Wednesday, February 6, 2008

senior retriever stick fetching in deep water trials - his reason d'etre

My boy came home in a small wooden box with a latch yesterday. Inside, grey ashes in a zip lock bag, labeled Jake. It looks like cement. It's weird, it's strange and I can't decide if it gives me any comfort. I guess it must. I did place the box beside me as I worked at my desk yesterday and wrapped the box in the same scarf that was with him his last day, the scarf that still smells of me, the scarf I love, now even more. I did touch the box many times throughout the day, and I kissed the box goodnight and told it, him, that I love you and I miss you so much.

The box is plain, unfinished, cheap wood, and the sides and front have recessed panels. I won't be sprinkling him in the air at the beach, his most loved destination. And I have no plans to bury him in the shaded back garden near Em & Ernst. I need him with me, I do know that. I don't think I'm an urn kind of girl. I think instead I'll paint the box glossy black, decoupage images of him in the recessed panels and change the cheap latch to something silver coloured.

I have a beautiful long lock (like a small tail) of both his & Em's red & pale golden ringlets that I kept in the inside breast pocket of my coat my last trip to Paris. They stayed in a kennel (with Miss Dixon) while I was away and I missed them terribly. Having that lock of hair with me as I happily strolled the narrow streets of Gay Paris with best friend MLou, so far from home and so far from them, was a comfort. Winnies's hair too short to add to this tail of retriever fur tied up with a ribbon ... but of course I missed her too.

I'll add this lock of soft beautiful fur to the box and I'll place the box in a spot by my bed, along with the photos of Emma Jane and Flo. And maybe then it won't seem so weird.

Jake, sleeping on my bed where he belongs


  1. What a sweet face! What you are planning on doing with the box sounds very nice. I'm glad it is a comfort to you.

    Mary D

  2. Susan, Your idea is a good one. Then, you create a loving shrine to Jake and all the pups, really. And that can be comforting. I have a shrine on a little shelf to all my gone pups, with a lock of hair here, a half chewed bone there and a silver crown glued to one of the pretty frames that has Mutz's picture in it. I always told him he was a prince, so the crown was fitting. I stop by to look at this group of pictures and items every day; and now, for the most part, I smile and remember the good times with them. God, I loved those dogs.
    ps...I came home from town with orange tulips yesterday, too. Tulips are the best.

  3. It's not weird at all. Lots of folks keep ashes; pets, spouses, loved ones... just do whatever seems right at the time. If, later, you change your mind...go with that too. Different strokes for different folks. We make our own choices, and you know what? who cares who thinks what.

    just want to say...I don't see any pics Susan... must be taken from a page that no longer exists or something?

    We are chinooking here... gusty and warm..up to the ++ numbers... but...back to -27C by week's end..

  4. Hello Susan
    I received my package of treasures from you yesterday. It really brightened my day. So nicely packaged. Thank you.

  5. Susan, I found your lovely package of sea treasures in the mail today. The envelopes were really nice; and I love the Walrus stamp. Cool tidbits for projects. I can't believe you find so much glass up there. Thank you so much.

  6. My goodness those little packets of treasures must've been tied up the border - that's a very long time to wing they're way to the south. I am thrilled that you're happy with them ... and thank you again so much for all your kind & caring words, thoughts and stories of your own much loved cats and dogs. They all have helped us tremendously. Thank you !


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