I'm not gonna lie

Friday, July 25, 2014














so SO much to love about living here - my naturalist spirit loved coming across this periwinkle snail lounging outside his or her shell in the early morning sunshine / what can I say - the beautiful & magnificent sea, the sea / 3.99 Walmart (mini) rose planted outside in a sunny spot mulched well for the winter months has been doing a gorgeous peachy, apricot. orange-ish bloom-a thon / queen anne's lace along the harbour's edge / sea wall with seaweed / ocean shot with seaweed / blue wildflowers called Chickory (reminds us of our Blue Mountain friends) / seaside wild blooms / seaweed & sand / oh my I do love t,he miniature worlds of moss & lichen / the Prince made me a bracket for my new second floor studio hummingbird feeder - it's been non stop hummer traffic - LOVE / more queen annes's lace a different perspective / & sigh - along the crescent beach - I will miss so much

It's funny really ... I have thought, planned, schemed & dreamed of leaving here 29 Black Street for forever - since way before Doug, the Prince of All fantastic things - but now as that time actually becomes real, close, imminent I am struck with dread, with foreboding, with worry, fret, anxiety. What if I have regret ? What if I miss this place ? What if I long to have it back ? What if I feel like I've made a huge mistake ??

How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be Elizabeth Lesser

I love my home, my house, my gardens, my property, my big, natural, beautiful, private incredible bubble + I love my easy access to the sea (139 steps exactly). Period. I do not love anymore the small village-ness, the lack of stimulation, the work & maintenance of a huge house & double size lot (actually that is Doug's dept. but he doesn't want to spend SO much time with that constant up keeping) up keeping that I know I have no desire (or time) to try and take on. I want, we want a way smaller, simpler, easier life  - tiny life, a really tiny life so that we can focus our energies on our individual passion & efforts on things we love to do rather than things we feel we have to do (and fortunately we each have loads of passions in spades). No boredom here !

But ... I'll be the first to admit that the closer this gets the more it makes me feel - a little crazy (in the bad way) I'm hoping that the person(s) that eventually buy this beautiful home & property will take over it's stewardship for us, that they will love & care for it as we have & ultimately that will give both Doug & I great peace of mind - it's amazing how attached you can become to a home. I'm not gonna lie this process is freaking me out a little, it's been feeling really hard, harder than I expected - it's a huge life transition.

Here's our current short list of potential new home locations (listed in my personal favourite order)

Charlottetown - PEI
Lunenburg - NS
St. Andrews -NB
Bear River - NS
Digby - NS
Annapolis Royal - NS

5 comments:

  1. Change is difficult. Change is nervewracking. Change is confusing and scary. We did the same thing, gave up the 10 year garden, the larger community, the conveniences. My husband almost pulled the plug on the move at the very last minute. We decreased our space by more than one half. We have been here 8 years, smaller house, bigger view, more ocean.....it was the right thing to do. Change seems to happen when its meant to and you will find new views inside and out..new inspirations. I live exactly opposite you on the other side of Canada. YOu can move here!
    Debra

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  2. You've thought it through for so long.

    You'll find a new special place that you'll never want to leave.

    BTW that's quite the list of options.

    Bear River VS Charlottetown ... not sure how you weigh those two.

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  3. ahh, I remember that feeling. I absolutely loved each of my previous houses. The thing that changed my worry about leaving was when I found the absolutely, positively perfect "next" house... and then the rest was easy. I will not be surprised if some version of that will be what you and Doug experience. Happy house hunting!

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  4. Truly a beauty of a list. I've stayed in each for varying amounts of time + I look forward to hearing the winner! I love the autumn + apples.... Guess which one could be a favorite??!!! Woof ~moose

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  5. Gorgeous images dear Susan, that rose just keeps on blooming.
    I would be very sad to leave such a beautiful place where years of memories and precious moments have been experienced...I hope you will be happy wherever you decide and make new memories there.
    Love, Dianne
    xoxoxo ♡

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