losing control

double mock orange - the best scent / more grassy seed pods / gorgeous magenta blossoms (I can never remember the name but Rachel knows) / another I'm not sure of the name but oh my those perfect tiny flowers & elongated citrus yellow green leaves / the bridge from the salt mine road / icelandic poppy / our back garden lushness / bee (& hummingbird) balm / more grasses / maroon leaf begonia / wild grass like pony hair / strawberries & cream & cream & cream

Another sad & shocking revelation ... another hard lesson thunk on the noggin.

There are people & situations in this world, even in my own haven like world, that I cannot control. Say it ain't so Joe - that try as I might, & goodness I kill brain cells with my trying --- I cannot make sense of them nor can I change them. Awwww.

Give up .... someone whispers in the back row.  
Let it go ... a little louder.
Say ... Bye Bye
Walk away ... close your eyes ... don't answer that call.

It's about them ... it's not about you. Lose control - it will feel so good. I promise. Thanks Pema

But ... surely if I think about it/them hard enough I will/can figure out a plan to achieve the outcome I desire. I can/will coddle them, persuade them, bully them, guilt them, plead with their (or it's) humanity ...  to see my point of view because sadly I believe my point of view, extremely well thought out, rationalized to the nth degree, must be the correct point of view.

Control - Perfection's best bud.
Control - arch enemy of Anxiety
Control wears go go boots and Man she can dance 

Here's an example - nothing sends me like a car & driver speeding up & down residential village streets in seeming total oblivion to the fact that many cats, dogs & CHILDREN call these streets home. And I'm talking fast, I'm talkin' way speeding. Hot Rod ! Somewhere in my tired over worked brain I really do believe that some how one by one I can & will !! have control over these people. I can reform them & their thoughtless evil ways. Some of them I'll glare it, some I'll hand my "do you know how many cats live on this street ?" pamplet. Some I'll try sweet talkin' them into slowing down. None of it works. What works instead is it sends my anxiety meter through  the roof. I have no control - that can't be true - I try so hard.

There are people & situations in this world, even in my own haven like world, that I cannot control.
There are people & situations in this world, even in my own haven like world, that I cannot control.
There are people & situations in this world, even in my own haven like world, that I cannot control.

 Sigh - Happy weekend from les Gang at 29 Black Street!