dealing with dragons

my favourite drawing tools + favourite drawing companion / the end of Water St. looking out into the strait / afternoon meeting with floral collage / love, love Miss D now in her 16th year / geranium blossom / Sam& Winnie / Oliver telling Virgil a secret / breakfast - veggie frittata with greens / virginia creeper stems/cuttings in water (for Rachel who loves stems in water ;-)

Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.

Rainer Maria Rilke

Oh Rainer Maria Rilke you are my fav … you say the best things ever.

I've been wrestling my many demons dragons, actually I've been trying to not wrestle with them. I keep forgetting  - no wrestling ! - the odd dragon slaying if necessary, but definitely no wrestling ! And to imagine instead that those dragons might be princesses, befriending them, accepting them, forgiving them, loving them ... by far the hardest work on my plate. Hard because it takes so much practice & self awareness, hard because it is counter intuitive for our species I think to approach negative thinking in this new way but I believe with all my heart that it is the path ... my path to more peace, serenity & ease.

I have learned so much this past year about the anxious mind - about my anxious mind. And what happens when anxiety ramps up & careens out of control like a runaway car, the brakes stuck and the gas - pedal to the metal. I'll confess I didn't cope well. I crashed & burned on repeat. Everything I've learned about me & anxiety this past year I learned the hard way which is sometimes the best way & often the only way you really learn those big important life lessons.

Trial by fire, a bit of rock bottoming - who am I kidding there was a lot of bouncing off the bottom of my life from September 2013 on. But oh my, some dragons slain, some dragons turned to princesses, my work load eased up considerably and with many brand new coping skills firmly in place I feel myself lighter, happier & way more confident then I've ever felt. I know I can & will deal with any & all dragons that come my way. I trust me. I have faith in me. Hooray for that !