robin williams

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

All from this morning's walks, my first with Miss D (omg I love her so much and cherish each day I have with her 'cause I know our days together are winding down) / beautiful stripes of water in the sea / her sweet Wanda Cameron skinny shaggaliciuos legs with yellow wildflowers / sea grass / Winnie Dixon near the Dingy beach with salt boat / amazing & beautiful tiny wave / seaweed / from the boardwalk in Eaton Park / my best girl Dee / nature blows mw away / more from the crescent beach / I love living by the sea / crescent beach silhouette / our Eaton park harbour side boardwalk

There are so many things that I want so
badly to tell you but I just can't  Nina LaCour

How can this happen ? how can someone we perceive to be as so happy, so joyous & full of life just one day give up - they've tried, he's (obviously) tried all he can - I get it. I am so sad that such a bright sparkling person had to finally just give up. But I understand completely the desire to want to check out. I used to believe that depressed people were those grey, drab, can't get out of bed people - but now I know that you can be very depressed and not be grey or drab at all. You can see beauty & joy everywhere, every day and still it's not quite enough. You feel like to don't fit, can't fit and are so tired of trying to make yourself  fit - it's exhaustion that wins out - you just want to slip away, undetected, quietly. Bless you sweet Robin Williams - by this very tragic final act you have helped so many people, you have changed the face of depression & this will help lots of people. I know it's helped me already, it's helped me with acceptance

One of my favourite songs ever - and as much as I strain & push against the love & patience of my Prince, my Doug with my own struggles with depression I know he wants only to give me  - everything I've ever wanted - how can that not be enough?

I will give you everything
That you've ever wanted
With this promise
I will bring you home again


  1. Hi Susan,
    Lovely shagalicious legs.
    I was floored to read of Robin's passing. Saddened too.
    My roots/branches/growth are tied to San Francisco where he was a fixture. He also visited or had a home in our PNW town and husband shared a table with him in the past year at a deli - just a regular guy.
    With his being only a handful of years older than I and husband, this hurts to see a shining light go out, to go out alone, so young(ish).
    But you are very correct Susan, it will change the face of depression and his last act may become a legacy for a good - it is what I hope for. RIP Robin.

  2. I hate that effin' "black dog".

    It has taken far too many good people from us.

  3. Listening to that song just choked me up as I re-read your post. My heart breaks for all of us who struggle, day after day, treading water and trying to make moments of peace and joy enough... it's not everything, but it's enough

  4. Wonderful images dear Susan, especially of dear Winnie, those shagalicious legs are so beautiful.
    So sad to hear the news of Robin Williams death, such a wonderful man who brought laughter and happiness to so many of us. Depression is such an insidious disease, which plays havoc with our lives and emotions. I guess he had had enough of the pain and was looking for some lasting peace.
    RIP dear Robin.
    xoxoxo ♡

  5. If he could feel that much despair - it validates my own feelings of loss, sadness & alienation and makes me feel so much less crazy. It is a shocking loss & hopefully a giant wake-up call to the thousands of people who suffer from this affliction.

    Hey ! Kittty would SO love an update email where are you? details please ?? much love to you & DH xoxo les gang

  6. I know you like Anne Lamott - if you can access her Facebook page - AnneLamott, I think -- she wrote yesterday or today about Robin. They grew up together, in the same Tiburon neighbourhood. And as always, she's awesome even through her pain.


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