MLou, L & Missy J
I'm so tired this early morning and Oh my I had such A Day yesterday. A day to cure all that ails you (or me anyway), a day that proves to me that friendship, a little shopping, a wee road trip, bright healing sunshine, warm spring weather, big hiking exercise and some spectacular Nova Scotia scenery will blow away any and all blues. Will mend sore and aching shoulders, will make lingering worried headaches disappear. Will make you sleep like a baby and wake feeling optimistic and bright. A day like yesterday reminds me that I'm quite sure I don't need an antidepressant - I just need a life.
I have isolated myself from the world. I work from home and have for the last 8 years. I was reclusive and shy to begin with but I've crossed over from occasional feelings of loneliness to down right isolation and that is the biggest reason for my sadness, the sadness that never really ever goes away. I'm afraid I may have fooled you all. I'm sure you don't really see that side of me because here in the land of Blog I am Madam Extroverted - somehow it always feels safe here to let her out. I said to MLou yesterday it's why I love blogging so much because I don't have to live in a world with people - it is a lovely reasonable facsimile and a totally perfect world for the chronically self conscious.
I'm realizing when my days are filled up with companionship (I dare say that's No.1 and of course it must be the right kind of companionship 'cause not any old companionship will do), endless activity, exercise, a bit of fresh air and sunshine, lots of love and some good food - at the end of the day I'm far too tired, satisfied and content to feel bored, lonely or sad. I know I can't have days like yesterday every single day. But I'm sure going try and figure out a way to have them way more often. 'Cause... it sure is the cure for what ails me.
Merci MLou, L & Jigs
The Merry Recluse by Caroline Knapp (another favourite writer and kindred spirit)
So glad you are feeling better.Working from home has it's downside and especially if you are alone. Good friends, sunshine, exercise and beauty will help every time. I've camped in Five Islands Prov. Park. This looks very much like it.
ReplyDeleteBRAVO SUSAN! So happy to hear the Blues were blown away!
ReplyDeleteCarol
I'm glad you chased the blues away.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a lovely day. I suppose the knack is how to get a healthy balance that works across your life - a day like yesterday would wear you out if repeated too often, and you'd start fretting about the work left undone and the missing hours of welcome and needed solitude. But you've identified the elements that made it a 'cure' day - I wonder if it might be possible to start consciously building some of those elements into your everyday life? In manageable doses that keep the isolation at bay but allow you to remain the free spirit that you are? Just a thought...
ReplyDeleteGood link to the Merry Recluse too - could this woman be me, in another life I wasn't aware of?
Though I'm not naturally as introverted as you, Susan, I understand about the self isolating life style. I live 35 mile round trip to a town and I have always carefully regulated my encounters with people. When FH was here, though one might think he was a companion, I actually was more isolated. Now, I am, like you, making a big effort to call people on the phone, actually ANSWER the phone when it rings, and venture out..and CONNECT. I think that's the big thing. Trying to connect with everyone one meets in a more than superficial way.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you had a great day. You're right about those great days, they are the best, but they don't happen on their own. They have to be created. Keep it up!
Susan, you pulled me up today to see over the top of the hole. My hands are still grasping, and I am looking back down to the soft blackness. But I don't want to go there. I want out!!! I know I too need what you said. Would that everyone had a M'Lou that really "liked" them and was not just trying to fix them. I could feel the sun on your back and the twinkle begin to come into your eyes. Now if I can see a way out of my financial problems (shame on me for having them! guilt and shame again. I hear you cackling like Susan's discouragers. And I am almost drowning in shame again.) What is the antidote for shame? Perhaps we need to do as another Susan said this week: "dream a dream, but NOT let life kill it." How? Find a way out...someway. Is there a chink in the wall of debt? Is there a light shining through a tiny hole? Can I remove a pebble at a time? M'Lou, if you are out there, please come spend the day with me. Please, God, let my pain get better...and my losses not so hard to bear! And bless this dear friend!
ReplyDeleteI did not mean to be anonymous. I am Martha
ReplyDeleteSusan, I am back to tell you I could not believe someone in Nova Scotia..so far from Collierville, TN (where I live) could almost immediately be online with an answer. DIANE,
ReplyDeletemy sister from Tupelo MS wrote you the other day. Your post today made her cry. She said "Susan sounds just like you." And you do....even down to your flannel and down nest with all the animals. How do people live without a nest? More later....Love from Diane, and me..and all our animals! Martha
Whew!! So good to breathe all that cleansing air of friendship and renewal! You just needed to step out and "mingle" with the universe!! And thank you for sharing those beautiful pictures!!! WOW! Have a great weak!
ReplyDeleteVickie
Oh Martha I'm so glad that this post enabled you to see above and out of your dark and deep hole. Shame is terrible, shame can spread like wildfire and if not you're not careful it will smother your entire being.
ReplyDeleteI don't know the secret of why I'm so blessed to have an MLou in my life and in such a big way. She and I have been friends for over 20 years and she always held a very firm position as one of my favourite people ever. I think we both always considered each other to be very good friends.
But our friendship changed dramatically when Jake became sick and it became clear that his life was ending. She knew how I loved that dog with every ounce of my being and she stepped up and faced my grief and sadness with me in a way that still amazes me. And she's still standing there with me. Her husband is a dear, smart, easy going and interesting man and they together are an amazing couple.
I am very blessed & grateful to have them in my. I do hope that you find your own MLou, be it friend or family or that they can find you.
I think a pebble at a time is always better than no pebble at all. And always remember "just' the pebble that's directly in front of you, don't ya go thinking about all those other pebbles. Because there will always be a never ending supply of new pebbles. It takes much practice and constant diligence and sometimes the help of a very good friend.
We'll be thinkin' about you.
Much love S, Miss D, Oliver, Bleet& the Lil' Man
Boy, I can't tell you how much I relished this post, and also the comments back and forth above.
ReplyDelete"A day like yesterday reminds me that I'm quite sure I don't need an antidepressant - I just need a life."
--This is so funny but true. We are made to be social creatures--we need each other.
I need some more days like this too right now.
It made me smile to hear about your day. I hope you have lots more just like it!
ReplyDeleteSUSAN: THE OTHER DAY WHEN YOU FELT SAD, I WAS AMAZED THAT ALL YOUR BLOG FRIENDS RESPONDED WITH SUCH CONCERN AND THE KINDEST WORDS FOR YOU. THEY LOVE YOU!! I SEE WHY BECAUSE OF YOUR HONESTY, AND BECAUSE YOU ARE LIKE THAT, TOO..YOU CARED ENOUGH TO TAKE TIME TO SEND WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO MY SISTER WHO WAS HAVING SOME OF THE SAME FEELINGS. THANK YOU FOR THAT! I READ YOUR BLOG DAILY NOW SINCE SHE TOLD ME ABOUT IT.
ReplyDeleteI was too consumed on Sunday to comment on the stunning beauty and wide open expanses of earth you covered this weekend. I'm sure Ms. Winnie was quite the happy pup and it sounds like just the healing balm for you too.
ReplyDeleteKeep the faith and strength in yourself. If I can yank and adapt a line from one of my favorite songs, don't sail that ship of safety until you sink it.