fearlessly failing

wintery weather has arrived way too early here in Nova Scotia unseasonably cold temperatures has the harbour ice filled

fearlessly failing -  a tale from the gifts of imperfection* 

Okay so I'd be lying if I said I actually am failing fearlessly but I do know that is the lesson yelling at me this year of "ease".

ya huh ! my one little word mantra for the year 2013 - "ease" (insert big eye roll here). Rather than be ease-y it has been the least "ease" full year that I can remember for quite some time. The absence of ease has instead become my teacher, as we head into the last few weeks of this year I'm realizing the lesson is that to feel more ease one has to succumb to the possibility of failure(s). To cultivate ease in one's life we must embrace, accept and allow our imperfections.

Note to self - Yes it's true I am not perfect, sadly. I will, I do, I have made some big mistakes lately. I am not in control of lots of things I wish, more from habit's sake than anything, that I could control. As we head into 2014 I am trying to fail fearlessly because I know I will fail again. I am trying to fail with grace, with dignity, with self acceptance & compassion. It's not ease-y - no pun intended. It's funny & sad & true that we go through life doing most things really well, successfully, contentedly but those odd, here & there flops, failures, boo boo's & mistakes somehow manage to smother any good, any great we might have also accomplished along the way. That's the place I'm in right now, still a  little bit mired in the muck of this difficult year. But ...

this too shall pass … I know it and I believe it - can I have an amen, maybe a hallelujah or 2 also ;-)

* Brené Brown's fantastic book - The Gifts of Imperfection

I am lucky

beauty & gratitude, greens & blues and my love Winnie Dixon - from this morning's early walk 

I am always sad, I think. Perhaps this signifies that I am not sad at all, because sadness is something lower than your normal disposition, and I am always the same thing. Perhaps I am the only person in the world, then, who never becomes sad. Perhaps I am lucky.

Jonathan Safran Foer - Everything is Illuminated

A favourite writer of mine, he writes as if he's lived inside of me or maybe I've lived inside of him or maybe he's been living inside all of us - go here for more of his perfect words. I am lucky and I know it.

lichenologist

beautiful pack ice / a very old poplar / the view from the end of Water St. / fir branch with freshly fallen snow / Winnie, Juice, Bee & me early morning explorin' / lichenologist 1 / Juicy / beautiful & terrifying / lichenologist 2 / dusk and the ice has left on the receding tide / Winnie Dixon / I love her ♡ with all my heart, sweet Bee

It's official - beginning today I have become a Lichenologist, got my papers in the mail ... just sayin'

Currently reading Brené Brown's book Daring Greatly if you haven't watched Oprah & Brené yet go here

The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. 
It's our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows. Brene Brown - The Gifts of Imperfection

heros all around us

Our morning walk, Winnie & I, along the boardwalk that hugs the harbour and then onto the Thinker's Lodge property

Yesterday morning I was getting dressed & running late when I noticed a lone firetruck race along Water Street in the direction we normally walk - it was around 7:30am. One fire truck is unusual, if there's a fire there's usually several firetrucks and as many firemen as can make it to the scene - it's a volunteer dept. made up of men from near & around our little village.

By mid-morning I'd found out that the racing firetruck was on it's way to rescue a dog that had fallen through the ice - a big, beautiful, goofy, handsome senior dog - Juicy (13 or 14 on his next birthday). Dr. McFarlane who walks his shepherd Molly along the same morning walking route Miss D and I take (only earlier) saw Juicy out on the ice, saw him break through and called 911. The fireman using an ice sled and dressed in a survival suit crept out onto the ice to haul the 100lb dog out of the frigid water. Apparently Juicy was clinging to the ice edge and thankfully had not been caught in the harbour's strong current. When the two, man and dog, reached land sweet ol' Juicy raised his head as if to say "thanks guys" but could not walk so the fireman then rushed Juicy to our local vet's office where the staff began their day a little earlier than usual treating a big, beautiful dog with hypothermia. I've heard that Juicy's OK - he'd been let outside very early that morning, before the sun was up, unattended. The lesson here to all of us is never leave your dog unattended. Period. Ever. Never assume a dog will stay in your yard because they have in the past & especially when they're a senior dog. They can suffer from dementia & senility just like humans do, they can become lost or disoriented. We have a fenced yard (4ft high) and I still check on Sam every few mins, he loves to just hang about with Bleet outside ... I don't know where I think he might escape to (or how), but I know I couldn't bear it if he wandered away and something terrible happened to him.

Thanks to the kindness & caring of heros all around us Juicy is still alive.
We love you Juicy !!

Animals and ice - it's been my biggest fear over the years, living so close to the water. I can remember after many particularly wicked snow storms (and before I'd had a chance to dig a trench on the inside of the fenced dog yard) the snow drifts would be so high in places Jake would leap over the fence, with Winnie Dixon behind him. Too many times I raced around this village in hot pursuit of my AWOL dogs, leashes in hand, madly crying & praying the whole time "please God don't let them go out onto the ice".  We've since moved the dog yard (or I should say Doug moved it) and it's new location is not only much more sensible but not nearly as exposed or susceptible to huge drifts of snow. My fear of open water and ice is also one of the reasons our dogs began wearing Martingale collars we buy ours from Etsy seller Mod Dog. Another time Winnie & were walking along the boardwalk beside the water/ice very early one winter morning and there was a fox in the park on our side of the harbour, when it saw us it shot out on the ice heading for the other side. Winnie wriggled out of her traditional collar and just by chance I grabbed her - otherwise in a blink she would've been on the ice too, chasing that fox for as long and as far as she could see it. Luckily I had a hold of Winnie, lucky for the fox the harbour ice was frozen solid.

It's beautiful, the ice in our harbour with that cold blue grey streak of open water ... beautiful & terrifying.

* Martingale collars were created originally for greyhounds and breeds who's heads are smaller than their necks - the collar hangs loose around the dogs neck and only tightens when the leash is pulled on. Genius.

a note : I'm afraid after nearly 6 years blogging the dastardly spam has found us & in a big way. Sadly I've decided to fend off this nasty foe by adding comment moderation to this blog ... so please leave comments, 'cause we LOVE them and be sure that I will post them as soon as I see that they aren't comments about yeast infections etc.. ;-) Susan

Winn & I have been totally smitten with Juicy (a Newf & Australian Shepherd cross) since we first met him the summer of 2010

last night

last night 6:30 pm - spectacular sky & harbour with crow medicine