sure !

Oliver on the bathroom windowsill - the portrait on the pink wall is of Brent

True friends stab you in the front

Oscar Wilde

always in the front and always just nicking the heart

Bubbles and scent are pouring. The wind is howling outside my office windows. The Ness has gone out to prowl around in darkness and everyone else (Missy D, Piper Belle, Oliver & Gus) is waiting patiently for les action to begin. I so love this time of day. I feel safe and secure when it's still dark. It's so quiet, the world immediately around me seems to be still sleeping, the day is brand new and I know without a doubt that anything and everything is possible. Yesterday was a very good day. I put a large dent in that pile of things accumulating here on the teak topped desk and around this old brick house. I worked steadily until evening when I just couldn't work anymore. I think I have bitten off much more than I can chew - which I so hate to admit. In my world and in my head there is no limit and that's not good. There has to be a limit ... but oh my, how to find it ?

It's the ultimate curse of the freelance designer - you never, ever want to utter the word "No" you nod and say "Yes !" to it all, while the voice in your head madly whispers "But how ? you fool". Each customer believes, because you allow it, that they are the one and only and of course their project is of the highest priority and there is no way to explain to them that actually you have several priorities. The multiple priority in itself is a bit of an oxymoron and no one but you really believes in it's existence. What to do ? What to do ? Should I lie ? make up some wild excuse ? I'm terrible at that. Should I tell the truth ? Heart on sleeve girl would much prefer this solution. These long term customers of mine, they feel so like friends, we've developed relationships, maybe I'll confide in them ? or maybe they'll interpret this recent mad popularity of my design skills as a feather in their own cap ? Wow !! she must be good, she's so busy, she's so popular - we want her more ? All good yes, but it won't ultimately solve the problem of how many hours does it really take to be brilliant ? Sigh.

I know in my heart what I must do - I must keep quiet, say as little as possible. Lies only of omission. Nose to teak topped desk. Keep to my schedule as best I can. Breath deeply and keep counting the days until the cowboy comes home ... his aim is true.