nearing the ending

3 of my favourites, 2 favourite art pieces of mine + Oliver snoozing on the bathroom counter / wild blue daisy - chickory near the water / the view from my studio office chair - we love hummingbirds / that 3.99 Walmart mini rose is not so mini anymore / wild & tangled / rudbeckia ? / Miss D in the front garden - I love this house / more seaside wildflowers / & more orange roses / phlox / NessieNess loves this time of year / still life with audio books (all from the library) / crazy about the miniature forests of moss & lichen / where we left off last - not-so-brave / not sure what these sweet white blooms are / this photo shows where we live - look closely centre-ish of photo - that's our front ocean facing yard / & the above photo taken from this boardwalk exactly 139 steps from our front door 

All transitions are composed of an ending, a neutral zone and a new beginning William Bridges

I used to have a copy of William Bridges well known & much loved book Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes - I bought it years ago way before I met Doug and was in the process, by necessity, of getting ready to leave/sell 29 Black Street. Even though I'm in a much different & much better place now and the leaving is by choice & desire not by necessity I'm still finding the transition difficult. The end(ing) feels like it's just begun even though I've been planning this move, & knowing about for ages. It's become a reality and not just a fun dreamy topic of conversation.

I am nearing the ending, feeling the grief, sadness & worry, worry that I'll have regrets and at the same feeling quite confident that in the end I won't - I've been planning this move for a very long time. I'm ready, so ready to welcome the neutral zone + I'm almost there & then !! what's more exciting than a brand new beginning.

I'm ordering a new copy of this book today. Happy Weekend to all ;-)

sunflower part 1

layer No. 5 with metallic gold details

Normally when working small (to fit my scanner) slightly less than 9 x 12 I always try to remember to scan each step as I go. A safety measure of sorts, a just in case I go too far, wished I hadn't glued something down, painted black lines, etc. And it also documents the interesting & mysterious evolution of a mixed media collage piece.

Below is a step-by-step series of photos from my blank 16 x 20 heavy kraft cardboard sheet to where I stopped last night because my cardboard had a huge big curl in it - I should be working on masonite or thin plywood but I do LOVE a good piece of otherwise recycled cardboard. The top image (sadly out of focus a bit) is a place along the way that I could have/should have maybe stopped - it's beautiful, this layer No.5 but I knew I wanted to collage on top, these first layers were always meant to be background. I knew my "plan" was red sunflower(s). Plus truthfully as much as I wish sometimes that I was more of an abstract kinda gal - I'm just not. I mean it's fun as practice & fooling around & messing around layering paint, mark making, collage & more paint - but ultimately at this point in my creative journey I want the end product to be representational and I am still working on getting the finished product to BE how I want it to be, to be that how I can see sort of clearly in my mind's eye.

Where I left off in No. 9 below is not where I want this piece to be - so it's currently being weighted down by stacks and stacks of magazines (that I just happen to have hanging around, my magazine obsession/hoarding is another story for another time). I'll work on this red sunflower piece more once it's flattened again. I must  also mention that this piece "red sunflower" is a collaborative piece I'm working on with my studio mate and Creative Director Oliver :-) he of course is an integral part of every finished product.

stages 1-8 + most excellent collaborative art partner Oliver - you can see the bend in my surface in No.9

overachiever

I've never met a piece of cardboard I didn't like* - kraft paisley No.1 - white ink on kraft cardboard - Susan Black © 2014

Striving for balance will derail your plans for greatness. It's not the imbalances of life that will get you down–it's doing meaningless things that aren't taking you where you want to go.

Danielle LaPorte - The Fire Starter Sessions

You may be wondering (I know I am) what ever happened to my 60 minutes a day of art for the entire month of March ?

Huh ? I made it 13 days. On day 3 I was so thrilled about the idea, the fun, the freedom, the newness & the novelty and tres jealous inspired by the amazing 30 min. loose spontaneous & gorgeous sketchbook pages of my friend Jennifer Orkin Lewis that I actually spoke publicly about not only doing 60 mins of sketchbook art/painting a day but maybe I'd be so bold as to add to each of my days, 'cause I'm just sitting' around dreaming up things to do, 30 minutes of pattern making plus 30 minutes of typography, all sketchy loose stuff, spontaneous, fun, not taking myself too seriously or worrying about the final outcome. Ya Huh !! I failed miserably. So ... let's do the post-mortem on that failed project - I know I want to.

Well first & simply I did not ever set the timer for 60 mins. Big mistake. Because by day 6 (or sooner) Madam Perfectionist (not a loose and/or spontaneous bone in her body) had come a callin' & settled in for a stay. Very quickly, because of Madam P watching over my shoulder, what began as a 60 min. a day fun project, turned into a many hour, had to love each day's page madly, must be Perfect, albatross around my neck.

No biggie however, and certainly not at all a surprise to me because, as they say in current psychotherapy, I am pretty "self aware" ;-). In fact the experience was another great reminder. I try to do too much & all the time instead of doing the things that really lift me up and propel me and my dreams and goals forward. The problem is I like doing w-a-y too many things. I keep thinking I should have more balance in my life ? But honestly I don't even know what that means or what "balance" in my life would look like ? maybe I already have balance and I don't recognize it ??

e·qua·nim·i·ty
noun

mental emotional stability or composure, especially under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium.

I hear many Buddhists & yoga instructors (I hate to lump them into one group but there does seem to be lots of overlap + I do relate greatly to both practices) speaking lately about striving for "equanimity" in life. Yeah, yeah, yeah - I don't really like that word, I don't like the look of it, or the sound of it and because I am so "self aware" I'm pretty sure equanimity and me are never really gonna be great pals. Not saying I can't be civil & welcoming to a little more calm & composure in my life but I'm really getting to know, love & accept the roller coaster ride that is me.

How 'bout we finish up today with a fantastic little reminder from our pal ze



* I'm a serious cardboard hoarder - cardboard & bubble wrap, another chapter - hoarding and it's relationship to the anxious mind - stay tuned ;-)

love your self

black gouache, a big paintbrush & a creamy page from my sketchbook it's bold floral love - Susan Black

Love after love

The time will come 
when, with elation 
you will greet yourself arriving 
at your own door, in your own mirror 
and each will smile at the other's welcome, 

and say, sit here. Eat. 
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart 
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you 

all your life, whom you ignored 
for another, who knows you by heart. 
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, 

the photographs, the desperate notes, 
peel your own image from the mirror. 
Sit. Feast on your life.

Derek Walcott

sigh ... 

I just discovered Derek Walcott

I believe that time is coming, my time - it feels like it's nearly here - but maybe it always feels like it's nearly here, there ... everywhere. Change & growth in my life is happening so fast & furiously it makes me feel dizzy most of the time. Dizzy in that glorious, wonderful, amazed way like you've just rolled down a steep grassy hill and you feel so giddy you can't stand up and very occasionally it's dizzy and dazed  in that sickening shaming, worrying way - that icky, sticky feeling I now know and trust is not ever going to go away, uncomfortable is always going to bang on my door from time to time. I'm learning to invite her in, sit with her awhile and eventually she'll leave again, she'll be on her way - 'til next time.

I've actually had several hours today when I've felt like I was caught up with myself (my goals and action steps) for my current 18 brand new artwork, fabulous, freaky, wonderful, terrifying, just a little bit stressful (insert big wink here) project/opportunity - deadline Nov/08th eek. Caught up enough that I felt I could stop by here to my beloved blog ... say hello and show you one of my new current obsessions. Black & white (or cream in this instance). Check out my B&W pinterest board + neutrals hmmm, oh my I do so love me some ivory, cream & kraft ;-)

leaf swirl tiny daisy pattern - ink - Susan Black

just begin

a walk from the large dock along the boardwalk to the crescent beach ... just me & my camera - sigh  ... absolutely heavenly

The most important thing about art is to work. 
Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying.
Steven Pressfield

I've been hearing about the book The War of Art everywhere it seems. Many artist's & motivational speakers that I listen to on youtube or who's blogs I read keep mentioning this book - another message from Madam Universe. I finally decided to order a copy of my own through an amazon second hand seller and wouldn't you know it just as my copy finally arrived Oprah has the author Steven Pressfield on her fantastic show Super Soul Sunday (watch the interview here but watch it soon because the videos don't stay live for long). M. Universe at it again & she with her perfect timing for I am battling the war of art intensely at the moment, in fact I feel completely freakin' paralyzed by "resistance" or fear, self doubt that chattering roommate in my head (in our heads) trying to convince us that we will surely fail before we even begin. 

Resistance is not a peripheral opponent. 

Resistance arises from within. 

It is self-generated and self-perpetuated. 

Resistance is the enemy within.

Steven Pressfield

I am embarking on the biggest, best & hopefully most beautiful, most creative project to date - no pressure here ;-) I know what I have to do. I have to tell that roommate of mine to shut up ! I need to dive in. I need to put my fearless game on. I need to make & do. I need to stop thinking (& writing) about it. I need to just begin.

Someone once asked Somerset Maughham if he wrote on a schedule or only when struck by inspiration. "I write only when inspiration strikes," he replied. "Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o'clock sharp".
Steven Pressfield

lilla rogers week 3

Week 3 of Lilla Roger's Make Art That Sells super-fabulous e-course Children's Book Illustration 

Our task this week (3) to illustrate (in any way we wanted) either the cover or a spread from The Hans Christian Anderson dark fairytale The Snail and the Rose Tree. I submitted No 1 as my final.

I'm happy with the overall composition of No.2, a spread from the story but I just think my skill at rendering the concept sucks (or is certainly not anything earth-shatteringly interesting ... meh ! and No.3 was a composition/thumbnail and painting/collage style I wanted to experiment with. I am super pleased with No.1 as my goal was to try and make my design this week spare, clean and modern looking + the look on his (curmudgeonly) face kills me. The competition (not that it's a competition -wink, wink) or shall I say the level of incredible talent in this class is humbling to say the least. Each Tuesday following our Sunday deadline Lilla chooses 10-15 out nearly 400 to chat about, pieces that stood out to her in good ways. My plate from last week made the review (woo hoo !) which thrilled me beyond words - I don't expect my snail to make the cut this week but it was a tres fun & challenging exercise/project. I'm absolutely loving this course it has set my heart ablaze. Uh Huh !!!

revised plate

my plate made Lilla's home decor crit (Shut Up !) her "change one thing" comment - remove that big darn leaf - & perfecto !

lilla's

a little of what's goin' on over at Lilla's - I'm in e-school heaven - sung by that chorus of angels

+ a little great music heard, of course on Q - Emeli Sandé

more fierceness

Black and white vase No.1 - 9 x 12 - collage, ink & acrylic on birch painting panel - Susan Black  

What nobody tells people who are beginners — and I really wish someone had told this to me . . . is that all of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, and it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not.

But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase. They quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it’s normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story.

It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.


Ira Glass - watch his video here

A slightly new direction for me. Hugely inspired by Lulie Wallace and her gorgeous flower studies. I've decided to follow her lead and to limit myself to creating new original work on affordable 9x12 birch painting panels, my subject matter will always be flowers in vases. Natch. I want to experiment with more paint, less collage, more looseness, less fussy detail. I've become reliant, on what seem to me not, to be tricky techniques. I want my work to be more spare. This actual finished piece there is no doubt in my mind that I went too far, got too carried away as is my normal tendency that explosion of colour and fiddly drawing busyness ... oh well. All that said ... there is much about this first new piece that I'm happy about - it's a feeling in my gut that I'm on to something here ... I'm liking the direction I'm headed.

I love this wooden surface and the more expensive gallery style version has lovely deep sides (which Lulie paints white). I love the idea of limiting my subject matter to flowers in vases. I love that I can design the vases and I love that the flowers can be abstracted versions of actual species (?) of flowers or they too can be completely of my own design & imagination.

I want to learn to know when to stop, or at least slow down. To better understand when enough is enough, as is evident I think strongly in the version below scanned at the half way point. There are many things about this version that make my heart sing. I love the pencil lines, the loose brush strokes, the quirkiness and most of all the empty spare spaces. I feel really excited about this new work, in fact I can barely contain myself today from beginning another but I have that Sunday list of chores (boo!) that someone's gotta do - only the mildest form of housecleaning, a little gardening, a little cooking, a little sweeping up of volumes of hair ;-)

And tomorrow I start Lilla Rogers - Make Art That Sells e-course with my friend Anna. Cannot wait !!
Happy sunday and stay tuned for many, many more flower studies on birch painting panels - oh boy !

+ let's listen to Ira one more time on how ya get good at what you like to do ... by doing lots of it

scanned at the midway point and (bottom) the little thumbnail sketch from my journal - Susan Black

new things

a new 11x14 poppies giclee print & lots more new things in my Etsy shop

signature

model with catitude Oliver avec new favourite 18x24 framed giclee print dans our beautiful bathroom. Giclee prints of Bold Floral (horizontal), Bold Floral (vertical) & Believe, Be Love all available in my etsy shop

Ordinarily, I go to the woods alone, 
with not a single friend, for they are all 
smilers and talkers and therefore unsuitable.

I don’t really want to be witnessed talking to 
the catbirds or hugging the old black oak tree. 
I have my way of praying, as you no doubt have yours. 

Besides, when I am alone I can become invisible. 
I can sit on the top of a dune as motionless as an uprise 
of weeds, until the foxes run by unconcerned. 
I can hear the almost unbearable sound of the roses singing.

If you have ever gone to the woods with me, 
I must love you very much.

Mary Oliver - How I go to the woods

I love you Mary Oliver, you help me to feel sane ... kindred spirits we are

Even though I do trust that my creative style is ever evolving these pieces above, these bold florals, with their neon bits on white washed kraft cardboard (the back page of pads of tracing paper) have become my current signature, at least to me. I recently had the gig poster I did early this past summer for Kim Harris enlarged, an 18 x 24 giclee print that now leans (I'm a terrible leaner, not yet a hanger ;-) in our beautiful clean, white renovated bathroom. I love it. I framed it a very affordable poster frame that comes with a thin sheet of plexi/plastic instead of glass that I ordered from Deserres a Canadian art supply store with a fabulous shop location in Halifax and a regular haunt when I'm in the city visiting with MLou. We deprived Nova Scotians do not have an Ikea (very sad face).

Anyway I love this big new art piece and my current signature style & Oliver loves it too.

Oh & Hey ! the Bold Florals are now available as garden flags, mailbox covers & more ... a collaboration with Magnet Works check out me & my designs for them in their new spring catalogue here. (mid page click on check out new designs here I'm pages 18-21) Wow !

You have no idea how much it bothers me that I can't figure out how to make these photos all have the same width - errrgggghhh - steam coming out of my ears. update bother no more  - thanks Amanda !