golden girl

Em - polaroid 1993

Don't you love the Missoni inspired wallpaper (everything old truly is new again) in the background. The previous owners of this old brick house had wisely covered up tres bumpy and imperfect walls with wallpaper. Most of the rooms were wallpapered. Wallpaper hides a multitude of sins. They had also installed quite high end wall to wall carpet through-out, also covering up unpainted and unfinished softwood boards on the second floor and old and very tired linoleum on the first. But hey, thinks she's goin' be Martha girl decides to rip it all out in those early years of of course I want to live in a hundred year+ old fixer-upper. All of the wallpaper and all of the carpet were gone very early on and many of those big dreamed and schemed projects still are waiting to be finished, who am I kidding they're still waiting to be begun. Stalled indefinitely sometime in the 90's by the constant theme of indecisiveness (being a designer can sometimes be curse), a continued and ongoing lack of funds, and no skilled labour to be found, actually no labour of any kind ... to be found.

When this photo was taken I had just arrived in this little village from my previous life in an art room on the 8th floor at College & Bay. I'd escaped my big city life, a sinking relationship and days filled with crowds, noise, concrete and busyness. I had moved home, I had moved to the ocean. My golden girl Emma Jane was also beginning a new life with me and her second home at a year old. She and I and Ernst & Lulu (who moved here with me) were all beginning our new life together.

It's a balmy -5 outside and good riddance to that terrible arctic freeze weather. Tramp bubbles and coffee refills await. Phew ! it's Tuesday, Monday slipped by.

9:30 am - You know it's funny it's a very huge day up here in Canada as well. Obama's inauguration coverage will be live on every station and every network. Big screen TV's are being fired up in bars and restaurants all across our country. Church basements are opening up and TV's and radio's are being turned on.
This is a very big deal ... to all of us.

Bonjour Hope ! Hooray Hope !

retrievers

Em & Jake (a tiny speck of red near the horizon)- retriever heaven

In the night of death, hope sees a star,
and listening love can hear the rustling of a wing.

Robert Ingersoll

or in my case ... listening love can hear the splash of paws ...
racing into the water to fetch that stick.

If only I could have one wish ...


Happy tired dogs - Em & Jake

pack of 3

retriever heaven - sweet Emma Jane Louise and my handsome red boy Jake

Hope is like a bird that senses dawn
and carefully starts to sing while it is still dark.
author unknown

A fitting quote as I sit here most mornings anticipating dawn myself. This morning the air has a cool autumn feel, it's the feeling of bittersweet. My cozy chenille house coat is snugged in around me like I'm wrapped up in a teddy bear. It's been raining and the breeze blowing in my open windows is pushing the curtains up and into the room. It's dead quiet, the birds aren't even up yet, only the sounds of leaves and wind and Miss Dixon's soft snoring.

Last night I sat at my computer and watched and listened to little video clips on my mac's imovie program. My camera, like most digital cameras, lets you shoot short videos and thankfully I shot quite a few. Choppy, bumpy, very rough tiny movies with sound, most less than a minute long, of me and my pack of three dogs. Em, Jake & Winnie. My loves. Watching them run and swim and sniff and roll in the grass and running up to me with big smiles on their faces and tails wagging madly. Hearing their breath and listening to my voice speaking to them ... constantly. I'd forgotten about these little movies and watching them made my heart burst.

My favourite photo .... a repeat.


my pack of 3 ... my loves

sweet em

Emma Jane November 2006

I find this to be a haunting image, probably because I know she was nearing the end of her life. She turned 15 in early September of 2006, and we said goodbye to sweet Em late in December of that same year.

To love a dog and to be loved by a dog has to be one of the greatest gifts and to say goodbye, to let them go when their bodies and minds are failing them, is by far, the biggest sorrow that I'll ever know.

Coffee and cool breezes this morning. Sweet Oliver's happily watching the world outside my studio window from his pillow topped sill. The finches are chirping and chattering madly in the trees nearby and here we go again. Another new day ... and who knows it might just be the day that everything changes.

em

my beautiful golden girl Emma Jane Louise

This is the photograph that I have pinned to the drivers side visor of the car and every morning just after we all pile in the car to make the quick trip to the beach I look at this photo and say good morning to the missing leader of our pack. We said goodbye Dec. 22 2006, 9 months ago and still it's hard for me to believe that she's gone. I moved to this little village in 1993 from Toronto to start a new job at a large gift ware manufacturer. I didn't know anyone, had just purchased my first home and my mother, thinking that I needed instant company, (which was true and I wanted desperately to finally have a dog) found Em and we picked her up the second day here. She was 14 months old and had been returned to the breeder because she had dominance/aggression issues but the breeder assured us that that was nonsense. She was a beautiful pale gentle golden and she become my constant companion, my comfort, my security, my buddy.

As the years went by I added to our family, 2 years later Jake (the boy) a 1 year old red retriever I adopted from my local shelter, he had already had 2 homes and I think he was just too much dog for the previous owners. He had been well cared for, trained and he arrived a happy, secure, wound for sound young dog. He still at nearly 13 amazes me with his nearly constant exuberant energetic personality.

In January 2000 the shelter called me and asked if I'd consider fostering a little dog that was not having an easy time at the shelter. Her name was Princess, a scraggly wiry terrier mix that was absolutely terrified of everything and the shelter was worried that she seemed on a steady decline since being there. Not to mention how impossible it is to find home for a dog that is either cowering in their little shelter or barking frantically at anyone who came near her. I remember so clearly the day I picked her up ...how cute she was when I first laid eyes on her, but they had to drag her into my car - she was so terrified. It's a 40 minute drive back to my home from the shelter, she cowered in the back seat while I continued to speak to her softly telling her everything was going to be OK and she responded by throwing up – she was just so stressed out by the whole morning, they had bathed & groomed her and then dragged her into a strange car and closed the door. We just continued on our drive and we weren't at the half way point when she put her little paws on the console between the seats and stuck her head and snout into the front as if to say. "I think I trust you". Em & Jake greeted us at the door, sniffed & wagged their tales at Princess as if to say "come on in, the more the merrier". Several hours later Winnie (formerly Princess) was flinging stuffed toys around and playing. She continues to be very timid of people but she has made great progress with the women that we walk with each morning and she delights in being patted and loved by them. She loved Emma, Em was Winnie's leader & the top dog and I've noticed a huge difference since Em's been gone. I'm now the leader of Win's pack, but she's not quite as confident...Em made her feel much more secure.

Em looked after all of us and as far as we're concerned she is still there with us, each & every morning, at the beach.


Jake, Winnie Dixon & Emma Jane Louise

em last summer

emma jane louise

emma jane louise
September 08 1991 - December 22 2006

We miss her so much...and think about her every single day. This morning at the beach a crow was playfully swooping and flying very close above Winnie, Jake & I and I couldn't help but wonder if it was Em...I hope it was.