weekend words

so much great stuff on you my dear internet - from my own Pinterest board "words" & these excellenté words from retoyman

cats, cardboard & calendars

some older photos, some very recent - cats, cats, cats the cats of 29 Black St. with lots of Miss Personality - Missy IBB*

Creativity is intelligence having fun
Albert Einstein

Thursday's have been unofficially deemed Creative Days - new rule ritual No. 27 in my constantly evolving attempts to create more space, more time & way more creativity into my days. The kind of creativity that is completely self-directed, as intuitive as I can possibly muster, just mess in' around- the kind of creativity that should feel nothing but liberating but most often feels anxiety inducing.

I know for a fact that the most interesting work that I've created over the last 4 years is also the work that got me noticed in this busy chock-full-of-amazing-illustrators/artists world and is work I created with hardly a plan - at the most a really loose sketchy line drawing on tracing paper. Since "planning" is my other middle name, my security blanket & my comfort zone - this idea of diving in, especially when you haven't been diving in this particular pool for ages, is ... uncomfortable, scary, yadayada.

This morning already, after my chores ;-), I've been cutting 16 x 20 surfaces to work on from my ever growing stash of adored kraft cardboard. I plan to create several new calendars this year (sorry no more owls) but would love requests and/or suggestions. My initial planning is for 2 smaller size 6 x 9 wall calendars 1). cats - much like my popular lil' owl calendars 2). typographic (collage quotes/words) & and at least 1 large size calendar, a 12 x 18 Botanica - I will create (at least) 12 new large size botanical collage/mixed media pieces - always inspired by my adoration of the Cavallini wall calendar.

First up ... 16 x 20 begonias + red sunflowers - oh boy !! here we go ;-)
I actually put an apron on ... look out, 'cause things are about to get messy

*Missy IBB - the adorable, very popular Itty Bitty Betty

♡ les gang

gardening helper itty bitty Betty & daphne blooming / Miss Winnie Dixon / my dude Oliver / Samuel in the back yard / an explosion of geranium blossoms + Virgil / the black velvet chicelet - BleetNessie / a favourite sunshiny spot / he's such a good sleeper / my favourite spot - the nest / fierce itty bitty wild cat / he spends lots of time in his box office ♡


Until one has loved an animal, 
a part of one's soul remains unawakened.

Anatole France


4 cats, 2 dogs + 2 part time cats (feral boys who feed daily at our drive through kitchen window).  

I'm so happy to report that everyone, all of les gang are happy, healthy & doing well. Including my best girlfriend Missy D & sweet Nessie Ness who are both 4 months into their 16th year.

surrounded by love

itty bitty Betty in her laundry room basket in a room of her own (complete with closed french door, no boy cats & with all the essential feline amenities) someone's a lil' Princess / I do love to pose in sunshine - handsome Oliver / the big black velvet chicelet Bleet / cats lounging - that darn Virgil, he makes me smile / itty bitty Betty's breakfast nook (also in the laundry room of her own) / my favourite place - the chocolate brown nest / I also look very handsome wrapped in contrasting flannel / itty bitty Betty, once again, in her laundry room basket with a patch of  sunlight - natch / I ♡ cardboard boxes, especially ones with windows / ocelot / Oliver on the cat pillow in my studio surveying the scene

There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go.

Richard Bach

There's a difference between knowing and believing something. Believing it in that true & faith-full way. I am a perfectionist, no question, a perfectionist in that it's like carting around a 20lb shield way that Brené Brown talks about in her book The Gifts of Imperfection. I try very hard to never fail or make mistakes and I know that that is crazy talkin'. I know that's crazy by heart. I can recite a whole raft of quotations about the necessity of failure and mistake making in achieving success and authenticity in life, even more quotations remind me/us that if you don't feel vulnerable (Fear and Doubt) from time to time you're probably not living a very exciting or passionate life.

Perfectionism is like a 20lb shield that we carry with a thought process that says this, 'If I look perfect, live perfect, work perfect, and do it all perfectly, I can avoid or minimize feeling shame, blame, and judgement. 

Brené Brown

I do know these things are true, but I'm still learning to believe that they're true. And the only path I can see to believing is plain old trial by fire, plain old try, fail, make mistakes (& big ones) ... then get back up, fail again, try again, fail better.

I'm trying to let go of a long time dependency to sleep medication, a dependency from another time in my life, a time far far away from where I stand now. A time when Fear & Doubt ruled the roost around here especially in the middle of the night, that darn witching hour 1am - 3am. Nights (or early morning's) when if I woke up Worry & Loneliness, Doubt & Fear would all pile into the bed with me and I would feel physically & emotionally overcome with Panic and Sleeplessness. I began taking 1mg of Ativan at bedtime, it worked like a charm ... for years and years and it still works now but smothering my feelings and my fears isn't how I want to live anymore.

Last night as I lay awake, yet another night, through the witching hour instead of Doubt & Fear I felt instead absolutely immense gratitude, and for so many reasons, even or maybe especially for my mistakes. I thought to myself at this moment right NOW I have absolutely everything I've ever wanted or needed. I am surrounded by love ... so what's the deal with this fear thing ;-)

I have everything I need or want
I am surrounded by love ... it's true
I am filled with gratitude


Brené Brown's 2 famous TED talks on shame and vulnerability - watch & repeat as necessary + happy weekend

flowers, cats & courage

Oliver in my studio windowsill / 3.97 pink gerbera daisy from Walmart, I need one in every colour / BleetNessie / Virgil / LOVE from the Fresh Exchange / warm enough yesterday to open a window, Bonjour Spring / dried hydrangea blossom / the truth - me trying to sort through my most recent library, bedside, book pig haul - avec cats of course / my comfort, my 3rd dog, my Oliver / dog & cat upstairs hallway chair with seeds / & oh my, geranium ;-)

Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day.  It's about the choice to show up and be real.  The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.  Brene Brown from The Gifts of Imperfection

Listening to Brené Brown interviewed on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday on repeat. Holding hands with courage, trying to let myself be authentic & feeling a whole lotta vulnerable. Happy to report that Miss Dixon, my Winnie girl is hanging in there, huge appetite (always a good sign) and lovely wanderings with me and Samuel several times each day in our big yard - hooray ! 

& here's to lots more daring greatly !

& four cats

Bleet & my studio windowsill garden / no cats on the table ! Betty / Virgil & orange mamma / what happens when I decide to curl up in the nest with my journal ;-) / drawing with the creative director / handsome Virgil / Bleet in sunshine / he's a very paws on boss / I never met a box I didn't love / Betty has her own private bully proof room-the laundry room / Oliver in the chocolate brown room / Betty in her bed above the dryer/ I think I see a pigeon

Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final

Rainer Marie Rilke

repeat as necessary