise water as warm as a bath, and lie there content in my nest at 2am ... worry free ... for one night ... come on girlfriend you can do it I urged myself. And I did ... although, trust me, it was not easy.
I'm a bit of a worry junkie. Somehow believing that if I worry enough about something I will magically create a dome of protection around said thing. If you buy into the philosophy of The Secret ... it's actually just the opposite ... what you fret & worry about, what you concentrate on is what you actually draw toward you. Eek !
It's an area of my life that definitely needs work ... to learn how to worry pas. Smile.
If you can name one instance...just one...where the worrying itself solved the problem, then consider yourself “allowed to worry”. Putting energy into something that will not be fruitful seems a little "less of use", rather than "full of use", does it not? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, thinking one will get a different result. Isn't worrying insane, when you consider it? One thing I've done when worry keeps me awake, is physically get up and write it down in a note pad (otherwise known as my paper "Think Pad" ~ play on words) and sit it on the shelf in the spare bedroom. I then consider it "filed". I have determined that my worry (when I do worry) stems from the fear that I will forget to take meaningful action on it the next day, and subsequently be faced with the same thought the following evening. Worry can tend to be over things that one feels are “out of their control” and so you need to determine whether or not it is truly out of your control. If it is not, then make a note of it to deal with the issue (even by the smallest step) the following day. If it is out of your control, then consider the issue its own because what can you truly do about it anyway? Don’t forget the “fight or flight” response we innately carry within our brains. Laying there turning the thought over & over in your mind, simply builds up the adreniline and thus perpetutates the worry by chemically wakening your mind & body, rather than allowing it to rest for the time nature intended it to. BE the duck.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing I have resolved working for myself is that I am my own boss. I have no office to go to in the morning, so what if I am awake? I make my own hours. So, I’ve adopted the act of getting up and looking out the bedroom window at the pretty stars or moon or clouds or snow (depending upon the season) and wondering at all the simply miraculous things on this planet and in the universe. Fill your mind with beautiful wonder of your own existence, rather than the “things” we humans have created to our own detriment.
Luv & hugs
V
That IS good news! Cheers to you and your ace tax woman!! :)
ReplyDeleteoh V. yes you make such good sense and I know and believe all of it in the light of day ...but for some reason in the middle of the night when I try to talk myself down, or around or away from this very negative thinking ... I struggle and I somehow most often fail miserably at distracting myself.
ReplyDeleteI think my new tack must be to stay up later and to try and get more physical activity so that I am truly exhausted when I fall asleep.
I do, very much appreciate your thoughts and ideas on this fretting topic. Thank you, xo S.
it is sad that you worried so much about something that ended up not being a problem. but i think that is how it is meant to be. i am not a worrier by nature but every once in a while i do let my self get all worked up about something and it will keep my awake. my solution is to simply get up and go to the artroom. surrounding myself with the paper, chalks and canvasses while immersing myself in the creative process will almost always take my mind off the worry. it can make for a very long day the next day but i at least have accomplished something besides laying awake worrying.
ReplyDeleteThat is indeed a big Phew! Yes!
ReplyDelete