ya know Missy Dee (d, d), she's got cheeks of sweetness. Love her
the hurt you embrace becomes joy
Rumi
I am happy. I feel loved. I feel joy, bliss, contentment, excitement, enthusiasm, zeal, vim, vigour.
I feel lucky, grateful, blessed, safe, secure, cozy.
And a tiny part of me always feels a little sad. It's like a small niggling feeling, like a butterfly or moth fluttering inside me, barely taking up any space but always threatening to bloom into something big and potentially overwhelming. It's like sadness has a small, well kept apartment in my heart and she has been living there comfortably ... forever. I've always felt bad about this sadness, I've always felt that an ongoing goal in my life should be to evict her, get rid of her - once and for all. Be gone sadness ! But in recent days (weeks, months) I'm beginning to realize that instead of trying to make her go away I need instead to get to know her. I think I'll invite her in for tea and I'll befriend her ... because she is a part of me.
yes yes yes! invite her for tea and get to know her. its the fighting that kills. i think the edge of melancholy makes life sweeter...this doesnt mean give into sadness and crown her queen of your heart it just means giving her the nod of acknowledgement when you enter the court of life.
ReplyDeletei think this she is what informs you beautiful photography. there is a sense of temporality to them...and of course this is true.
thanks for your story on the spider.
love to all the animals and of course, the CB.
oh! forgot. have you seen the "illustrated Rumi"? is a beautiful book. did you know the finest english translator of Rumi lives here in Jawja? yep. at Univ. of Ga in Athens.
have a good weekend susan!
Did you see the scene in "Star Wars" when Obi Wan can sense the fact that a world was just destroyed? He could "feel" all the souls crying out. It may sound crazy, but I think there are so many reasons in the world to feel sadness, and some of us just have an unconscious sense of it. Even if we are not consciously aware of these things and they do not touch us personally, we still "feel" it somewhere in our being.
ReplyDeleteI remember one Christmas season, I cried when I saw all the pretty little lighted up deer decorations with ribbons around their necks in people's yards... because I thought of all the real deer that people go out and kill for sport. I told my doctor about this and I know he didn't know what to make of it. I think some of us just carry these things around in our hearts.
Your dog is adorable.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I too deal with sadness, usually it talks to me for a bit but I continue on. The day is too nice to miss. (as I get older, the world and all it throws at me, can get to me, only I am winning and you can too)
I love these pictures of Winnie and I just now noticed the picture of Piper Belle in the side bar. My heart aches for your little pack. As I read the other comments I have to agree with what they say. Sadness, in some form, is just part of life, and mostly, it is there every single day. I acknowledge it and move on. There are so many blessings to embrace, so much joy to feel. My dear aunt once told me that you had to experience the valleys in order to celebrate the mountain tops.
ReplyDeleteHi Susan,
ReplyDeleteYour blog has become my delightful, little secret. I get my son to school, my husband off to work, pour myself a big fresh cup of coffee and head upstairs to my office and the first thing I do is read your blog. I am a designer on the Westcoast and am often alone at the computer for most of the day. I don't feel so lonely when I know you are over there (3 hours ahead of me) doing almost what I am doing and thinking thoughts that I think (or over-think daily) You, thank goodness have the courage to write them out loud. I think the sensitivity you have and feel has a lot to do with the creative spirit. Just know you are very like many of us out here and we simply appreciate your candidness and, of course, your heart! You are scared to be happy because you think if you totally let yourself give in to that happiness, that's when things will fall apart. You feel that bad stuff happens when you least expect it, so you'd better ALWAYS expect it, that way it won't be SO bad or SO unexpected, I think we just have to try to be as happy as we can because stuff happens (good and bad and always unexpected) Fate zigs when we zag, despite our trying to control it.
the lilacs are out and the swallows are passing by us in droves, hmm, must be spring. TB
I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT ACCEPTING SADNESS...HOLDING IT IN YOUR HAND...AND COUNTING IT JOY WHEN YOU EXPERIENCE IT. COULD THE SADNESS POSSIBLY BE FEAR? WALKING INTO IT AND LEARNING HOW TO "FEEL" IT (NOT RUNNING FROM IT, AND GOING THROUGH IT, NOT AROUND IT) CAN MAKE IT YOUR FRIEND. SADNESS WILL SOMEDAY ALL BE TURNED TO GLADNESS.
ReplyDeleteIs it wrong that I want to take a little vasoline and make little twisty spikes of Missy D's beard and eyebrow hairs?
ReplyDeleteLook, you can invite sadness in for some tea now and again but dude, have her go live in the garden shed. She'll be fine out there. Let happiness live in the home where she belongs.
Let's invite her in for tea together! I think I get what you're saying. My life seems to be a bit better in many ways. I have more better days of joy and bliss than not...but I am still too afraid to let my "guard" down at this point and time. Too many unknowns yet and if I think about it too long, it scares me. Ugh!
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you and the furry gang. I LOVE the photos. :)