spring gear

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Bleet & Miss Winnie Dixon ready for rain

Big deep sigh. Followed by as many deep breaths as possible and maybe then a few yoga poses. Yesterday was just one of those days when I could not seem to get out of my head and my head was taking me on a high speed, twisting and turning, doom and gloom, all is hopeless you fool - kinda ride. Yuck !

For those of you reading Eckhart. It felt like one of those early spring days when those guys all get their muffler less, big tired, jacked up in the back, Trans Ams and Cameros out of storage. My Ego and My Pain Body sat in the front seat and I felt trapped in the back seat with the latest hanger on in the group - my most favourite role to play - The Victim. Poor me. Whoa is me, it's so hard, I'm all alone, I have to handle everything by myself. And I'm obviously doing a tres shitty job. Oh Whoa IS me ! We squealed around all day with the top down Guns & Roses and Motley Crue a blazing. It was horriblé !

All that is required to become free of the ego is to be aware of it, since awareness and ego are incompatible. Awareness is the power that is concealed within the present moment - NOW !

Page 78 The New Earth - Eckhart Tolle

That sentence initially may come across as very deep, maybe mystical sounding, but if you really think about it - IT actually is all so simple, and so straightforward. And It requires continuous ongoing practice. I need to prepare myself for the many slips ahead and many high speed rides where I find myself clinging onto past ways, for dear life. But I have become aware ... ever so subtly at times but it is still awareness. Oh Phew !

And here I sit this morning, coffee in hand, sweet little Buddha cat Oliver purring beside me. I did survive another day. They decided I was boring I guess and they packed up and left sometime during the night. I know they'll be back and often I don't hear them coming. They surprise me and I'll suddenly find myself thick in IT, before I realize it's them. It feels like I don't know how to make them leave, or maybe I just decide to sit down, have a drink and join them. Hey, this is just like old times. Party ! One more big sigh.

My new 24" imac arrived by courier yesterday. The giant cardboard box now sits in my kitchen - a large trophy to my procrastinating persona. What's the point of unpacking it until it has it's new perfect surface to sit on in it's newly painted office ? Which of course is not ready. Who's going to get that done if it's not you girlfriend. Blah ! Blah ! Blah ! Sigh. Sorry, that Victim Girl just pushed me out of my chair and typed those last few sentences. I made her go away ... and I closed my office door. Sigh.

So a silly, happy, colourful illustration from the archives this morning (and J. I have not forgotten about the request for jewellery drawings). Miss Winnie and her kitten Bleet dressed up in silly rain gear, in spring gear ... now if I can just get myself into spring gear. Smile.


  1. Hold on to that awareness and dont let go!

    If you need someone to kick those baddies out of your head and you dont feel like phoning one of your friends, do please email me. Id be happy to at least distract you for a while!

    My computer is back in action and im working really furiously to get things done before my Art Week. Thats why im up so late. Although this isnt technically work... but im just about to go to bed as its nearly midnight anyway!

    I got a shoe box size parcel in the mail today - I got excited for a minute, then realised it was something I had ordered and not a parcel from Canada. Boo Hoo.

    It wasnt anything as cool as a new Mac - open it and use it!

    Wow this is a really long comment! more like a one sided discussion than a comment. Oh well.

    Have a good day.

  2. 24 inch?!! OMG, that should definitely inspire a few smiles! I am green with envy ;) Forget the paint...open the box!!!

    Bleet and Miss Winnie are adorable!!

  3. That is the cutest picture of Bleet and Miss Winnie. Such talent.

    Don't you wish there was a magical button we could push when we need to turn down the noise in our head. Oh, I sure do!

    Definitely open the box now...paint later.

  4. I love it! What great colours....and look at the cute little buttons. bones for Winnie and fish and goodies for Bleet...hahahha... just great!

    I'm not quite sure what to say about the "other"... or Eckhart... won't be reading it..can't be bothered with Oprah....or her new all time favourite things that change daily....

    My sister is still analyzing everything including me...but still living with a guy who keeps her down and out...kids who treat her like crap... people who are walking over her roughshod and expecting and getting everything from her.......and,..well, forget that noise. Sometimes I think I am a bit selfish, but then I decide that, no, I am just being more choosy about who earns and gets my respect and generosity. Years ago when I was at total rock bottom and had even written the suicide note, I decided to grab myself and my life by the throat and actually live it ..... for me. I never looked back. Well, yeh..maybe I looked back at that huge sack of "experience" following along behind me...how can it go away? I lived it..and in a lot of cases I barely managed to survive intact.... but it is just that now. A bag of experience that I can use to draw upon if I need to...but it is no longer an elephant mocking me from under my living room carpet.

    I jettisoned plenty from my life... including certain people who were sinking me. I felt 60 pounds lighter and a million gray cells smarter. My theory became that life is too short to bother analyzing it to death; just get on with the business of living.

    oh, oh... I am now having this long one sided discussion pherenike.......hahhaha but, then, I do that all the time with me, so why not a computer keyboard?.... and you guys? I even chat to myself wandering around in the produce department at Safeway... they probably hide when they see me coming....(sometimes I borrow their black marker pens to write new lower prices on things with bruises ....like bananas......) they probably think .."here comes that weird woman again" ....who cares. I like me.

  5. Hi all. Noon-ish here in the village by the little harbour. Sunshine and crows building a nest in the big pine tree outside my office window.

    Thanks so much for your comments re Winnie & Bleet's illustration and ... I'm afraid I must disagree about the opening of the big cardboard box. It is and will be that giant reward for getting done what needs to be done in my office. If I open that box ... I will never finish painting. My current computer, an apple laptop will suffice until my office is ready for the new beast. Hopefully one day very soon.

    And thanks Vee ! I love your perspective on things, and you really made me smile thinking of you repricing the produce in your local Safeway.

    I'ts a much better day today I am very happy to report.

  6. That is such a charming illustration. I bought Eckhart's book but I haven't really gotten into it yet. I let you know how it goes.

  7. can we all stop over for tea and help you slap on some paint...unwrap anything?... .....

  8. Wonderful illustration! Adore it!

    I have long been a self talker. My head is continually abuzz with words and ideas and thoughts and some are quite dark. Some ablaze with light.
    I re work past conversations and analyze future endeavours.
    In short, it is noisy in here!

    But all the best people do that right?

    Ooh...what nice mail. I am envious!



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