ice in the harbour
Yesterday afternoon I ran into a woman who I consider to be a fairly good friend. I ran into her in the parking lot of the hardware store which is beside our one and only bustling seasonal cafe and all round meeting place. She was telling me all about the cafe's open house Christmas party ... the social event of the season, the one the cowboy and I had intended to make our social debut at ... but we didn't. I changed my mind at the last minute. Psychic perhaps. He, of course, was easy either way, he let it be my call whether we attended or not and for some reason at the very last moment I decided I didn't want to go.
This friend yesterday told me all about the conversations that were had that night about me and all about the cowboy. Incredibly personal tidbits spoken that night all gleaned from gossip and innuendo. You know that friend of a friend told me information that people gather. Authentic or not - it's always worth repeating, it's small town (or in this case village) gossip. As she proceeded to give me intimate details of what what said that night about me, about him and ultimately about us I felt sick to my stomach and I felt like I wanted to cry ... and told her so.
I thought about this casual chat in the parking lot all night last night attempting to figure out what exactly about it made me feel so terrible. I dissected my feelings (as I so love to do), I peered at the little bits of information she had revealed to me, and the cowboy and I discussed the whole thing, after dinner, at great length. This morning as I sit here at dawn I realize that what I feel is overwhelmingly disappointed - in people. My expectations are way too lofty I realize and the reality of it all has left me feeling sad ... that and my ears feel burning and hot.
a pm ps - when things like this show up in your life perhaps it's just the Universe shooting spit balls at us (through an empty Bic pen of course) and reminding us of the ways we do not want to be in the world. So for that little gift ... I'll say Merci M. Universe
Poor you.Sadly,people who have nothing better to do and no lives of their own will act like this. Don't let their pettiness hamper your happiness.
ReplyDeleteSusan, gossip happens; even the kindest people love it. Assume it happens, and don't dwell on it. But what shouldn't have happened to you was that a so-called friend took the time to tell you about it, and I'll bet she embroidered it, or reported it in a more titillating way. She shouldn't have said anything, and I hope you won't give her another opportunity to spread her mean-spiritedness all over you again.
ReplyDeleteYou know from your blog that your new-found relationship and all the happiness that has come from it has delighted and interested people - it's very likely that many folk in your little village feel the same way.
You know what's really happening in your life. That's what matters.
Warmest wishes to you and your happy household.
Don't feel sad....to many thing to do out there in the world!
ReplyDeleteTail Wags to All.
~Moose
Susan, you want I should come up and go all Sarah Conner on them?
ReplyDeletePeople talk, people always talk. But as long as you treat people the way you want to be treated then their words will turn into petty little cockroaches scurrying from the light. Karma will prevail. Your love is way too big to be bothered by petty busybodies. Or boiler repairmen suddenly but out of business by The Handy Cowboy.
I say ditto to the comments of all. Big Shammu really made me smile. I am sorry for your sadness and pain. Let it go as soon as you are able. 8-)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Rachel. I have never understood how some people get their jollies by hurting others. Don't be sad...those people are just jealous and insecure.
ReplyDeleteWhen you have friends like Big Shamu you don't have to worry yourself with the grocery store chit chatters. (BS I had to look up Sarah Conner to find out what kind of world of hurt you were bringing)
ReplyDeleteI know it burns but remember, it's Mind over Matter...if you don't Mind, it doesn't Matter.
Your heart knows the way Ms Black, your heart knows the way.
xo
Susan, we have met once in our village. I have the utmost respect for your blog and the fact you put it out here for all to see, and feel. The gossip mongers are everywhere. It takes a true person to post like you do, and take a risk, your upfront and honest. Wouldnt it be wonderful if the gossip mongers could be so honest. I say to you susan and "cowboy", you go girl! To the gossip mongers, stop being so envious of susans happiness, get your own! A good friend, would not have brought that up, as it is a friend, who stands by their friend and tells people "politely" to stop!
ReplyDeleteThey are probably people who are in crusty, lifeless relationships and are jealous that two KIND people received the gift of genuine love. All of us in blog land celebrate you and the cowboy.
ReplyDeleteHey ! Thanks for all the great and always supportive comments. By getting this particular disappointment out there, off of me and in words early this morning I do think I left it behind in the dust.
ReplyDeleteSusan...I agree. These people are incredibly mean, but mainly jealous. They are so miserably bored that they have to use sweet people as fodder to stoke their vicious furnaces of evil. "The tongue is set on fire of hell." They are not worth pity. In fact, they have revealed themselves to each other,now, so that none can trust the others. They will all be wondering: "What is being said about ME?" I am so glad you didn't go to the party.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I do agree that the most mean-spirited one is the person who took such joy in repeating it to you. She really couldn't wait, could she? (But I am glad you found out, so that you won't subject yourself to their kind again.)
My stomach hurts just thinking about it. Grab the CB, go up to every door...and deliver a small gift. Say, "We just wanted to share a little of our big, amazing love." Pour it on...look them straight in the eye, and say, "Now what was your name?"
Oh, I am soooo mad. I wish I lived there. But, then again, it is probably best that I don't know who they are....typical self-righteous .... I am at a loss for words.
Why to people love to gossip? Why do others love to feed into it!
ReplyDeleteBenny & Lily
You are right!! The sordidness of the whole thing makes me want to strike back...but that would give them something to talk about. Why do some people LIKE to HURT and Cut DOWN? How can they sleep at night? Are any of them on your blog? I guess you could change your password requirements or whatever, in order to block them. We will all change whatever we have to......
ReplyDeleteTo all the villagers who feasted on your joy the night of the party, I say only: " for God's sake: get a LIFE people!" And to you and the Cowboy, I continue to say: "Godspeed"!
ReplyDeleteChin up! Erased from your thoughts is where this belongs!
Ahhh people....they are so predictable, aren't they? Especially in small towns because everybody knows everybody else's business...or think they do... and there is nothing better to do than gossip. Most people don't really have a life.... so they live vicariously and even they embellish to make it more interesting in the telling...
ReplyDeleteGreg and I usually read your morning post together... or I read it to him... today he just said... well, who cares what anybody else thinks or says? she knows how happy she is and that this is the best thing that has happened to her in a long time .... and really? ....what the hell else matters? And, then we both looked at each other and said "YEH"... and laughed; because we've been through it all... toxic family members in our case.... and our wonderful revenge is our secure happiness in our own little world. Far from their bitterness and gossip.
Know this so well Susan. It's the disappointment in other people, after tentative forays out to socialize.I've often thought this kind of disclosure from small country town people is a double-edged sword. You wish you hadn't been told, but then you're grateful to know what's happening and not be kept in the dark.The experience I had (after we were the "newbies" in a country town) was returning quickly to the introductory barbeque to pick up something I'd left behind. While out of view in the dark, I was witness to the spotlighted big group analysing and disecting my husband's conversations and character. They didn't know him at all.We have a 26 year history of happiness and that's all that matters. Remember, love, happiness, anything else is phttt!Don't let this get to you.Lovely people feel delight,warmth and huge hugs towards you.
ReplyDeletebig people speak of world affairs, the meaning of life or why the sky is blue. small people talk about other people, often in mean-spirited and hurtful ways. those words are straight out of my grandma j's mouth and i've tried to live my life by their wisdom. don't let anyone ruin the good thing you have going in your life, susan!
ReplyDelete((hugs))to les gang from me, bella and zoe!
Let the talk roll off your feathers like raindrops. Never ever pay it any mind.
ReplyDeleteGlad you felt better after writing it out... wishing you peace... surrounding you and your cowboy with all the space you want to live your love.
ReplyDeletewhat is so funny here of course, is that all they have to do is find your blog and they can hear from the horses mouth so speak, more than they could get from innuendo. does that ever strike you as odd? i know I think that sometimes about my own blog.
ReplyDeleteSusan
ReplyDeleteThere's a Buddhist saying that I love and seems quite appropriate to mention - "What other people think of me is non of my business"
Food for thought...
Penny
It can be upsetting when people talk about you behind your back. Sadly too many people lack understanding, compassion and are too quick to judge. I bet they're all jealous of you! I signed up to follow you. Stop by my place and return the favor is you so choose. http://www.boomerpie.com/
ReplyDelete