too many bridges

Friday, January 16, 2009


Seven Crows by Alex Colville

A Gathering of Crows
One crow for sorrow,
Two crows for joy,
Three crows for a girl,
Four for a boy,
Five crows for silver,
Six crows for gold,
Seven crows for a secret never to be told.

A painting by Alex Colville. An artist that I grew up knowing about. My grandmother Flo an amazing woman, and an artist herself knew all these guys from her days at Mount Allison. She had framed prints of all of their work hanging in her house. Alex Colville, Lawren Harris Junior, Christopher Pratt. She lived in a house filled to the brim with art and love and she had an incredible influence on me (still does) and of who I've ultimately become. Alex Colville, was like a movie star to me, in my childhood town of Sackville, New Brunswick.

Brrrrrrrr. But I guess I can't really complain as it seems it's cold everywhere. It's way too cold it's the kind of cold that makes me feel sad. I worry and wonder about all the animals wild and otherwise that may be too cold, that aren't properly looked after. I'm hoping & praying that they will all find a warm place to curl up in.

Lots more stuff in my etsy shop. A brand new project, completely out of the blue yesterday, from Chicago big fish company and just when I was beginning to sink into my annual petite hiatus from Customer No Uno (many of the Chinese factories close for a few weeks around this time for Chinese New Year). Honestly this living in the moment and forcing myself (and believe me I struggle with it) to believe that "good things come" is so totally working for me. The other good habit that I'm developing is to only deal with the step or stage of a situation, problem, idea that I'm in. Let me explain - having a penchant for planning (big time) and an inclination to worry and fret because of a misguided idea that somehow doing so will protect me from any possible badness that I can scheme up (and believe me I can come up with a list of 1-99 potential mishaps, drags and outright bad things in a snap). Lets use a big one for an example. Selling my home and moving somewhere (?) else. A thought that when entering my mind causes a wave of nauseousness to instantly sweep over me. So now I scoot that thought out of my head just as quickly as possible and retreat to the step or stage in that gigantic BIG idea that is currently applicable - which is - to work on cleaning out all the excess clutter and stuff and the doody-ing up of this place (painting, cleaning, organizing) so that it will look nice if and when those people come to see it. That's all I need to think about ... right now.

I am crossing only one bridge at a time and always the bridge that's directly in front of me (which is so not my nature) because life has proven over and over to me that the path I'm on may completely change. Just past the next bridge there could be a big ol' detour that sends me down a path that doesn't have a lot of bridges. My nature would be to rent a hypothetical helicopter so that I could get a proper and detailed bird's eye view of every single bridge, obstruction, possible snag, dilemma etc... that potentially could lie ahead and burn the motor out of my little brain worrying and fixing problems that may not ever occur. You get my drift ... what a total waste of time ... and way too angst filled pour moi.

I know MLou's smiling as she reads this. She has helped me so much to get to this place and she continually helps to keep me on track. Love her ... lots.

la la la ... I'm livin' in the moment ... or at least I'm tryin' to.

And hey all you Cancer's out there how's this for a great start to our new year.

11 comments:

  1. " The body is a servant of the
    mind...at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty" ....... from:
    'As A Man Thinketh' by James Allen
    (1949)
    Stay warm sweet Susan....

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  2. Yay! I'm a Cancer too... it's good to know we've got cajones!

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  3. Interesting how Alex Coleville's work looks a lot like Andrew and Jamie Wyeth's. Must be something about that New England/Nova Scotia air. Really like that crow. Good philosophy. Living in the moment. Stress reliever.

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  4. yep..... those "super clanging cojones" is the perfect phrase to stick in your head for this month ..well, actually it could be good for any of us for a lifetime!

    oh, look...more talk of bridges... perfect...it all comes together.


    ooooohhh... and...... I see some interesting developments later in the month....hmmmmmmm..

    I feel guilty. We had a beautiful day yesterday and the rest of the country is in a deep freeze..... and I was happy for all the little birdies and animals..cuz, I, like you, worry about them all when it gets bone chilling cold.

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  5. Good morning, sweet Susan. Got your email and thank you! I'm glad that you will keep visiting. And thank you for the info on Oprah. I plan to check it out tomorrow when I'm home all alone and can think. :) I visited your etsy shop last night and love your new items. I'm going shopping tonight...I'm eyeing your Valentine cards!

    I wish you a beautiful day! xo

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  6. Wow...what a great reminder to me today, Susan. Our issues about selling our homes are so similar and I, like you, get the wave of nausea when I think about selling and moving. Then, the old brain just closes down and I put the whole house thing way back there on the back burner....way back there...and I don't do a thing to forward that plan.

    I need to do what you've suggested and are trying. Just look at the little part I can do right this minute that will eventually allow the big part to happen, WITHOUT any thought for anything but the current moment.

    Awfully good advice from you today! Oh, and a beautiful painting too.

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  7. The simple fact is that change is scary to most of us, and we have incredible imaginations, the two together can be completely paralyzing. It's easy to feel overwhelmed and I think taking things in managable bits is the only way to go. Besides, you can really only cross one bridge at a time. I just have to manage my tendency to douse those bridges in gasoline and light a match...

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  8. P.S. Will miss Andrew Wyeth! Glad he left so much great work behind.

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  9. HI, I SO know what you mean. I think Im becoming better at traveling step by step too. Yay us!

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  10. Did you ever read Anne Lamott's book, "Bird by Bird"? It's one of my all-time favourites, and it sounds like it would be a good read for you right about now. :)

    It's cold here too, but think of it this way: warm = snow, cold = sunshine. That makes it much easier for me to bear! Have a good weekend.

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