transition(s)

guest room looking out into the bright sunny hallway

Good morning May ... so long April.

I walked Miss D yesterday morning down into the park a little later than our usual time. The young rambunctious dog we meet every morning was being walked by his mother (not his usual dad). She and I stopped to chat. Oh yes we know of each other we agreed It's so nice to meet finally face to face ... person to person. She's an artist as well. The conversation carries on. Yes I nod I've been here 16 years but I've recently decided it's time to leave. Oh really ! she seems surprised My husband and I are looking for a house to buy she tells me. I live in the brick house on Black Street, you know the one with the tangled gardens Of course she knows my house, everyone knows my house - it is one of the most beautiful homes in this little village. How much was I asking ? I wasn't really prepared for that question but I blurted out a number that had been bouncing around (in there). When could they come by and see my house ? How about Monday ? Perfect we agreed.

So ... Mama's got three days to spit & polish. To do a little staging, a little hiding
(of cluttery stuff - thank goodness for big huge crawlspaces) and a lot of dusting, cleaning and vacuuming. Like a mother with a child about to have her first piano recital I want this big old beautiful girl to look her very best. I want the glorious light that fills this home to shine in through big windows that are sparkling. I want her vast spacious rooms and her lovely high ceilings to show off their grandness. I want her greatest potential to sing.

Last night Miss D and I sat in the park on the grassy hill down near the water. We sat beside a harbour sparkling and glistening under a setting sun and we listened to waves gently lapping at the sea wall. We both put our faces to the sun and we basked awhile. We soaked it all in. I thought to myself Oh my, what a chapter this one's been. What a life I've lived here in this little village, a life much bigger and richer than I could have ever imagined. Of course I have a lump in my throat. I love this house, my home, my haven and I have loved this life with my heart and soul. This old brick house once filled to the brim with such huge, big love and purpose now feels empty. These last few years have been filled with goodbyes. This is a big step I'm taking. I must be brave. I must be fearless. I'm readying myself for another goodbye ... I'm preparing to let go of this old life. This big ol' beautiful life I've lived here at 29 Black Street.

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.

Kenny Rogers


Saturday past - pre-poof ! - and the oh so temporary illusion of tamed gardens

A friend of mine, Lou Lou (not sweet Lulu - Queen of All Things - who's yelling at us now from heaven) mentioned the book Transitions by William Bridges to me recently. Unfortunately it's not available at my library - it's on my amazon wish list.

The paintings above the doorway are by my great aunt Florence - not only was she an incredibly talented impressionistic painter of Nova Scotia landscapes she also was known for fine, exact medical illustrations at a time when cameras were not yet used to document surgeries. She worked closely with pioneer brain surgeon Wilder Penfield in Montreal. Another amazing woman in my family who unfortunately died while I was far too young to really appreciate her.