08/27/2009

miss winnie dixon this week at our big rock a stop along our morning walk

she listens to my woes
she laughs at all my jokes
she sits patiently and waits while I stop to investigate something
a shell, a worn piece of beach glass an insect or a piece of bone
when I stop to take photographs she sits quietly just looking around
she's looking for muskrats, groundhogs or cats that don't belong to her
she is a terrier girl with a bit of sight hound thrown in
she's on a leash often because of this - if she spied a small moving mammal
she'd be off, gone like a shot and there would be no calling her back
and I couldn't bare to lose her - so I keep her close by me
she's 10, she'll be 11 in January - how can that be - it seems like only yesterday
she came to live with us when she was 1, from the shelter
she loved Jake & Em instantly, they became her pack - she fit right in
it seems to me like she's always been here
I can't remember what my life might have been like without her
we've said some big goodbyes, she and I and we've lived through big sadness
she loves to keep me company in the car when I do errands
again she sits patiently waiting, keeping the car safe and keeping my seat warm
she sleeps in a bed under my desk while I work
and she lays curled at my feet on my bed while I sleep
she loves to just sit on the grassy hill overlooking the harbour
each evening we both stare up at the clouds racing across a blue sky
above the glistening water
I lie down and she lies down beside me and I hold her paw in my hand
and we just lie there, the breeze blowing over us and nothing
in the world seems to matter
I put my face in her fur and I breathe in and I try to burn these memories in
how she smells, the funny little groaning noises she makes if I scratch her just so
into me - I try to burn her into my heart so I'll always have her ... with me
and I tell her how much I love her over and over again

and I wish we could stay there, like that - forever.

* a post from August 27 2009 - oh how my own blog archives have been helping me with my grief & sadness, helping me to "be with" my beautiful shaggalicious girl... my dear, sweet Winnie Darn Dixon