evolving faith

oh my - the light, it's always about the light - photography is / nasturtiums in my still blooming, mostly flowers wee veggie garden / Creative Director Oliver - he thinks bet with his eye's closed and preferably basking in sunshine / more gorgeous front porch begonias + one of my favourite colours / Missy D & me on our early morning stroll / my studio windowgarden xoxo / back yard berries / our Virgil, orange Mama &a possible escape plan / I love this old poplar tree at the end of Water St. 

If your life is cloudy and you're far off course, you may have to go on faith for awhile, but eventually you'll learn that every time you trust your internal navigation system, you end up closer to your right life. Martha Beck 

My life doesn't feel cloudy at all these days, but it certainly did feel cloudy, stormy & difficult most of 2013 and well into this year and I did trust me, I knew in my heart that if I counted on my intuition, let my "gut" make decisions for me and embraced the idea of having faith (my one little word for this year) everything would fall into place - things would work out. After all if I was going to trust me & my intuition I better have faith that they wouldn't let me down and even if at first it seems like maybe they had let me down I'd remember to sit still, quietly and wait patiently until grace and the silver lining(s) appeared - emerging like dense from the dense fog of angst & worry - 'cause they always do appear. I've also tried (and am still trying) to kick the desire, need & want to control to the curb ... a habitual behaviour that I know longer believe in, though sometimes I forget and slip up and control comes waltzing in like she owns the place.

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself. Alan Alda

I'm reminding myself to try to not be so thinned skin, reminding myself that people who do doubt, question or judge my choices and decisions aren't in my camp - and that's OK. They're people who don't really know me but somehow are under the misguided impression that they know me very well. When you're a heart on sleeve kind of girl, which I am big time some people in my life take my constant openness & sharing far too literally, as if it's all fact & truth (they don't know the secret code), when actually it's process & evolution - I'm planning aloud, I'm brainstorming, I'm moving fast most of the time. By speaking my thoughts and ideas aloud and to people I'm working things out ... when a decision is finally made I know with all my heart that it's the best one for this time and place ... the best decision or choice for this moment in time.

The way that other people judge me is none of my business. Martha Beck