growth & expectations

inspired by Queen Anne's Lace - a prolific wild flower in these parts - drawing with ink & Chinese Sumi* brushes


All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous, 
unpremeditated act without benefit of experience.
Henry Miller

Thank you all for the lovely & tres supportive comments from yesterday's post.

I'm sure it is my own confused (& historic) attachments, expectations and opinions of this place, this blog of mine that's causing me such disconcerting thoughts. Words will not, cannot, ever explain what it is 29 Black Street has meant to me over the 5+ years I've been posting here & most often daily posting. In many ways it feels like it is me. This place, these words and images that live here in the archives mean so much to me I'm afraid to let go of them. And by letting go I mean acknowledging that I am not that same person any more. I've changed and grown in leaps and bounds. Much is the same in my tiny life and my world but now it's all bigger, better, sounder, healthier, saner, happier ... and keeping this daily journal for all those years definitely brought me here to this new place. My attachment to what this blog is and has been over the years is enormous. It's like saying goodbye to a best friend. It's not unlike when I said goodbye to Sadness & Ache - even though they weighed me down, they comforted me also - I wondered who I could possibly without them - and we know the answer to that one ... don't we ?

And when I say goodbye I don't even really mean goodbye ... because 29 Black Street isn't going anywhere. I'm saying goodbye to the attachment and to the expectation of who & what this place is and has been. I'm truly astounded daily how rapidly and thoroughly life and my part(s) in it is constantly evolving, growing & changing. It's kind of crazy to have any expectations at all because just when you become certain about something ... life changes again.

The secret really is - showing up as big & bold & brave as can be each day moment and accepting with love what shows up. Thank you for reminding me of that with your comments ;-)

*A note on Sumi brushes - an amazing tool to force you to loosen up and be free with your drawing