mistakes (& some big ones)

January/11/2014 - Winnie Dixon entering her 16th year - ice be damned / crow + seagull / Oliver, Virgil & Sam / last boat to leave our icy harbour / thai coleslaw - delish ! / the nest aver the boys Oliver & Gussie / before winter really arrived / I do love growing anything / best chapped lip remedy / at the end of Water St. awhile ago / the boys in the penthouse pad / my best girl Dee when we could still walk along the boardwalk

What a waste my life would be without all the beautiful mistakes I've made.
Alice Bag

trying to come to terms with some terrible mistakes I've made this past year - mistakes that continue to haunt me into 2014 - reminding myself just how far I've come and just how much I've learned from these choices/mistakes - trial by fire … that's for sure ;-)

+ Happy, happy birthday Miss Winnie Dixon - 15 yesterday - woo ! hoo !

flying higher

January/10/2014 - I have the most beautiful light (& view) in my studio/office space / beginning art journal pages / les blank double page spread + art supply stuff / I'm starting with a vintage paper collage background /  hello handsome Oliver (iMac desktop) he must be away on his break :-) + check out cool extra large Susan Black for MagnetWorks mouse pad (bottom right corner) / this turned into this

Always seek less turbulent skies. 
Hurt. Fly above it. 
Betrayal.

Fly above it. 
Anger. Fly above it.

You are the one who is flying the plane. 

Marianne Williamson 

You can catch another freakin' fantastic episode of Super Soul Sunday with Marianne Williamson here.
I've already listened to it a dozen times or more & I get something new & wonderful each time ;-)

I'm already Flying higher this brand new year with Faith, Surrender & Letting Go my most excellent travelling companions. Faith is so much about letting Badness be. Letting bullies puff & pontificate while you walk away, head held high, "can't touch this" 'tude an invisible, impenetrable armour of sorts. Surrendering doesn't mean giving up or giving in. Surrendering is having Faith. Believing in the good, trusting in myself completely, knowing that karma always come a knockin' and allowing that Madam Universe is taking care of every little thing. I'm not saying it's easy this surrendering with Faith but I know with all my heart that it's the exact right thing for right now ;-)

Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher 

Oprah Winfrey

fix, control & prevent pas

Januray/09/2014 - afternoon sun through icy branches / Winnie & Sam / in the backyard / looking out into the Northumberland Straight - ice as far as the eye can see / snow buddies Winn & Sam / on the away to Inn the Elms for lunch with Mary P / ice laden spruce boughs / 29 Black Street bathed in sunshine / ice, ice baby / deep snow on the little birdhouse / back yard trails / Mr. Samuel Leon Berger ;-) 

no more trying to constantly fix, prevent and/or control - this is the year of having faith & learning to surrender

Surrender is the ultimate sign of strength and the foundation for a spiritual life. Surrendering affirms that we are no longer willing to live in pain. It expresses a deep desire to transcend our struggles and transform our negative emotions. It commands a life beyond our egos, beyond that part of ourselves that is continually reminding us that we are separate, different and alone. Surrendering allows us to return to our true nature and move effortlessly through the cosmic dance called life. It's a powerful statement that proclaims the perfect order of the universe. 

When you surrender your will, you are saying, "Even though things are not exactly how I'd like them to be, I will face my reality. I will look it directly in the eye and allow it to be here." Surrender and serenity are synonymous; you can't experience one without the other. So if it's serenity you're searching for, it's close by. All you have to do is resign as General Manager of the Universe. Choose to trust that there is a greater plan for you and that if you surrender, it will be unfolded in time. 

Surrender is a gift that you can give yourself. It's an act of faith. It's saying that even 
though I can't see where the river is flowing, I trust it will take me in the right direction. 

Debbie Ford

We're back from the vet and Miss D had an excellent senior dog check-up. Dianne suggested that Winnie's symptoms (back legs giving out & weak hind end) are most likely caused by her poor old arthritic legs (over the years she's torn both back cruciate knee ligaments) combined with a particularly terrible and hard winter - tres icy everywhere & bitter, bitter cold. Mama'a been catastrophizing yet again … oops guilty. But such a relief to get the opinion of a vet that I trust completely & love dearly. Miss Dee also had her much too long black toe nails trimmed to help her walk a little better on that darn ice - which is everywhere.

living in the in-between

January/08/2014 - my dear Winnie Dixon / black pine & elm / aster seed heads / snow plow mountains / handsome Samuel / a crow / the salt mine in the distance / back yard buddies Sam & Winn / the snow plows getting the roads tiered & ready for the next dump of snow / love her ♡

This too shall pass

Hakim Sanai

The prayer of the faith full. My prayer. My mantra. My comfort. 
For nothing ever stays the same. 
& I know that to be true … I just forget that I know it.

Winnie turns 15 Friday. I adopted her 14 years ago. She's been having a hard time lately, her body's having a hard  time. Her spirit is still alive and full of love & devotion. Her appetite (especially for cat food ;-) is great ! she sleeps well, she has good days & sound nights, snoring loudly in her bed in our bedroom but her poor arthritic back legs and hind end are not co-operating. This #?*%!! winter is not co-operating. This winter sucks. It's bitter cold and extremely icy interspersed with drifting heaps of snow. Not good for arthritic lil' old legs & trepidation with every step.  We have a trip tomorrow planned to our vet Dianne Stevens in Sackville, NB. Dianne has been our vet (les gang's vet) for nearly 20 years, practically the entire time I've lived in this little village. I'm hoping things will go well. I'm hoping for some good news, some reassurance & some comfort. I trust Dianne. 

I'm living in the in-between times. In between loving and caring for a younger healthy dog and bracing myself for the preparation and pain of letting her go. Letting her go. Letting her leave. Letting Miss D say goodbye when the time is right for her, not when the time is right for me because of course the time will never be right for me. It may be soon … or maybe we have lots more time. I'm trying to become more comfortable living in the lands of in-between. Trying to snuggle into my new favourite cozy sweater - faith. Being full of faith that the Universe has things covered, that I can let down my vigilance & control and relax into these in-between times.

He knew how to handle pain. You had to lie down with pain, not draw back away from it. You let yourself sort of move around the outside edge of pain like with cold water until you finally got up your nerve to take yourself in hand. Then you took a deep breath and dove in and let yourself sink down it clear to the bottom. And after you had been down inside pain a while you found that like with cold water it was not nearly as cold as you had thought it was when your muscles were cringing themselves away from the outside edge of it as you moved around it trying to get up your nerve. He knew pain.

James Jones from Here to Eternity

being faith full

January/06/2014 - the first of many double page spreads in my Moleskin sketchbook - bonjour art journalling !


The reason birds can fly and we can't 
is simply because they have perfect faith, 
for to have faith is to have wings. 
J. M. Barrie 

I chose my one little word for 2014 early this time 'round - in fact I began pondering it back in November of 2013 nearing the end of an especially rough & tumble year for me - I started trying the word faith on way back then, wearing it around the house and then daring to wear it on my occasional ventures out into the big, bad, scary world beyond the perimeter of the lands of 29 Black Street, my personal, glass domed, imaginary protective bubble. The word faith felt really good almost immediately, it makes me feel braver, more confident, stronger & more daring too. Being full of faith feels like I'm always wearing an invisible thick & cozy, soft & comfy, old & much loved sweater (with a big turtleneck) in my favourite vivid colour (something hot pink or coral).

If we can just let go and trust that things will work out the
way they're supposed to, without trying to control the outcome, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully. The joy of the freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself.
Goldie Hawn

I have to thank (& bless) Anne Lamott for steering me toward this word - after watching her Super Soul Sunday interview with Oprah on repeat and loving the concept of her newish book Help, Thanks, Wow - the 3 Essential Prayers. + having gobbled up with delight (& also on repeat) every youtube chat or interview that I can find by sweet, wise & very funny Annie Lamott - the concept of faith came a knocking'. Faith to me is the antithesis of  Control - Control and me are have been co-dependent & dysfunctional best buddies forever. It's so time to let go of control and to have faith instead. Hmmmm it's feels delicious, it really does.

Faith is a passionate intuition
William Wordsworth

oh my I LOVE that last quote + my favourite John Hiatt song & my Faith anthem this year I'll be singing it to ME

3 kings + 1 princess

January/03/2014 - handsome, handsome Oliver / itty bitty betty on my printer cat bed / Virgil on orange mama / dudalicious desktop wallpaper / BleetNessie / oh my Virgil (Gussie Gus) / miss Betty in the backyard / Mr. Creative Director / the nest aver Betty / Betty / Oliver & Virg in the penthouse pad (pillow topped drying rack near big window ;-) / little sweet Miss B

thank you Madam U.

the view from the end of Water St. // last year's nest // the view from the lawn of Thinker's Lodge // ice, ice baby // the crescent beach // nature thrills me, nature heals me // love the colour palette of this winter scene // WOW ! so much life on a fallen log 

one of the many, many things I love about the connected world of the internet is the ability to create & cultivate friendships with people from all over, people you may never ever meet. Though I live in an extremely beautiful & peaceful part of the world I often feel extremely isolated from my creative peers. Lately, partially because of an excellent FREE North American phone plan, I have been connecting and have become phone friends with creative colleagues from all over North America- Heather Reneaux is just one of these many new friends  - she sent me this quote (which she received from "the Daily motivator") that she hoped would help with my recent struggles, mistakes, regrets & obvious failures - it did help, it does help - we need to constantly be supporting each other lifting each other & ourselves up, up, UP anyway we can ;-)
Thank you Heather !! xoxo s

Nothing to be afraid of

Failure is nothing to be afraid of. Highly successful people  experience it all the time, and they do just fine.

What will hold you back is not failure. What will hold you back is doing nothing because you fear failure.

Say what you authentically believe, without worrying about whether or not you're saying the right thing. Express what you truly feel, without being concerned about what others will think.

And by all means, take action without fretting or procrastinating or fearing what might or might not happen. Prepare yourself as best you know how, make sensible, well-informed choices, and then get busy doing it.

Sometimes, the result won't be to your liking. But you can deal with that, 
and you'll never know what works and what doesn't until you step forward and act.
 
The way to succeed at anything is to take action even though failure is a definite possibility. Push yourself constantly
forward into action, and make a beautiful, unique difference in life.

Ralph Marston

I am beside myself with joy, thrilll-dom & I have a much stronger belief that having faith will prevail- my blog is back.
THANK YOU ! THANK YOU ! THANK YOU ! Madam U.