angst & fuss

1. + 3. Iris Schwarz 2. + 5. Tush Tush and 4. Diana Fayt

or gee, I wish I painted that

No sunshine yet this early morning, a pale lavender stripe sits heavy along the horizon of dark & grey dormant trees on the other side of the harbour. The harbour itself perfectly flat and pure snow covered white and the rest a mix of palest blue, white and greys. Maybe I should be painting winter.

I'm a little obsessed with portraits lately, not that I have any aspirations to paint faces, shoulders and/or bodies but I'd love to fill a dark painted wall in this old brick house completely with a weird mish mash of portraits, mostly faces framed in a collection of odds & sods kinds of frames. A weird new obsession that's arrived out of nowhere a pleasant reminder that you never really know who you really are and that we, our character, is constantly in flux and that knowledge in itself is a really good thing and fills me with hope & petite happiness.

I say petite happiness because les battle continues, the uphill, slow as chilled molasses battle to acquire a pay cheque again. There's been a virtual flurry of positive response(s) from potential payers, lots of work produced, sent through the ether, phone calls, very positive chats, more direction, new ideas, more drawing, patiently playing the waiting game, more work, ideas, research, thumbnails, angst + fuss, and lots of self inflicted rah rahs & pep talks. Up, down, down, sideways, up a little, down again.

And in the midst of all of this I've decided I'd like to learn how to paint. Another knife to my confident heart You silly crazy you ! I have not a clue what I'm up to ... Get Your Paint On ! appears to be a fabulous & wonderful e-course with the dynamic duo of Mati Rose & Lisa Congdon leading us on. I am thrilled that I did actually sign up. I don't know or understand how to use paint at all and my biggest issue is indecision. What to paint ? how to paint ? what's my subject ? my composition ? Am I trying to say something ? If so what ? how to paint that message? Sigh. So much more angst + fuss. Lisa did remind us in the intro Hello + Welcome video that we mustn't expect to learn how to paint in a 5 week course. Phew !