overachiever

I've never met a piece of cardboard I didn't like* - kraft paisley No.1 - white ink on kraft cardboard - Susan Black © 2014

Striving for balance will derail your plans for greatness. It's not the imbalances of life that will get you down–it's doing meaningless things that aren't taking you where you want to go.

Danielle LaPorte - The Fire Starter Sessions

You may be wondering (I know I am) what ever happened to my 60 minutes a day of art for the entire month of March ?

Huh ? I made it 13 days. On day 3 I was so thrilled about the idea, the fun, the freedom, the newness & the novelty and tres jealous inspired by the amazing 30 min. loose spontaneous & gorgeous sketchbook pages of my friend Jennifer Orkin Lewis that I actually spoke publicly about not only doing 60 mins of sketchbook art/painting a day but maybe I'd be so bold as to add to each of my days, 'cause I'm just sitting' around dreaming up things to do, 30 minutes of pattern making plus 30 minutes of typography, all sketchy loose stuff, spontaneous, fun, not taking myself too seriously or worrying about the final outcome. Ya Huh !! I failed miserably. So ... let's do the post-mortem on that failed project - I know I want to.

Well first & simply I did not ever set the timer for 60 mins. Big mistake. Because by day 6 (or sooner) Madam Perfectionist (not a loose and/or spontaneous bone in her body) had come a callin' & settled in for a stay. Very quickly, because of Madam P watching over my shoulder, what began as a 60 min. a day fun project, turned into a many hour, had to love each day's page madly, must be Perfect, albatross around my neck.

No biggie however, and certainly not at all a surprise to me because, as they say in current psychotherapy, I am pretty "self aware" ;-). In fact the experience was another great reminder. I try to do too much & all the time instead of doing the things that really lift me up and propel me and my dreams and goals forward. The problem is I like doing w-a-y too many things. I keep thinking I should have more balance in my life ? But honestly I don't even know what that means or what "balance" in my life would look like ? maybe I already have balance and I don't recognize it ??

e·qua·nim·i·ty
noun

mental emotional stability or composure, especially under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium.

I hear many Buddhists & yoga instructors (I hate to lump them into one group but there does seem to be lots of overlap + I do relate greatly to both practices) speaking lately about striving for "equanimity" in life. Yeah, yeah, yeah - I don't really like that word, I don't like the look of it, or the sound of it and because I am so "self aware" I'm pretty sure equanimity and me are never really gonna be great pals. Not saying I can't be civil & welcoming to a little more calm & composure in my life but I'm really getting to know, love & accept the roller coaster ride that is me.

How 'bout we finish up today with a fantastic little reminder from our pal ze



* I'm a serious cardboard hoarder - cardboard & bubble wrap, another chapter - hoarding and it's relationship to the anxious mind - stay tuned ;-)