the truth, today

Thursday, October 30, 2014

pure dog joy - from the left Duke, Winnie Dixon & Maggie Sue low tide on the Pugwash Point beach circa 2008 (I'm guessing)

Usually we walk around constantly believing ourselves. "I'm okay" we say. "I'm alright". But sometimes the truth arrives on you and you can't get it off. That's when you realize that sometimes it isn't even an answer–it's a question.  Markus Zusak - The Book Thief

The truth, today is not the same as the truth was Saturday or Sunday or Monday or Tuesday. The truth seemed to arrive on Wednesday after lunch. The truth being I miss her ... I can't believe she's not here. After all those flurried few days of worry & fret, of decision making & details to organize & most of all spending what I knew would be my final moments and hours of quality time with my Winnie girl, chatting, reminiscing and reminding her how much I loved her. Now that all that busy-dust has settled and things are somewhat back to normal (?) the truth today is

I keep wondering, a million moments throughout today, where is she ? where did she go ?

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Khalil Gibran


  1. the Gibran quote is perfect... thinking of you every day... the feelings ebb and flow with the days and weeks... you're in my thoughts and prayers.

  2. I am so very sorry for your loss dear Susan, I have some idea of how heartbreaking this is for you. Yes after all of the frenzy, the worry, the last moments to spend some time with your beloved Winnie to say goodbye, suddenly there is lonely silence, an emptiness that cannot be filled. She is not there in a physical sense for you to hold and cuddle, to bring you some comfort and that is unbearable, I cannot stand the separation of death, it is a bitter pill to swallow and leaves more questions than answers. Winnie will always stay with you in your heart, your memories and in time the pain will lessen.
    Thinking of you sweet Susan and sending love and warm hugs.
    xoxoxo ♡

  3. oh, susan, i'm so sorry. crying a few tears this morning for you and sweet winnie and the overwhelming sadness of loss in all its many forms. i remember when i lost my dear presley a few folks told me he was in heaven chasing squirrels which he had not been able to do for the last few years of his life. and he had reunited with is buddy jo jo and was busy smelling jo jo's butt. those visions made me smile and certainly helped. but they did not lessen the feeling of loss and the emptiness. those were only assuaged with time. sending you hugs and wishes for some peace. but mostly, hoping you can hang on to the sweet memories to comfort you.

  4. Winnie was a special dog to you with a special story, and your relationship was not the usual dog-and-person relationship. I hope you can take comfort in how kind you were to her throughout her life, right up to and through the end.

    I have been thinking about you all week.

  5. the only comfort being that it will happen a bit less every day. cherish the photos and memories, she was certainly beyond special.

  6. I love you all dear friends and each and every word and comment does help, gives me great comfort & great confidence now that I've arrived in the lands of questioning and second thoughts. Now is the time I need these reminders most. I did do the best thing at the best time that I could conceive of ... even though often the best thing is the hardest thing and also the saddest thing. Thank you all so much for taking the time to leave a comment xoxo Susan + gang

  7. Sorry to hear of your loss. I too felt I knew Winnie from the pictures you posted of her. Sending you a comforting hug.

  8. Thank you for reminding me of the Gibran quote. And yes, the land of second thoughts -- I'm there now, too, and must remind myself every day of the good life my beloved Dakota had and that it was time for him to go. I know it was the right thing but it's still hard and lonely and empty. Take care.

  9. Not sure what to say, but every post you write is such a beautiful tribute. Sending you a big warm hug...


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