beautiful poison

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

does this cloud look to you like a lean and greying cowboy ...

- 23 days
an eternity

Ever has it been known that love knows not
it's own depth until the hour of separation

Kahil Gibran

Yesterday as the cowboy and the beautiful brown hound climbed into their vehicle and pulled away from the curb in front of this old brick house I felt sick to my stomach. The big ache had begun. How on earth will I survive 23 days without him and the brown velvet Bess ?

The cowboy with his big, huge smile and eyes that twinkle at me when he laughs, and he laughs a lot. With arms that fold around me and hold me tighter than I've ever wanted. The man with the tall moustache and boyish silver bangs that flop down over his forehead. A man so handsome my knees are permanently weakened. A man so kind and sweet, so funny and so deliciously complicated that I can't breath properly anymore.

Thank goodness I have 13 archived phone messages. I'll talk to him again Wednesday, tomorrow. He doesn't have a cell phone - of course he doesn't. Why didn't I say call me collect from a phone booth ? Will I ? Can I ? survive 24 hrs without hearing his voice - his real, live voice ?

I would wish to sleep for 23 days like a Snow White awakened upon his return, finally, with the sweetest kiss. But Hey ! Alas ! ... I have a million, billion things that I want to get done, that I must get done. The teak topped desk is yelling at me. If only I could take the cowboy and all my swirling, racing thoughts about him and us and put them gently in a cupboard in this old brick house, tucked away - even for a few hours so that I might be able to think again in a clear, straight and productive manner. Deepest sigh.

I have been beautifully poisoned ...

last night's walk - Winnie Dixon, Piper Belle & me


  1. Do they still have phone-booths?

    SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!

    You've got Empire Building and Package sending to get to Lil Missy!!! He'll be back and I bet even Miss Winnie will be glad to see him.

    And no, that cloud looks like an evil Stephen King Clown cloud. (can you tell shamey is dealing with copier/printer salespeople all week?)

  2. Oh Shamie girl, Please tell me How ? How ? I beg of you - this is the part of love that truly does suck. Of course it sucks only in the most lovely and absolutely perfect way ... yet still it Sucks !!! I'm hoping Wed. when I hear his voice again I'll come out of this pathetic place I'm lingering in.

    And you betcha girlfriend !!! there most certainly are large, fat perfect packages to be lovingly wrapped and posted - off to the lands of KC.

    love ya, merci for bearing with me and my beautiful sickness.

  3. OK, if you need a way to deal, make something for him. Something uniquely Susan, something romantic, something time consuming, preferably something that takes 23 days. Suddenly you'll find you won't have enough time to complete his "special" project and he'll be back.
    Now, CHOP CHOP!!

  4. And just where was friend Sue the Matchmaker when this tearful farewell was due? Surely she could have produced a cell phone for that Luddite cowboy?

    (Yes, Susan, you born-again teenager, you need to look up the Luddites now, and work out how it's become a term of abuse in our modern age!)

    Good suggestion from Big Shamu - get a project underway with only just enough time to get it done; the days will fly by....

  5. HeeheeHEE!! I almost feel off my chair laughing with your opening question. No, dearest, we don't see the cowboy in the clouds, but I am so, so happy you DO!!

  6. But.... won't he be sleeping in a motel or hotel? they have phones.. I am happy to say I, too, have no cell phone... why would I? If I am busy out of the house or anywhere the land line is not... who needs phones? not me. Messages can be left... call backs can be made if I'm important enough....
    now, I'm off to Google Luddite.....that damn Rachel... she keeps me on my toes she does....

  7. okay...I'm back... maybe I'm a semi-Luddite... seeing as I won't be destroying any wool or cotton mills anytime soon.....but, I'm definitely opposed to some modern gadgetry and techno crap.... my Mac springs to mind at the moment...although, I have at least solved one problem with Iphoto.... I need to turn off Safari in order for it to upload the most up to date photos for me to upload to blogger...aha! now... to figure out why some pics still won't click to enlarge after I get them onto blogger....especially if I drag them around or cut/copy..... hmmmmm any suggestions? anybody?

  8. i see things are still moving forward at a wonderfully romantic pace with you and your cowboy!! so very happy for you! i've been on a bit of a respite from blogging and i must say what a thrill it was to read several posts all at once instead of the once-daily read i usually partake of here at 29 black street. love is a truly wonderful thing and i can't think of anyone more deserving of this new exciting life than you, susan!!!

  9. "Beautiful Poison".... sounds like a great Agatha Christie novel. Or maybe a perfume.

    And yes, you are wildly and passionately in the midst of new love. That cloud looked like a chicken to me.

  10. Ain't no cowboys in that cloud, Susan! You've got it bad, girl. Keep busy busy busy busy busy. But you have to keep busy doing something that keeps you from THINKING. That's the trick. :) xox Pam

  11. I just thought it looked like a cloud. LOL And yeah, a project that takes 23 days to complete sounds fantastic. You're so sweet. I'm so glad I found this blog just as you were falling in love. Wheeee! And big hugs for your lonely heart, body, mind, self.

  12. lol, i thought it looked like a chicken too, lol, a cloudy chicken, but i think its real cool that you see your cowboy. Keep busy Susan, i agree thats the best and maybe the only way.


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