fearlessly failing

wintery weather has arrived way too early here in Nova Scotia unseasonably cold temperatures has the harbour ice filled

fearlessly failing -  a tale from the gifts of imperfection* 

Okay so I'd be lying if I said I actually am failing fearlessly but I do know that is the lesson yelling at me this year of "ease".

ya huh ! my one little word mantra for the year 2013 - "ease" (insert big eye roll here). Rather than be ease-y it has been the least "ease" full year that I can remember for quite some time. The absence of ease has instead become my teacher, as we head into the last few weeks of this year I'm realizing the lesson is that to feel more ease one has to succumb to the possibility of failure(s). To cultivate ease in one's life we must embrace, accept and allow our imperfections.

Note to self - Yes it's true I am not perfect, sadly. I will, I do, I have made some big mistakes lately. I am not in control of lots of things I wish, more from habit's sake than anything, that I could control. As we head into 2014 I am trying to fail fearlessly because I know I will fail again. I am trying to fail with grace, with dignity, with self acceptance & compassion. It's not ease-y - no pun intended. It's funny & sad & true that we go through life doing most things really well, successfully, contentedly but those odd, here & there flops, failures, boo boo's & mistakes somehow manage to smother any good, any great we might have also accomplished along the way. That's the place I'm in right now, still a  little bit mired in the muck of this difficult year. But ...

this too shall pass … I know it and I believe it - can I have an amen, maybe a hallelujah or 2 also ;-)

* Brené Brown's fantastic book - The Gifts of Imperfection