snug

autumn collections No.2 brown and No. 1

I do feel a little less sad today. It really does help to talk about it here on my blog. As soon as I've posted I feel better. I feel a big release. Phew ! that's off my chest. This has become my community and it's so good to talk things out and I do appreciate hearing how you feel about sadness, how you deal with it and that it does affects you too. That you understand and can relate. Heidi at Emergence Journey left a comment very early in the day that made me feel very OK about speaking the truth. My truth. It's so hard for me not to - remember heart-on-sleeve girl lives here (camped out most of the time under a dark cloud).

I talked to MLou yesterday and she reminded me (again) of how much time I spend alone, just me and my thoughts here at the teak topped desk day after day. A drawback, you could say, of being self employed (my co-workers don't talk much, although they do give me loads of comfort in their silent fashion). And oh the trips and wild adventures those thoughts can, and do, go on. Left by themselves, no supervision, no discussion or alternate opinions, suggestions, or other perspectives they often go wild - those thoughts. Or just participating in the banal everyday office chit chat that can take the sharp edge of Sadness - a great recipe tried the night before for supper, a funny incident or a joke. I know you know what I'm talking about. Sadness is very familiar to me, it's much like an old friend. An emotion that I'm strangely comforted by because I do know it so well. It just seems to love hangin' out with me and I'll admit there are many times I do encourage it. Come on in, sit down ... I'll put the kettle on.

Windy, cool, and rain in the forecast today. Lots of paying work on the teak topped desk. A busy drawing day today. A perfect snug and cozy day ahead of me ensconced in my little second floor studio, a shaggy black dog sleeping on her bed at my feet and a soft calico cat staring at me through half closed eyes. Sigh. After a bath with lavender and bubbles and a long windy walk on sandbars with fleece mittens and headband with my best girl Winnie Dixon.

I taped Oprah and watched it last night with my dinner and saw an amazing interview with Jill Bolte Taylor a brain scientist who at 37 suffered a massive stroke and has since written a book about her experience and from a brain scientist's perspective - My Stroke of Insight. Totally fascinating. I immediately ordered the book from my library and I will spend part of today, while drawing here at the teak topped desk, listening to her 4 part interview with Oprah on Oprah's Soul Series. You can also watch these interviews - scroll down and click on download.