chemicals

Monday, November 30, 2009


in a hayfield up on the hill behind the cowboy's house yesterday afternoon

The girls, Miss D and Piper Belle, and I slopped through the wet hay fields behind his house just as the sun was sinking behind the rough edge of the forest. A perfect clear blue evening sky and the first few stars had just arrived along with the moon white and round and nearly full.

It's funny because it's not so long ago, just after that fateful meeting in the park, that I would occasionally find myself driving by the cowboy's house on my way to or from somewhere. I would always slow down, my breath held and a thrill in my belly, for perhaps I might catch a glimpse of the silver haired man with the tall moustache, the man who took a piece of my heart that day with his tears of grief and love, his boyish grin and his brown puppy Bess. Now the girls and I turn in his lane, we crunch the teal coloured Ford Escort wagon up his gravel driveway and park beside his old black pick up truck with such familiarity it's bewildering ... to all of us.

Each morning as I sit here at the teak topped desk, coffee in hand about to write this new days post and I tell myself. Enough about this love thing, enough about this cowboy and his brown hound. Every day I do mean to speak of something else and then... every day it feels like this is the thing I want to speak of.

I will tell you that my Creative Empire is busting at the seams - I don't think I've ever had so many projects on the go and all at the same time- yikes !! and me with my creative energy flag flying at half mast. It's completely overwhelming and I am hanging precariously from the dreaded deadline thread. My abilities to concentrate have been drastically impaired. I'm exhausted yet I can't sleep. I'm completely distracted in the most lovely way. In a fog. But Hey There !! Sister !! this big ol' Empire's not gonna build itself so ... Snap out of It !! Please !!
(I am allowed to speak those words to myself).

I'm up an hour early this morning. Coffee and archived phone love at 4:15 the perfect jump start to what I hope will be a kick ass day of blinding productivity. Today I will Rock On !!

Dopamine, Seratonin and Adrenaline won't ya be my friends, Please.







scenes from the cowboy's home

14 comments:

  1. Such pretty country, Susan! And you are allowed to be distracted, obsessed, giddy, and in general consumed. :) I'm happy for you!!! xox Pam

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  2. Beautiful photos Susan, and beautiful things happening!!So pleased.xx

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  3. Lovely house!

    But I'd go easy on the adrenalin, if I were you. Too much of it, for too long, is definitely Not Pleasant.

    Seratonin and serenity - now that's a good combination!

    So good to hear you happy and productive, whatever the chemical balance.... x

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  4. Keep writing what is on your mind and in your heart, Susan. We are with you all the way.

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  5. Snort! "Snap out of it" What a seamless transition from Cher, the singing years to Cher, the acting years. I hope the Cowboy is ready for some Moonstruck Italian/Nova Scotian cooking when he gets back.

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  6. LOVE that "barn"! and yes, rock on.
    Tail Wags to All.
    ~Moose

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  7. His place is beautiful, completely restored and yes there is the beautiful boat house that is so rooted (with steel beams) to it's location that it cannot be moved ...but ... the big ugly But "is" he lives on a pretty major (busy) secondary highway, a highway with a speed limit of 80kms but the idiots who live and drive around here zoom by his place, a long stretch of straight road, most often at 120kms - Mama can never, ever live on a road with that kind of speed and traffic because to lose an animal to a car would kill me.

    The good news is - the cowboy loves this old brick house ... "and" the girl who lives here. Wink. Our plan is to eventually move to a third house - one which will combine both of our loves and requirements for domestic bliss and will take into consideration our growing family of animals.

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  8. Gosh, I love the happiness over here. Thanks for the smiles.

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  9. Try alternating one hour of working with 1/2 hour of purposeful dreaming...for an eight hour day...then physical exercise...then writing...then dreaming. The sleep thing will resolve itself, but I know how miserable that is. Just try to lie comfortably in bed without worrying about sleep. Four more days?!

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  10. Wow, the beauty where you live is amazing. Be distracted by love. You'll finish stuff. How often does this kind of love happen?

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  11. And you've just been given an award, you soppy old thing you! Pop over to me and pick it up....

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  12. Kiss ass?!" now that's NOT somethign I;ve ever ehard you say here! Woners continue to never cease.

    gorgeous photos.You don't need to apologise for your posts on your adn cowboy adn what you share. It is one very compelling story and sets your blog yet farther apart--in a good way as always. I mean, it was incredible when you were down--so heart wrenching and no it is that much more so. Still heart wrenching but now pulled by love. Simply Beautiful.

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