ponders & queries

an incredible amount of snow fell through the night, on top of slushy freezing rain - not good !

Winnie & I did our shorter route this early morning. Arriving back to 29 Black to find the Prince shoveling a path for us & our 4th cat Bruce (born in the wild) arriving for breakfast. Some big stuff, big changes ... bubbling away on les back burner here at CE* headquarters. If I seem more quiet than usual it's because my mind is a little on the full side and so many of the billion little thoughts zooming around in my head are still at the "ponders & queries" stage – not at all yet formulated into concrete ideas or action plans. Ponder & query ... then it's on to make + do.

* creative empire

a saturday

oh my, I miss Lil' C - little Cyrus, sweetest ginger kitten & think about him every day

snow in the forecast, an ever changing to-do list, a messy office that's needing to be tidied
my loyal associate who keeps me company always, quiet and productive is what I'm aiming for

tiny life No.6

A Tiny Life No. 6 - 7 x 5 giclee print now available in my shop - Susan Black

I still want that tiny life I used to obsessively dream of. I may live in a large brick house and we do have a big beautiful yard & garden but I want my world in many ways to stay tiny & simple.

on being certain

back in the shop - 10 x 12 giclee print - let it go - Susan Black

A bird in hand is a certainty.
But a bird in the bush may sing.

Bret Harte

I've been thinking a lot about the concept of letting go, if you consider what would be the opposite of letting go you might say & feel that it is ... clinging to, holding tight, being certain of. I've realized that a crucial part of actually being able to let go is to recognize that you are clinging, holding & being certain in the first place. Like any addiction you must acknowledge the relationship before you will ever be able to say goodbye to it. So much of what we hold close, what we've decided, becomes such second nature to us. We become so absorbed in our busy day to day we perhaps forget to check in to re-examine and question those things we have been clutching so tightly. The beliefs & feelings we've become sure of - the person we think we know for certain - that we've become.

The courage to grow demands the courage to let go

Danny Meyer

I've just recently past the point of being frightened of letting go & I must say it's quite lovely here on the other side. Of course you don't know you're even headed for the other side until you reach it and you can look back at the distance you've covered. Hindsight really is it, after all. For so many years I clung to the person I'd made myself out to be, me & my extra thick, somewhat impenetrable, shell of certainty and to be honest, here on the other side, the only thing I know for sure is that I'm not sure about anything.

If we insist on being as sure as is conceivable ...
we must be content to creep along the ground and will never soar

John Henry Newman

quiet & busy

10 from out n' about our little seaside village + a rare photo of the black velvet chicelet

happiness is ... a lovely full dance card

more hearts

drifting hearts - 5 x 7 giclee print - Susan Black

loads of 29 Black Street love found here
merci ! Andrea !

johnny cake + chili

johnny cake, chili & broccoli slaw - last night's dinner

+ Madmen season 4 episodes 4-6 (of 13) that darn Don, he's sinking like a stone

Pretty basic chili recipe except I used ground chicken instead of beef (1/2lb) lots of cumin lots of chili powder added at the saute stage, I mashed up half of my 2 cups of kidney beans to make a thicker chili + added 1 cup frozen corn & two finely diced green onions to my Johnny Cake. The secret with any slaw is to mix it up early so it has time to wilt & marinate & always add sugar ;-)

oh my, the details

scenes from a Nova Scotia January

More quiet here at the teak topped desk. Truth be told I'm a bit overwhelmed, actually a lot overwhelmed. There's talk of an assistant (the Prince) taking over much of the busy business side of my burgeoning creative empire. Hard for me to imagine letting go, letting go of some imaginary knowledge & expertise I've convinced myself only I own, letting go of control, letting go of tired old, clung-to habits. Recognizing that big change is inevitable & needed. I'm spending far too much of my time doing things I'm not good at, things I don't enjoy & things that take me twice as long as they should because of that detachment I have toward them. I feel panicked lately, I'm holding my breath much of the time, a sure sign that somethings up. It's all good stuff goin' on but I'm feeling buried with the details - I'm not good, obviously, with the details.

I'm thinking about taking a March break - a week during the actual school break here March 12-16 (actually 8 days Friday - Friday) to totally reorganize, delete, trash, revamp, systemize, paint (I'm obsessed with having a charcoal grey office avec curtains), ya da ya da ya da. So many things I need to change, I need to simplify. I have to.

random bits

gorgeousity from Vancouver based Banquet Atelier - recent purchases pour moi

The funny thing about me, or at least I think it's funny, is that many mornings, especially lately I have very little to say here dans les blog. The thing is - I love blogging, love my blog, love the daily ritual & routine of it - the discipline even of it all. Every now & then the deep, big thoughts do gather together in my mind & spew out here in some rather personal, honest & quite open fashion. Other days, like today, my mind is filled with little bits of randomness, superficiality, the odd kooky thing & the constant thought to remember to breath. Les to-do list doth runneth over, I find myself run-walking while making dinner even, as if it's some timed event ... 30 mins-go !!

A few assorted bits of randomness

• I've been in a reading slump - realizing finally that it was not the fault of the lovely bedside pile of book goodness from the library - but more that my brain was busy doing flip-tee-doos & somersaults (I think a lot to do with this freakin' fantastic course) with such a vengence that I've been unable to concentrate & relax enough to get into a book. Last night I began John Banville's The Sea and am loving it. (2 others waiting off stage seem promising as well - Olive Kitteridge & Everything is Illuminated - where this gorgeous but sad passage came from). A good book at bedtime is as important to my mental health as keeping my early morning journal with coffee - both relaxing, but in completely different ways. I also have the unabridged audio version of The Help to listen to while I work when I'm not snickering along with Jon Stewart & Steven Colbert.
Can you say Republican Presidential Candidate ? Hullo !

• I've become mildly hooked (read obsessed) with new Bravo show (watched on youtube) - It's a Brad, Brad World - the life of a fashion stylist in La la Land, Brad Goreski former Rachel Zoe assistant - h-o-o-k-e-d (sung by a chorus of angels) + he's Canadian. LOVE it & him.

• Have the Mad Men* theme constantly playing in my head. We begin Season 4 ce soir. Oh boy !

• have decided to practice & hone the fine art of Defensive Living (more on that later)

• banana, soy milk, fresh pineapple, coconut extract, greek yogurt smoothies every morning

• grateful & thrilled to pieces that my dance card is so full

happy weekend !!

* if you haven't watched it ... well why not ?? it's good

blueish white

it's a winter wonderland here in our little village - early morning blue turns to white

She let go.

Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.

No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good & it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

Ernest Holmes

smiling a very big smile - thank you to my friend over at Making Space for this ;-)

little snow

hand inked 29 Black Street valentine's/anytime cards available at Inkwell or by special order*

little snow
big snow

An expression heard 'round these parts, a prediction, an omen of things to come. The smaller the flake of snow the more extreme the accumulation may be. The snowflakes on Miss D & my walk this early morning were teeny, tiny - almost invisible, like a white haze. There's a snowfall warning in effect for today, the worst of it happening this afternoon, schools are all cancelled & the Prince & are rushing off to the nearest larger town for one of our big provisions shops. We'll see if we can't race back to the village before les storm really hits. No art with kids today but I bet those kids are happy - no school - yippee !

* email me please & wholesale orders welcome ;-)