Friday, May 1, 2009

guest room looking out into the bright sunny hallway

Good morning May ... so long April.

I walked Miss D yesterday morning down into the park a little later than our usual time. The young rambunctious dog we meet every morning was being walked by his mother (not his usual dad). She and I stopped to chat. Oh yes we know of each other we agreed It's so nice to meet finally face to face ... person to person. She's an artist as well. The conversation carries on. Yes I nod I've been here 16 years but I've recently decided it's time to leave. Oh really ! she seems surprised My husband and I are looking for a house to buy she tells me. I live in the brick house on Black Street, you know the one with the tangled gardens Of course she knows my house, everyone knows my house - it is one of the most beautiful homes in this little village. How much was I asking ? I wasn't really prepared for that question but I blurted out a number that had been bouncing around (in there). When could they come by and see my house ? How about Monday ? Perfect we agreed.

So ... Mama's got three days to spit & polish. To do a little staging, a little hiding
(of cluttery stuff - thank goodness for big huge crawlspaces) and a lot of dusting, cleaning and vacuuming. Like a mother with a child about to have her first piano recital I want this big old beautiful girl to look her very best. I want the glorious light that fills this home to shine in through big windows that are sparkling. I want her vast spacious rooms and her lovely high ceilings to show off their grandness. I want her greatest potential to sing.

Last night Miss D and I sat in the park on the grassy hill down near the water. We sat beside a harbour sparkling and glistening under a setting sun and we listened to waves gently lapping at the sea wall. We both put our faces to the sun and we basked awhile. We soaked it all in. I thought to myself Oh my, what a chapter this one's been. What a life I've lived here in this little village, a life much bigger and richer than I could have ever imagined. Of course I have a lump in my throat. I love this house, my home, my haven and I have loved this life with my heart and soul. This old brick house once filled to the brim with such huge, big love and purpose now feels empty. These last few years have been filled with goodbyes. This is a big step I'm taking. I must be brave. I must be fearless. I'm readying myself for another goodbye ... I'm preparing to let go of this old life. This big ol' beautiful life I've lived here at 29 Black Street.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.

Kenny Rogers

Saturday past - pre-poof ! - and the oh so temporary illusion of tamed gardens

A friend of mine, Lou Lou (not sweet Lulu - Queen of All Things - who's yelling at us now from heaven) mentioned the book Transitions by William Bridges to me recently. Unfortunately it's not available at my library - it's on my amazon wish list.

The paintings above the doorway are by my great aunt Florence - not only was she an incredibly talented impressionistic painter of Nova Scotia landscapes she also was known for fine, exact medical illustrations at a time when cameras were not yet used to document surgeries. She worked closely with pioneer brain surgeon Wilder Penfield in Montreal. Another amazing woman in my family who unfortunately died while I was far too young to really appreciate her.


  1. I sincerely understand how you are feeling Susan :o( We left our treasured home two years ago, and as we were moving out our last load of boxes, I was bawling my eyes out. There's no place like home!

  2. Oh my goodness, what a shock! But you were planning to move anyway, so I suppose getting it over with rather sharply might help with the pain of letting go.

    I hope it all works well on Monday. But you haven't said anything about where you want to go next?

  3. I hope it all turns out like you want it to, Susan. We are planning on looking for another place to live this year and I know how you feel...even though you want to leave, it is still hard.

  4. Well, Susan, further proof that the Lord does, indeeed, work in mysterious have been planning for a move and you have put your desires out to the universe...we shall see what transpires....
    LOVE LOVE LOVE your aunt's paintings!!! My fave is the one in the middle at the top of the door! She was gifted! Give Miss WD a kiss on the head from all of us down here in Big D and have a great weekend. Don't forget to breathe!!!


  5. Kinda a bittersweet moment. With a big dose of a whole lot of cleaning.

  6. Exciting unplanned news and cleaning for the showing.
    Showing -selling- packing up- moving all so emotional.
    Hope the organizing goes well this wknd.

  7. When unexpected events happen like this, you've got to just go with the flow. I'm hoping your muse is guiding you to happy places! xx

  8. Good luck on your 'transitions'; I agree that it takes tremendous courage to make a life change even if it's your choice. Perhaps it takes even more strength to change when life is fine but not what you hope for...take care and may the showing go well. <3w

  9. I just love your house and the woodframing in it. It;s so lovely and I know that simply by the way you present your art adn photos here that you will also stage your house jsut right. We are both in transition it seems, no? Take care my dear online friend. You are an inspiration to so many here.

    BTW, "rambunctious" is such a great word--haven't heard that in ages.

  10. ((singing the Kenny Rogers song))


    hee hee

    I wish you the best on selling your house. And hey..if I were closer, I would LOVE to come help you get it cleaned and all dolled up!!

    Much love to you and the furry gang!

    ( I go to catch up on your posts!)


  11. Love aunt Florences' paintings- what a treasure you have. And remember, change is good.

  12. I know what you mean about a large empty house that was once filled to the brim with love and excitement! It is an ache like no other! Why so many goodbyes and endings? Will we ever learn to look forward more than we look back? Prayers for you and the fur people!

  13. how exciting, susan, but i know also very bittersweet. it is hard to say goodbye to an era in our lives even when we know that the net one is filled with hope and possibility.

    i read a book on vacation called three dog life, a memoir by abigail thomas and it made me think of you. her love for her dogs and the wonderful support they provided to her in times of mega change parallel just a tiny bit your pending change. you might like it.

  14. This is so wonderful to hear, Susan. It inspires me and comforts me also, because it shows you just never know where your good fortune might come from or when.

    The house looks wonderful in the photo. I'm catching up on my friend's blogs after a couple weeks of feeling dispirited and so I am hoping to see good news from you as I read further.


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