losing control

Friday, July 6, 2012















































double mock orange - the best scent / more grassy seed pods / gorgeous magenta blossoms (I can never remember the name but Rachel knows) / another I'm not sure of the name but oh my those perfect tiny flowers & elongated citrus yellow green leaves / the bridge from the salt mine road / icelandic poppy / our back garden lushness / bee (& hummingbird) balm / more grasses / maroon leaf begonia / wild grass like pony hair / strawberries & cream & cream & cream

Another sad & shocking revelation ... another hard lesson thunk on the noggin.

There are people & situations in this world, even in my own haven like world, that I cannot control. Say it ain't so Joe - that try as I might, & goodness I kill brain cells with my trying --- I cannot make sense of them nor can I change them. Awwww.

Give up .... someone whispers in the back row.  
Let it go ... a little louder.
Say ... Bye Bye
Walk away ... close your eyes ... don't answer that call.

It's about them ... it's not about you. Lose control - it will feel so good. I promise. Thanks Pema

But ... surely if I think about it/them hard enough I will/can figure out a plan to achieve the outcome I desire. I can/will coddle them, persuade them, bully them, guilt them, plead with their (or it's) humanity ...  to see my point of view because sadly I believe my point of view, extremely well thought out, rationalized to the nth degree, must be the correct point of view.

Control - Perfection's best bud.
Control - arch enemy of Anxiety
Control wears go go boots and Man she can dance 

Here's an example - nothing sends me like a car & driver speeding up & down residential village streets in seeming total oblivion to the fact that many cats, dogs & CHILDREN call these streets home. And I'm talking fast, I'm talkin' way speeding. Hot Rod ! Somewhere in my tired over worked brain I really do believe that some how one by one I can & will !! have control over these people. I can reform them & their thoughtless evil ways. Some of them I'll glare it, some I'll hand my "do you know how many cats live on this street ?" pamplet. Some I'll try sweet talkin' them into slowing down. None of it works. What works instead is it sends my anxiety meter through  the roof. I have no control - that can't be true - I try so hard.

There are people & situations in this world, even in my own haven like world, that I cannot control.
There are people & situations in this world, even in my own haven like world, that I cannot control.
There are people & situations in this world, even in my own haven like world, that I cannot control.

 Sigh - Happy weekend from les Gang at 29 Black Street!

10 comments:

  1. My cats stay inside all the time and they're happy this way. They get 2 square meals a day & cold fresh water, the occasional treat munchies and tons of affection. Otherwise, I'd go crazy worrying about them being hit by cars (or killed by other animals). When I see defenseless little critters (cats) wandering the streets, I cringe. Here, in Mont Tremblant, dogs have to be tied or on leash. This is how I control my situation.

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  2. Also, have a great weekend Susan! Your meals look so delicious!!!

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  3. My 2 youngest cats Oliver & Virgil stay inside & bless him senior, tres chunky BleetNess doesn't really leave the yard. There are many abandoned cats in our village (in every village, town & city) & thankfully most dogs are on leash.

    What are people thinking driving 80 clicks in a residential neighbourhood. I wish I had a bazooka.

    Thanks Claire

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  4. I am at times a hopeless speller . Pardon !

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  5. That first picture made my heart skip a beat, it is so beautiful!
    Sorry for your dilemma!!! I feel the same over the idiot down the street who allows his 7 yr old daughter to ride her bicycle in the street without wearing her helmet, even though there is a helmet law here! GRRRR! I pray she never falls and splatters her brains all over the road!!!

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  6. We have several cats and only one is permitted to go outside. Why ? Because he pees in the damn house !!!
    We tried everything. I don't like him going outside but the alternative was to put him down.

    The other day some guy went gunning it down our (dead end) street. On the way back by I made what I thought was a "slow down" gesture. I kinda waved one hand up and down and smiled in a non-threatening way. He smiled back and waved -- he thought I was saying "hello"

    sigh ...

    I try to comfort myself with the thought that there are probably things that I do (heaven forbid!) that piss off other people and I don't even know. ;-)

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  7. Hi dear Susan. Let me first say what beautiful photos...
    ... before moving on to say that you really shouldn't have to go through the stress of others bad driving behaviours. This sort of thing is taken very seriously in Australia to give citizens peace of mind. We have "anti-hoon" legislation,introduced in Western Australia in 2004 with other states following suit.
    "Hoon" is a legally recognized but derogartory term used in Australia and New Zealand to refer to anyone who drives a car and boat in a manner which is anti-social: that is fast, noisily and dangerously.
    I checked the legislation before posting this and of course, on some sites there are Australian hoons bemoaning their fate. One wrote
    "I just hope if I get married whover does the wedding burnouts doesn't lose their car". *sigh*
    Hoonish speeding in a residential street should not have be tolerated by you or others.Too stressful.

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  8. Were these shot with your new camera?

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  9. Happy belated birthday, Susan! Hope you had a wonderful day.

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  10. Yes! Finally something about aa.

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