grief, guilt & ...
Sunday, December 7, 2014
oh ... how I miss her. I miss you sweet Miss D. I love you forever xoxo Susan
Everyone grieves in different ways. For some, it could take longer or shorter. I do know it never disappears. An ember still smolders inside me. Most days, I don’t notice it, but, out of the blue, it’ll flare to life. Maria V. Snyder
grief, guilt & google.
Oh my, thank goodness for Google - my search words last evening were "guilt euthanasia senior dog".
I was searching for comfort, for a virtual hug, I needed someone, anyone, to remind me that these feeling of guilt, grief and way too many "what ifs" are all expected. 6 weeks ago tomorrow I said goodbye to my best friend of nearly 15 years. Winnie was with me pretty much 24/7 for 13 of those years. I miss her so much ... I feel like a part of me is gone. I believe choosing the time to euthanize a much loved pet, no matter how kind & caring that decision may seem at the time, is the hardest decision I'll ever make. I've made that decision 8 times in less than 8 years. Part of my brain reassures me that I felt these very same feelings of grief, guilt, regret & doubt almost every time. The only time I didn't feel it were the times I knew in my heart I had waited too long and my pet was suffering, needlessly. Selfishly.
my Google search found me this blog and this post ... an excerpt below.
Thank you Google & thank you Patricia McConnell for the hugs ... & for the comfort.
Posted by Susan